Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Good Morning, Friends........
Another Hot day....

Sun rize at Hummingbird Lane......
The Hummers are hot and heavy here....
They have been hitting the feeders hard..

But I hope I don't see these......

Guess who's waiting for breakfast??

This is cool.....

Quite playing around and fix it......

Good way to get stomped....

He's got the beat......

Yeah, I'm leaving too......
♥♥♥
~~ Gus tells of the time his six-year-old grandson found a penny
and proudly showed it to his grandmother.

"What's so great about finding a penny?" She asked.
"You can't buy anything with it."
"Yes you can." he said.
"You can buy a dream in a wishing well."



~~ Pete was suffering from impotence, so he went to see a specialist.
The doctor gave him a prescription that he was to take faithfully three
times a day, and always with food.
A couple of days later, the man was at a formal banquet and didn't
want any of the other guests to spot and possibly identify his pink
and purple capsule of medication.
So, he instructed the waiter to empty the capsule into his soup,
thinking he could eat his soup openly with everyone else,
take his medication, and preserve his privacy all at the same time.
However, when the soup was served everyone received a bowl
of it but the man, who began feeling conspicuous and angry.
He confronted the waiter and asked why he hadn't been served his
'special' soup.
"Well sir, I poured your medication into your bowl as instructed.
Since then, I have been waiting for the noodles to lie down."



~~ Ruby watched her husband play tennis and told a friend.
"He's getting in shape.
He doesn't turn purple until the second set now!"



~~ We took our two small kids to the zoo for the day.
Instead of hauling a picnic lunch along with us, we decided
we'd eat at one of the popular chain restaurants located
in the zoo.
After a hot afternoon of carrying one child half the time and trying
to keep the other in the stroller,
we thought we'd done our duty, having seen every animal in
the place.
As we walked across the parking to the car,
we asked three-year-old Amber,
"Well, what did you like best about the zoo?"
"The fries," she replied.



~~ My kids have never been thrilled about naps,
but one day they were putting up more of a fuss than usual.
In the middle of the tantrums, a friend called.
"What's all the commotion?" she asked.
"Nothing," I said. "Just the siesta résistance."



~~ Groan......
A man walks into a bar with a little salamander-looking creature in his hand.
The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.
"Tiny," replies the man.
"Why's that?" asks the bartender.
"Because he's my newt!"



~~ Doctors meeting
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention.
Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together.
One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us
with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can
go to when we have problems."
The others agreed.
Then one said, "Since we are all professionals,
 why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed,
"I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."
The second psychiatrist said, "
I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients
out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."
The third followed with,
"I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to
sell them for me."
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed,
"I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try,
I can't keep a secret..."



~~ Football is a game in which eleven men spend hours trying
to move a small object a hundred yards.
It's the same as the post office!



~~ Baseball is designed to break your heart.
The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again,
and it blossoms in the summer,
filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill
rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.



~~ TEACHER: What's the best way to pass the geometry test?
BUZZ: Knowing all the angles?



~~ A woman's car had stalled in the middle lane of one of the
city's busiest roads, and the traffic zoomed past her.
My mom pulled our car over to the side to see if there was
any way she could help.
"Oh, yes, please!" the woman said, "My car has stalled and I
can't get it to start again!"
Mom got into the passenger side, pushed the gearshift into park
and told the woman to try to start the car again.
"Thank you so much!" the woman said and drove off.
Mom was gratified to have helped someone in need -
until she realized she'd left her own car keys on the seat of the
woman's car.



Todays Thought:  "Be yourself because everyone else is taken!"






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Monday, June 21, 2010


Good Morning, Friends and Neighbors.....
Hot, Yesterday, and all the rest of the week...
Scotiagold....is it warm up your way?

Going to be another hot, sunny day.....
This mornings sunrise....

Breakfast??
Rather have bacon....mmmm

Looks like he's had a few good meals.....!
He's a big one......

We an't no hound dog........

The kiddies have gotta play....!

What! you let them get away??

I guess this tells my age?

Tricky Dick sez; Read Gus's BLOG....!

Eno stays in trouble......But I like him.....
He's cool....

Okay, Okay...I'll leave now....!
♥♥♥

~~ In a department store, a difficult customer and a very

patient clerk were having a hard time getting together.
Nothing the clerk provided was suitable.
Finally, the finicky shopper said in annoyance, "Can't you find
a smarter clerk to serve me?"
"No," said the saleswoman.
"The smarter clerk saw you coming and disappeared.”



~~ Boudreaux and Thibodeaux was workin' for da BP and dey
tole' em to git in dere pirogues (boat) and for to go out to dat
island and start cleaning birds...
Well Boudreaux and Thibodeaux didn't git herd from in a
bunch of time so da BP sens out a supervixor to check on da
boys...
Well ya just know dat dem two had plucked, gutted and cut da
heads off'n 50 or 60 birds befo' dey was tole what 'clean
dem birds means' .. Dey was sure cleanin' da birds... Southern Style.



