Good Morning, Everyone.....Is everyone having a good day?
Alot going on in town.......Hope it don't rain them out......
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These guys waiting for breakfast......

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High fives??

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It's gotta be hard......

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Maybe give them a massage??

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Ya gotta watch them penguins.....

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Wow....you look like the dog worked you over....

or did you drink too much?

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You didn't drink all of granny's stash, did you??

She's gunning for ya.....

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Poop too.......

What can you say??

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Looks cold too.....dummys.......

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I thought I smelled somthin......gotta go.....

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♥♥♥

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~~ Sam was telling his friend Gus,about the cruise he had taken.

He said that the cabin on the ship was nice,
but the washing machine on the wall was terrible.
"That was a porthole," his friend explained to him.
"I see," said Sam.
"No wonder I never got my clothes back."

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~~ An agriculture student said to Pete: “Your methods are too old
fashioned.
I won’t be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of
apples.”
“I won’t be surprised either,” said Pete, “this is an Plum tree”.

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~~ How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste................
String cheese works well, too.

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~~ If you've travelled Ryan Air...
Let’s spare a thought for Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair.
Arriving in a hotel in Dublin he went to the bar and asked for a pint of
Guinness.
The barman nodded and said “that will be one Euro please,
Mr. O’Leary,”
to which Michael replied “that’s a very competitive price”
and handed over his money.
“Will you be wanting a glass with your Guinness, sir?”
enquired the barman...

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~~ On a drive in the country, a city slicker noticed Pete the farmer lifting
a pig up to an apple tree and holding the pig there as it ate one apple
after another.
“Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about,” said the city slicker,
“but if you just shook the tree so the apples fell to the ground,
wouldn’t it save a lot of time?”
“Time?” said Pete......... “What does time matter to a pig?”

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~~ Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one hundred
dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to the young woman in accounting who suggested
limiting future bonuses to ten dollars.

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~~ The election isn't very far off when a candidate can recognize
you across the street.

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~~ The tiresome jury selection process continued, each side hotly
contesting and dismissing potential jurors.
John was called for his question session.
"Property holder?"
"Yes, I am, Your Honor."
"Married or single?"
"Married for years, Your Honor."
"Formed or expressed an opinion?"
"Not in many years, Your Honor."

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Todays Thought:  "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in
moments of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of challenge
and controversy." - Martin Luther King Jr.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Good Morning, Friends and the Guy over the mountain.....
Another nice day......Pete....has your Parrot got home yet?
Maybe them up drafts got him off track??
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Well, things are greening up pretty good now....

We're waiting on the Hummingbirds to arrive any time now....

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I guess he's got his breakfast, lunch and dinner......

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I bet it does....til one of them big beetles hit that nose.....

One hit my elbow one time....boy did that hurt....

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Oh, noes......

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Yep, you heard right....now bend brown......

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Cute........

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Driving near Kirkjubaejarklaustur, Iceland, through the ash from the volcano

eruption under the Eyjafjallajokull glacier....

I bet that's hard on cars too.....

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She needs some of that dust for her dust bath....

That'll kill them fleas.....

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What can you say??

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Well, I'm loaded, so i'll just go on, now!

Have a great day.....

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♥♥♥

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~~ Ponder this:

* In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word!
* A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans!

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~~ You know you've spent too much money on your summer vacation
when the balance in your savings account is lower than your sunscreen
number.

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~~ It was time for Pete's annual checkup.
Following the instructions, He collected a stool sample and dropped
it in a plastic container before he left for his Doctors office.
When he arrived, he handed the sample to the receptionist who
immediately cracked a smile.
The container read "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

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~~ My 45-year-old sister was attending the wedding of a childhood
friend when she ran into people she hadn't seen in years.
How long exactly?
One of them shouted, "Kathy, you got your braces off!"

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~~ A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later, there’s a knock on the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

☺
~~ With modern transportation today, it's almost impossible to have
any distant relatives.

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~~ I just got fired on my first day working at the stables......
It turns out my experience grooming young Fillys was not what they
expected.

☺
~~ a man walks into a bar and orders a beer, he looks around, admiring
the room and he soon notices that there are big lumps of meat hanging
on the ceiling.
He then says to the bartender, "why have you got all this meat hanging
around?
the barman says, "it's a little bet that we're running.
If you can jump up and grab a bit of meat in your mouth then you can
have all of your drinks on the house.
If you fail then you have to buy everyone else in the bar a drink.
Are you going to have a go?
The man shakes his head and says to the bartender,
"no way, the stakes are too high."


☺
~~ A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog.
Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a
Baptist.
They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs.
Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just
the dog they wanted.
The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife..
'Fetch the Bible,' he commanded.
The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books,
located the Bible, and brought it to the owner.
'Now find Psalm 23,' he commanded.
The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous
dexterity with his paws, leafed through, and finding the correct passage,
pointed to it with his paw.
The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog.
That evening, a group of church members came to visit.
The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog,
having him locate several Bible verses.
The visitors were very impressed.
One man asked, 'Can he do regular dog tricks, too?'
'I haven't tried yet,' the pastor replied.
He pointed his finger at the dog....... 'HEEL!' the pastor commanded.
The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's
forehead and began to howl.
The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said,
'Good Lord, he's Pentecostal!

