Good Morning, everyone...

Getting an early start this morning.....

Another Docs appointment early this morning...

Could not get any friend help me drink the clean out

kool-aid, so I had to drink it all....awwww

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Monticello Mt. in the back ground.....

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A pretty "Lady Barbara" rose...don't ya think?

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"Taz" sez he's cute.... watch them claws.....

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What beadie eyes you have.......

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Make sure you get them all........

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Bath time huh?

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He wants to be next.......

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Oh, no....no that......

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What can I say?

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I gotta leave on this one......

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♥♥♥

~~ The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him,
"that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."
"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"

☼

~~ I have been thinking about buying a new Porsche lately and I
happened to say on facebook that I was looking forward to the new 911...
Now i got 3000 Muslims looking to add me !!!!! and probably homeland
security doing a background check on me.

☼

~~ A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments,
so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God,
a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close.
They ignored him.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most
vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if
they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so; thereby proving that...
only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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~~ My friend Kelli's five-year-old son, Morgan, had been scolded for
fibbing and blaming his brother, Mack for things Mack did not do.
Afterwards the boys returned to the backard to play.
About ten minutes later, we heard sobbing cries from outside,
Kelli and I raced to Morgan's side, worried he had been hurt.
"Morgan! What's wrong?" Kelli asked.
"Nothing!" he wailed.
"This time, I'm crying to get what I want."

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~~ moving a computer
1. Bone up on your cursing. You will need it later.
2. Pick a *good* spot to locate your computer.
Don't be too picky; you will regret having started on this venture soon
enough.
3. Disconnect all cables, cords, power sources, umbilical cords and
plumbing.
Look at the black, gray & white spaghetti mess on the floor and sob.
Refer to number 1.
While you're at it, it helps to focus on cursing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs
for making all this possible.
4. Be sure to dust machine off, since it's been sitting for months in one
spot, gathering a dust mound the size of Mt. Rainier.
This is especially essential if you have asthma.
5. Now that you've picked a *good* spot, it's time to replace all the
cables, cords, etc.
Make sure it's in a dark, hard-to-reach location.
6. New computers have color-coded plugs and plugins to make
assembly easier.
This has no bearing on you since your computer is in a dark,
hard-to-reach location and they're all the same color: gray.
See number 1.
7. Get a flashlight.
Look for new batteries for flashlight you've left in the junk drawer for
months.
Go to store to buy new flashlight batteries since you don't have any.
Rule number 1 is coming in handy now.
8. While inserting various cords and cables, be sure to drop at least one
on the floor behind the desk, where it will take a contortionist to retrieve it.
9. Find out that your printer cable is now not long enough to reach the
computer (see number 1).
Oh well, you didn't use it that much anyway.
10. Once you have all the cables, etc. back in place, turn computer back
on.
11. Sit, puzzled why computer isn't working.
12. Plug monitor in.
13. Ponder why keyboard and mouse don't work.
14. Switch keyboard and mouse plugins.
15. Call spouse in to admire your handiwork.
16. Spouse informs you that he/she liked it better where it was,
and to move it back.

☼

~~ Recently, I brought my six-year-old granddaughter, Brooke,
with me on my trip to the recycling yard to dispose of a lawnmower and
some other metal.
There, we wandered around among the hundreds of cars that were
waiting to be crushed.
Most of them were missing parts, which had been removed for reuse
in other cars.
Brooke said to me, "Poppa"
"Yes Brooke," I replied.
"I'm not buying my first car here."
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Todays Thought:  We are middle-aged when we have that morning-after feeling

without the night before.

Well, I'm off to see the rooter man..........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☺~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning, Friends.....

Early today as have doc's appointment early.....

Same as tomorrow morning.....

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First cutting of the season.......

Hopefully he'll get three the summer.....

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Pie for breakfast??......

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He's gotten away....no breakfast this morning.....

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Yep....you square!....

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Ouch!!

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You watch that sucker.....Little Bubba!

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On the Kat channel.......

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Okay......

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Someone's gonna feel like a fool......

Showing off does that...

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Someone likes my postings.....

sent me a medal......but why the Donkeys butt?