~~ A little girl was in church with her mother when she
started to feel ill.
"Mommy," she said: "Can we leave now?"
"No," her mother replied.
"Well, I think I'm gonna be sick, Momma!"
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the
church and then behind a bush."
After about 60 seconds, the little girl returned to her seat.
"Were you sick?" her mom asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the
church and returned so quickly?" her mother asked.
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy.
They have a box next to the front door that says,
'For the sick.'"



~~ A college professor had the mysterious habit of removing
a tennis ball from his jacket pocket as he walked into the
lecture hall each morning.
He would set it on the corner of the podium.
After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick
up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the
room.
No one ever understood why he did this, until one day ...
A student fell asleep during the lecture.
The professor didn't miss a word of his lecture while he
walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball, and threw
it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.
The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into
his jacket, removed a baseball ...
No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!



~~ The director laid out the scene for the hero, saying,
"All right, John.
You are coming down the road in the stagecoach.
Suddenly, you're attacked by Indians.
Start shooting.
A dozen Indians will fall each time you pull the trigger,
but don't act surprised."
Off to the side stood a contingent of Indians.
They were disgruntled because of the anti-Indian slant
of the movie, of which they hadn't been aware when they
signed to work in the movie.
The camera crew took positions, the actors were cued,
and the shooting started.
The hero came barreling along in the stagecoach.
The Indians came at him, but decided to attack for real.
When the hero whipped out his gun and started to shoot,
not one Indian fell.
As they neared him, the hero yelled to the director,
"They're not falling."
The director yelled back, "Now you can act surprised!"




~~ During the first week of school a first-grade teacher
was lecturing her young students on safety.
She asked if they knew what the colors of the traffic lights meant.
"I know," replied one little girl.
"Red means stop.
Green means go.
Yellow means go a little faster."



~~ My husband came down with a nasty cold, and I gave him
some orange-flavoured sample tablets we'd received in the
mail. "Take these," I told him. "They're chewable."
Seconds later, bubbles started fizzing past his lips. I retrieved
the sample package so I could read the directions.
Step No. 1 read: "Dissolve completely in water."


~~ Two buddies and I had long been planning a fishing trip.
At last we were motoring out of the bay, while our wives were
back on shore shopping.
"Just think,"Pete commented, "while we're going out the inlet,
the girls are going in the outlets.

☼"

~~ My kids have never been thrilled about naps,
but one day they were putting up more of a fuss than usual.
In the middle of the tantrums, a friend called.
"What's all the commotion?" she asked.
"Nothing," I said. "Just the siesta résistance."



~~ Doctors meeting
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention.
Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together.
One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us
with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can
go to when we have problems."
The others agreed.
Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we
take some time right now to hear each other out?"
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to
kill my patients."
The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I
find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I
can so I can buy the things I want."
The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and
often get my patients to sell them for me."
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not
supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a
secret..."


Todays Thought:   Let our advance worrying become advance
thinking and planning ....




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Sunday, June 20, 2010




Happy Fathers day, to all, The guys out there!
Well, gonna be a hot one, and here I am
getting the sicknest back....

Isn't this a nice greene county farm......

Hey, Hey Dogs don't booze....
I hope that's tea....
Ha-Ha, I gots your stuff........

Hey, Bubba....That's a funny looking cap......

Hitch hicker??

A  whole lotta stew there...huh...Pete....

R2D2 cat? Does not compute!...

He's saying....What the......................!

Old Skippy don't want it too.....Can you tell?

Well time to hobble down the road......
♥♥♥
~~ My daughter, Ree, and her family were invited to an Italian-
themed dinner party, and Ree was asked to bring the dessert.

She is not a big dessert eater and, as a working mother,
did not have the time to make something to feed 20 people.
To overcome this problem, Ree bought a large cake and had the store
write MADE IN ITALY in icing.



~~ The 10 Best Caddy Replies;
# 10 -- Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

# 9 -- Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on
this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

# 8 -- Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

# 7 -- Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

# 6 -- Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
 Caddy: "I don't think so sir.
That would be too much of a coincidence."

# 5 -- Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time.
It's too much of A distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

# 4 -- Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

# 3 -- Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

# 2 -- Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course.
We left that an hour ago."

# 1 -- Best Caddy Comment Golfer: "That can't be my ball,
it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."



~~ I was always told....Behind every successful man is a wife who
takes much of the credit and a government that takes much of the cash.



~~ Nelson told me; "I always look for a woman who has
a tattoo.
I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay,
here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll
regret in the future."



~~ The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on
emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to
the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," said she.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas,
"how about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."



~~ CUSTOMER: Waiter, there's a fly in my chop suey.
WAITER: That's nothing. Wait'll you see what's in your fortune cookie.



~~ The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health
and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked,
"How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming
at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably
 the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered,
"A basketball coach?"



~~ CUSTOMER: Waiter, there's a fly in my chop suey.
WAITER: That's nothing.
Wait'll you see what's in your fortune cookie.


Todays Thought;  "They always say that time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself."





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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Good Morning, Friends and Neighbors.....
Going to be a nice-hot weekend....
Fathers Day....95º degrees....