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Todays thought:  The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.

~ John F Kennedy








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Good Morning, friends and neighbors....... A little foggy this morning....
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This Mornings Sunrise......gonna be warm....

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What ya got for breakfast??

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Thirsty??

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Pant's on the ground!!   looks stupid....

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Is he a fattie??

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Jellybean toes?? that's a first for me........

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There's already 4 guys looking....

One is "Cennie"

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Smile! he's gonna take your picture.....

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Yeah, no more.......right.

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Well, time I left...youall be careful.....

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♥♥♥

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~~ Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my

wife's voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner?...... Chicken, beef or lamb?"
I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
She yelled "You're having whatever leftovers you can find asshole,
I was talking to the cat.

☺
~~ This morning I went to sign my Dogs up for welfare.
At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".
So I explained to her that my Dogs are mixed in color, unemployed,
lazy, can't speak English and have no clue who their Daddys are.
They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical
care, and feel guilty because they are dogs.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My Dogs get their first checks Friday.

☺
~~ The teacher told my son, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
He said, "What do you got for cops?"

☺
~~ Harvey, worked for 27 years as a driver for a bus company in
Vancouver.
One morning while doing his run downtown, he came upon a horrible
crash.
A vehicle had smashed into a telephone pole, and it was a terrible sight.
Since Harvey had training as a paramedic, he took charge,
stopped the bus and asked someone to phone 911.
He ran over to see what he could do, when all of a sudden a man
waving a clipboard came running down the street, yelling,
"Do you mind?........ We're shooting a movie here!"

☺
~~ "I had an operation and the doctor left a sponge in me."
"Got any pain?"
"No, but, boy, do I get thirsty!"

☺
~~ With our 25th wedding anniversary approaching I told the wife to
pack as I WAS taking her to China to celebrate.
She said "WoW, that's got to cost a ton.
I can't wait to see what happen on our 50th."
"Oh," I said " that's when I'll come to pick you up"

☺
~~ Try as I might, I just couldn't get in sync with my insurance customer.
When I asked if he lived in the Eastern or Central time zone,
he answered, "We're normal time."
Not sure what that meant, I continued.
"Let me put it this way: Is it 10:45 where you are?"
"No," he said. "It's 10:46."

☺
~~ While ferrying workers back and forth from our offshore oil rig,
the helicopter I was on lost power and went down.
Fortunately, it landed safely in a lake.
Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest
and jerked open the exit door.
"Don't jump!" the pilot called out.
"This thing is supposed to float!"
As the man leapt from the helicopter into the lake, he yelled back,
"Yeah, and it's supposed to fly too!"

☺
~~ A true story during a Lamaze class...
the nurse-practitioner was discussing proper nutrition during pregnancy.
A young lady [blonde] asked if Fruit Loops counted as a serving of
fruits/vegetables?.......... And she was serious.
(sorry Taz)

☺
☺
Today's Thought:  A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

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Hey....everyone, we're getting light rain today...
gotta be good for the gardens....
I'm dieing for a good homegrown tomato......
☺

Kinda pale this morning...??

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He hasn't used the other 8 yet.....

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Yep...She's going to be a dog lover.....

I can tell from here......

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Now, I wonder where that cat went??

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Hey, Pete....Waynesboro rest stop??

That's cool......

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Free ride......

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Cool looking dude....He's mean when he's drinking.....

beware....

☺

We won't eat you......

☺

Yep, he's owned......That's what you get for showing off!

☺

Pete, wanna buy a Hummer? Cheap, and not many miles...

Owned by an Amish farmer...

Let you have it cheap.....

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♥♥♥

☺

~~ One morning, I was roaming the aisles of my local supermarket,

looking for items on my shopping list and wondering why the graham
crackers aren't ever put in the cracker section.
In my futile search, I kept running into a guy I'd never seen before.
He was wandering up and down the aisles, with an equally lost look
on his face.
Somewhere between the pasta and sauces, he looked up at me and
said, "I can't find a darned thing in this store!"
I knew how he felt, so I asked, "What is it you're looking for?"
"My wife."

☺

~~ When I asked my friend if she was planning to attend church,
she just shook her head.
"I haven't gone in a long time," she said.
"Besides, it's too late for me.
I've probably already broken all seven commandments."

☺

~~ While on maneuvers, we came upon a stranded Humvee under the
command of a lieutenant.
The officer was gone, but his driver told us the engine had quit on them.
We took a look and determined they'd run out of gas.
"Where's the lieutenant?" I asked.
The driver responded, "He drove off to get help in the fuel truck that
was following us."

☺

~~ After giving birth, Ree quit her job.
The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you
from leaving?"
Her answer: "Birth control."