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♥♥♥

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~~ Conducting a survay, a TV news reporter asked a man in the street,

"Do you support GM food?"
The man said: "Not really. I think they should stick to making cars."

☼

~~ At the funeral of Harry Houdini, producers Charles Dillingham and
Florenz Ziegfeld were among the pallbearers.
As they carried out the great escape artist's coffin,
Dillingham whispered to Ziegfeld, "I bet you, Ziggie,
a hundred bucks that Houdini ain't inside this."

☼

~~ A mother was perturbed to find her son eating out of the sugar bowl.
"Don't let me catch you doing that again," she scolded her son.
The boy was willing but doubtful if he could comply.
"I will try, Mommy," the son informed his mother,
"But you walk so quiet sometimes!"

☼

~~ Obituary - Someone Else"
Our church was saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our
most valued members,..... Someone Else.
Someone's passing creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill.
Else has been with us for many years and for every one of those years,
Someone did far more than a normal person's share of the work.
Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend,
one name was on everyone's list, "Let Someone Else do it."
Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked
to for inspiration as well as results;
"Someone Else can work with that group."
It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the most
liberal givers in our church.
Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed
Someone Else would make up the difference.
Someone Else was a wonderful person;
sometimes appearing superhuman.
Were the truth known, everybody expected too much of Someone Else.
Now Someone Else is gone!
We wonder what we are going to do.
Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow,
but who is going to follow it?
Who is going to do the things Someone Else did?
When you are asked to help this year, remember -
we can't depend on Someone Else anymore.

☼

~~ My father-in-law had prostate surgery.
We brought him to the hospital at 7:30 a.m., and he was operated on
at eight.
We were amazed when the hospital called at noon to tell us he could go
home.
Two months later our beagle, Bo, also had prostate surgery.
When I brought him in, I asked the veterinarian what time I should pick
him up.
The vet told me Bo would remain overnight.
"Overnight?" I said."My father-in-law came home the same day."
The vet looked at me and said, "Bo's not on Medicare!"

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~~ One day at my job as a bank teller, I was crouched down under
the till, putting some money away,
so the customer waiting at my wicket didn't realize I was there.
I must have startled him when I stood up, because he said,
"Wow! That's what I call an instant teller!"

☼
~~ The doctor was reviewing, some results from a routine blood test
with me during my checkup, then he took my blood pressure.
"Were you in a hurry this morning?" he asked.
Contemplating the worst, I replied, "No, as a matter of fact,
I sat quietly in the waiting room, very relaxed and reading.
Why? Is my blood pressure off the scales?"
"No," replied the doctor,"your camisole is on inside out."

☼

~~ My son, Jared, awoke in the night with a cramp in his leg.
I explained to him that it was a growing pain and commented that it
was funny that only one leg was "growing."
I rubbed his sore leg and he soon went back to sleep.
In the morning, when Jared came downstairs, he told me that his leg
was feeling better.
"I don't get it." he said.
"I stood in front of the mirror and compared my legs,
but I don't see any difference."


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Today's Thought:  When painting a ceiling, a good rule of thumb is
that there should be at least as much paint on the ceiling as there
is in one's hair.

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# 945

Good Morning..Friends and readers....
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Not a Good Breakfast.......

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Beef  ice cream is not ether......

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Tuna flavor??

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Boy....They are happy.......

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Dogs not going to let them in for breakfast....

They'll get even...Dog.

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There went their breakfast......

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What can I say..?

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Time to leave on this pic......

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♥♥♥

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~~ At a sidewalk cafe in Paris, Gus ordered cocktails for his wife

and sister and just some water for himself.
Later he wanted to order another round of drinks.
He signaled the server and said, "The ladies will have another martini,
and I'll have more of the Seine."

☼

~~ You need to be careful when writing comments,"
our principal told the faculty.
He held a report card for a Susan Crabbe.
A colleague had written, "Susan is beginning to come out of her shell."

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~~ Man on the phone: I'm sorry Mom, but one of the stipulations of
my new long-distance calling service is that I'm not allowed to talk
about why I'm still single and stuck in a dead end job."