Breakfast? no thanks...
I'm in to Eggs and Bacon...


He likes peanuts...mine don't...
They like sunflower seeds and dry cat food..

I'm sorry...Okay?
Damn squirrels are picky...

A hug is always good...

He can't believe what he's seeing......

I guess he don't like Squirrels ether!
But he looks evil....

Yes, but a real friend to grow up with....!

This is one reason no to pass
chain mail along...

Now...this is a good send off.....
but you gotta have money....

♥♥♥

~~ A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phony $18 bills would be in some small "hick town."......like R-ville..... 

So, he got into his very expensive new luxury car and off he went.
After driving for a while, he found a tiny town with a single store.
He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man
behind the counter.
"Can you change this for me, please?" he asked.
The store clerk looked at the $18 bill for a short time, then smiled
and said to the man, "Ah reckon so, mister.
Ya want two nines or three sixes?"



~~ Pete: What happens when you feed lemons to a cat?
Gus: I can't guess.
Pete: You get a sour puss.



~~ The Greene county ball team...
On our team, we got very few hits.
If anybody reached first base, he had to stop and ask for directions.



~~ Q: Who was the greatest male financier in the Bible?
A: Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone else was
in iquidation.



~~ The witness said he'd heard two shots.
The attorney asked him how far apart the shots had been.
The witness slapped his hands together twice to indicate an
interval of a tenth of a second.
The attorney asked, "Where were you when you heard the
first shot?"
The witness said, "I was in my hotel room next door."
"Where were you when the second shot was fired?"
"Under the bed..."



~~ "There's always one of my friends who watches a boxing match
with me and says, "Sure.
Ten million dollars.........
You know, for that kind of money, I'd fight him."
As if someone is going to pay $200 a ticket to see a 57-year-old
carpet salesman get hit in the face once and cry.



~~ It was the middle of a championship game, and Kaspovsky
was studying the chess board.
All of a sudden his opponent Nevsky, sneezed.
"Bless you," said Kaspovsky.
Nevsky looked up angrily. "Did you come here to play or to talk?"



~~ Two Siamese Twins walk into a bar and the bartender knows them,
and after serving the beers asks them where
they are going on vacation.
Syd replies that they are going to London like they do every year.
The bartender replies, "Every year?"
Syd replies, "It the only chance Jim gets to drive."



~~ TOURIST: A nice man just sold me the city of Cairo.
GUIDE: Egypt you!!!




~~ TEACHER: Larry, you forgot the dot over the i.
LARRY: I didn't forget........ It's still in the pencil.



Todays thought:  The closest distance between two people is a good laugh......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now Before I go, I just want to tell the spammer....
you are wasteing your time....stupid!
All comments go through me before their posted for an O.K......
Haven't you noticed yet??  Have a good day.....





















Friday, June 18, 2010

# 970

Good Morning, Neighbors.....Another hot day......
Gonna be real hot this weekend.....


An't this a great picture?
You don't get many like this....
I don't know who took it....

An old hillside farm off rt. 33

I don't blame ya!!

I'm not a happy camper....sorry!

A hot Rod driver....stand clear....

Okay, Okay, you can have the next ride.......

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm talking to you.....

Time for a "Bud" Lite....at the bar...▼

The Bar......
☼☼
♥♥♥
~~ BP claims they have a containment system for the leaking oil.
Their containment system is called the "Gulf of Mexico."


~~ Friday Morning Puns.......................
*When she saw her first gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
*A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
*Freudian slip. When you say one thing and mean your mother.
*A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


~~ I was a five-letter man my first year in college and the
letters were F-L-U-N-K.


~~ Two young boys were spending the night at their
grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their
prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of
his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother
and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers?
God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"


~~ WAITRESS: Have I kept you waiting long?
CUSTOMER: No, but did you know that there are 3,479 rose
patterns on your wallpaper?


~~ Hillary Clinton passed out teddy bears to children during
her trip to China last week.
That was a nice break for the children from their job of
making teddy bears.


~~ What Did the Ceiling Say to the 4 Walls?
Hold me up boys, I'm plastered.
Groan.........


~~ Early in the summer, our three-year-old daughter,
Elizabeth, was invited by our next-door neighbors to play with
their four-year- old son, Charles in his new kiddie swimming
pool.
I put Elizabeth's bathing suit on her, and off she went.
A few minutes later, she arrived at our doorstep without any
clothes on.
I was surprised to see her return so soon and asked her why
she had taken off her bathing suit.
"It got wet!" Elizabeth replied.


~~ The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human
being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind!


~~ A lawyer was reading out the will of-a-rich-man
to the people mentioned in the will:
"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times,
as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million."
The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked
after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her
the yacht, the business and $1 million."
The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me,
argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him
in my will - well you are wrong......... Hi Dan!"


~~ Do you know the difference between a beautiful woman

and a charming one?
A beauty is a woman you notice, a charmer is one who notices
you.



Todays Thought:  "A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always

depend on the support of Paul."







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