☺

~~ dialed a wrong number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

☺

~~ Having just graduated from college, Susan was looking forward to
her first day on the job as a market researcher.
However, she quit after doing her first interview.
Asked whether he thought ignorance and apathy were the greatest
problems facing the world today, her subject shrugged and answered,
"I don't know and I don't care."

☺

~~ Whenever someone says, "I'm not book-smart;
I'm street-smart,"
all I hear is "I'm not real smart; I'm imaginary smart."

☺

~~ Pete wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:
Tester: "If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another
two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?"
Pete replied, "SEVEN!"
Tester: "No, listen carefully again.
If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits,
how many rabbits have you got?"
Pete: "SEVEN!"
Tester: "Let's try this another way.
If I give you two bottles of beer, and two bottles of beer, and another
two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?"
Pete: "SIX."
Tester: "Good! Now, if I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits,
and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?"
Pete: "SEVEN!"
Tester: "How on Earth do you figure that you'd have seven rabbits?"
Pete: "Well I've already got one rabbit at home!"

☺

~~ PATIENT: Doctor, what's the difference between ammonia and
pneumonia?
DOCTOR: Ammonia comes in bottles; pneumonia comes in chests.
☺
☺

Todays Thought:  Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.

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Good Morning, Everyone..... Another nice day.....I hope you all
are having one too.. Weather here has been weird lately.....
first hot then chilly.... Hopefully it'll settle down, now....
☺

That Iceland eruption is causing so pretty sunsets

over there....I don't think it will reach here....

I think they said north of the states....

☺

Great security guard......

☺

Till Mommy sez so...Hoopie.....

☺

So, you had to try....did ya!

Now you can just stay there till Dad gets home...

☺

Oh, my......Super Cat!

☺

I wouldn't either Bubba......

☺

Cat's love to play in boxes.....

Throw a box down....and it'll be full of cats playing.....

☺

Looks fat to me......

☺

What's the odds for two at the same time?

Someone's luck is bad.....

☺

Well, gotta go and pick up Bobbie......see ya later!..

☺

♥♥♥

☺

~~ Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch,

where Mrs. Jones' lovely young daughter, Linda, sat.
"It is really none of my business," whispered Mrs. Smith,
"but have you noticed what your daughter is doing?"
"Why, no. Is she up to anything special?"
Mrs. Smith leaned closer.
"Haven't you noticed?
She has started knitting tiny garments!"
Mrs. Jones' troubled brow cleared.
"Well, thank goodness," she said smiling,
"at last she has taken an interest in something besides running
around with boys."

☺

~~ Returning to her seat after visiting the restroom, Bobbie asked a
man at the end of the row,
"Pardon me, but did I step on your foot before?"
Expecting an apology, the man said, "It so happens you did."
Then Bobbie nodded.
"Good....... Then this is my row."

☺

~~ As a new paratrooper, I was struck by all the T-shirts on base
emblazoned with the motto "Death from above!"
Later I noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared
"Death from below!"
Then, standing in line for chow one day,
I was served by an Army cook.
His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and
yet another warning: "Death from within!"

☺

~~ There's a new type of alarm clock on the market.
It makes no noise.
It uses lights and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up.
I already have one of these...... It's called a window.

☺

~~ The medical student was shocked when he received a failing grade
in radiology.
Approaching the professor, he demanded to know the reasons for the
grade.
"You know the self-X-ray you took?" asked the professor.
"I do."
"A fine picture," he said, "of your lungs, stomach, and liver."
"If it's a fine picture, then why did you give me an F?"
"I had no choice," said the professor. "You didn't put your heart into it."

☺

~~ Women are angels,
And when someone breaks their wings .
They simply continue to fly ~ on a broomstick!
They're flexible like that.

☺

~~ Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest.
The first has no arms.
The second no legs and the third has no arms or legs.
They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool.
The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs
is closing fast.
The third of course sank straight to the bottom.
Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first.
He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool,
so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.
He picks up the third guy, swims back up to the surface and places
the him at the side of the pool,
where-upon he starts coughing and spluttering.
Eventually he catches his breath and shouts...
"Three years I've spent learning to swim with my ears,
then two seconds before the whistle,.........
someone puts a swimming cap on me!"

☺

~~ The clerk of the fleabag hotel said, "Wouldja like a room with running
water?"
With a nasty frown the drunk replied, "What do I look like, a trout?"

☺

~~ Newspaper publisher James Bennett was upset to learn that his rival,
William Randolph Hearst, wanted to take over his paper.
When Hearst asked how much it would cost to buy Bennett's paper,
he replied "Three cents daily. Five cents Sunday."

☺

~~ Can my convertible be called a "vroom with a view?"

☺

~~ A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in
a dept. store and asks -
"W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s
dep-p-p-partment?"
Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.
The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s
dep-p-p-partment?"
And the clerk just seems to ignore him.
Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk,
"why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get
b-b-b-beat up?!!"

☺
☺
Today's thought:  Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.

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