☼

~~ If a man runs after money, he's money-mad; if he keeps it,
he's a capitalist; if he spends it, he's a playboy, if he doesn't try to get it,
he lacks ambition; if he accumulates it after a lifetime of hard work,
people call him a fool who never got anything out of life.

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~~ Q: Where does a gardener keep his money?
A: In a savings and lawn!

☼

~~ Two friends went out to dinner.
They were reading through the menu when one friend remarked to the
other that scientists say we are what we eat.
The other friend replied, "I don't know if that's true,
but let's err on the side of caution and order something rich!"

☼

~~ A man looking for a job went to his local Employment Service at
lunchtime only to see a sign on the door saying,
CLOSED DUE TO STAFF SHORTAGE.

☼

~~ All Americans know how to "play" music, the radio, TV, stereos,
tape recorders.
Presidents are not expected to "play" better music than their
constituents.
When Grant was president, he confessed he knew two tunes:
"One is Yankee Doodle and the other one ain't."

☼

~~ My wife and I took our two eldest grandkids with us when we went
shopping for a new hot tub.
Dakota, our seven-year old granddaughter, took this shopping task
very seriously.
After looking inside many hot tubs, she said, "Nanny,
I don't think any of these comes with water."

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☼
Todays Thought:  Our new faster-than-sound jet planes are wonderful.

You can eat dinner in Rome and get indigestion in New York City.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~►◄~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning....Friends and neighbors....

we're having a great weekend.

not too hot....just right.....

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Like I said....a great weekend.

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I don't know about these.....

I mean I like eggs over light sandwiches. for breakfast.

Would be messy...also toasted??

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I guess she liked the flowers?

I know "Witchy" likes flowers......

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Watch out behind you!!

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Does your Mama know??

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Watch the nose please.....

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"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and quick to anger"

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That's right......

Some people forget.......

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He's trying.....

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He's cool........

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♥♥♥

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~~ When I moved to R-ville, I went to retrieve some boxes that I had

sent to myself in care of the local bus depot.
And that first time I walked into the bus depot,
I found out what small towns were like.
"Your boxes are over there," the clerk said.
"How do you know who I am?" I asked.
"We all know who you are," he replied.

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~~ Painted sign over IRS door: "Happiness is giving."

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~~ Obama signed a bill the other day limiting rice import to only
puffed rice, Due to massive inflation.
Joe Biden said : Boss thats a great Idea ,That should keep us afloat
for a long time...

☼
~~ A man mentioned his slumping business:
"If it gets any worse, I won't have to lie on my income tax returns."

☼
~~ American engineers have been scrambling because the auto
industry is hurting and gas prices keep fluctuating.
In research they found that if you place the gas tank in the front of
the car, not only does it get better gas mileage,
but it handles better as well.
So they built over 1000 of these new cars, but in crash-testing they
found the things would explode on impact!
Money is too tight to scrap them all, so they are shipping them to
the Middle East...The model is called the Jeep Jihad.


☼
~~ ”Doody Strategy”
A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet.
His mother thinks he has been in there too long,
so she goes in to see what's up.
The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book.
But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down,
grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of
the head with his right hand.
His mother says, "Billy, are you all right?
You've been in there for a while."
Billy says, "I'm fine, Mommy.
I just haven't gone doody yet."
Mother says, "Okay, you can stay in there a few more minutes,
but Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says, "Works for ketchup!"

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~~ Two old ladies in church
One leans over to the other and says, "I think my butt is asleep."
The other replies, "Yeah, I could hear it snoring a few minutes ago."

☼
~~ Motherhood is not for everyone, but society thinks if you don't have
children, you've failed as a woman, even if you are CEO of a company.
You've got to be beautiful, smart, skinny, tall, rich, successful at your job,
married to the right guy and have genius children.

☼
~~ As a salesperson at my company, I do a lot of business over the
phone.
One man who called to place an order had a nice voice, so when he
asked if I wanted his number,
I took the opportunity and asked if he wanted mine as well.
"Um..." he replied, "I was talking about my purchase-order number."


☼
~~ My husband, a deputy district attorney, was teaching an antidrug
class to a group of Cub Scouts.
When he asked if anyone could list the gateway drugs,
one Scout had the answer: "Cigarettes, beer, and marinara."

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☼
Todays Thought:  It's one thing to feel you are on the right path,

but it's another to think that yours is the only path.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning,,,,friends, and readers.... Another nice weekend......
Hope your having on too...We're going to have to send
some Sunshine to our friends in "Wales"....
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I don't know if I would do that!

It might not like that......

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Hey, Bubba....That's not Santa......

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He's hoping everything turns out, O.K.

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He can't believe his eyes.....Biggest critter he has seen!

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Better to melt critters with......

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They are ready to run or fly.......he an't catching them.....

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She's packed her lunch...just in case......

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Somebuddy's good with a chainsaw.......

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Oh No, not that......Okay, Okay, here's a twenty!!

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♥♥♥

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                                                                                                                                                                             ~~ I was out to dinner with a friend and we ended up talking for a while with our waitress.

She was one of those waitresses who was such a pleasure that she
made the whole dining experience that much more enjoyable.
She told us about how she was working two jobs and trying to put
herself through school at night.
It was not a very expensive restaurant, and I think our total was less
then $20.
But when we paid, we left her a $100 tip.
What a great feeling.

☺

~~ As Sue and Jon ate lunch with their sons at their favorite seafood
restaurant, the waitress brought four-year-old James and six-year-old
Nathan lobster bibs to wear.
Nathan politely said, "Thank you" to the waitress.
Seeing pictures of lobsters on his bib, James shouted for all the
restaurant patrons to hear, "I've got crabs!"

☼

~~ Teacher: "Stanley, every day since school began you have been late. Why?"
Stanley: "It's not my fault! There's a sign at almost every crossing that
says, 'go slow!'"

☼

~~ A teacher was walking along the school corridor when he saw
three boys peeing up against a wall of the science block.
"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.
"We've having a contest, sir.
Whoever can pee the highest gets $10.00"
In a rage, the teacher rushed straight to the principal.
"Mr Grimes," he said, I've just stumbled across three boys urinating
up the wall of the science block.
Apparently whoever could get the highest would win $10.00."
"So what did you do?" asked the principal.
"I hit the roof!"
"Cool! Did you get your money?"

☼

~~ The National Institutes of Health have announced
that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation.
In their place, they will use attorneys.
They have given three reasons for this decision:
1. There are now more attorneys than there are
rats.
2. The medical researchers don't become as
emotionally attached to the attorneys as they
did to the rats.
3. No matter how hard you try, there are some
things that rats won't do.

☼

~~ Quickies.....
Q: Why is perfume so obedient?
A: Because it's scent everywhere it goes.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

☼

~~ A meter reader succeeded in getting past a vicious dog that was
on a very long chain.
Later, he was asked by his superior,
"How were you able to get past that watchdog?
The customer is curious."
"It was easy, boss," the meter reader replied.
"I just parked on his chain."

☼

~~ My boyfriend, Daniel, gave me a dozen roses on my birthday,
and on the card he wrote: I'll love you until the last rose fades away.
Among the eleven real roses, he had added a fake 12th one.
The next day, he gave me another plastic rose, and the week after,
another one.
"So I guess that's the last one," I said.
He looked at me and asked how I knew.
"Well," I replied, "the tag on the second rose you gave me said:
3 for 99 cents."

☼

~~ Returning from a shopping trip with my five-year-old son,
I kept him occupied on the drive home by letting him count the money
in my wallet.
He had no trouble adding up my five, tens and twenties.
But then he got to my credit card and his counting came to a halt.
Puzzled, he thought for a moment, then said, "infinity"

☼

~~ Medical News....
Bet you didn't know this: Try it!!
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects
the eyeball to the anus?
It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people
a shitty outlook on life.
If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't
bring a tear to your eye.

☼

~~ Doctor: "I have some good news and some bad news,
which do you want first?"
Patient: "Give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "We amputated the wrong leg."
Patient: "What is the good news?"
Doctor: "Your other leg won't need to be amputated after all."

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Todays Thought:  There can be no peace if the things we believe in are different from

the things we do.

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