Good Morning....Friends.. Are you getting ready for tomorrow??
.

Hey, Thats my breakfast....Bubba....

.

You think for one minute, I would let this thing crawl on me?

Not in your life.... it would be on the floor with shoe prints

on it.....

.

No snoring!!

.

Some cuties......

.

And they will get ya.....

.

I have a friend thats address is Hard to find.....

.

Oh, My.....I just don't know....

.

Give Monster his cookie back.....

.

Now this sounds right.....

.

~~

.

Well, time to get out of here.....

Later..

.

♥♥♥

~~ Dwell on this

The Wizard of Oz" is 70 years old.
A remake would not be as good.
If Dorothy were to encounter men with no brain, no heart,
and no courage today,
she wouldn't be in Oz, she'd be in Congress.

.
~~ "How about us spending a romantic weekend in a nice quiet
hotel?" he whispered in the beautiful lady's ear.
"I'm afraid," she said, "that my awareness of your proclivities in
the esoteric aspects of sexual behavior precludes you from
such erotic confrontation."
"Err..sorry...I don't get it?" he said.
"Exactly!!!" she replied.

.
~~ A patient at my daughter’s medical clinic filled out a form.
After Name and Address, the next question was
"Nearest Relative."
She wrote "Walking distance."

.
~~ Jenny was driving through the countryside while her
four-year-old daughter Mariah stared at the farm animals from
the vantage point of her car seat.
When the car passed by an abandoned farmstead, including a
ramshackle structure with caved-in sides, Mariah said,
"Look at that barn, Mommy.
Somebody let the air out of it."

.
~~ Garbage collectors were picking up our trash as my wife
walked back into our house.
A particular barrel was very heavy. "Lady, we can't take this,"
one man called out.
"It's way over the weight limit."
My wife turned her eight-month-pregnant figure toward him.
"It didn't seem that heavy when I carried it out," she said.
Without another word, the man emptied the barrel into the truck.

.
~~ If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't
know how to speak the natives' language, just say
"Poppy-oomy........" I bet it means something.

.
~~ When Elaina picked up her three-year-old son Billy from
preschool, he jumped into the car and said, "I'm glad you named
me Billy."
Elaina asked, "Why is that?"
The little boy said, "Cuz that's what everyone calls me."

.
~~ The labor and delivery nurse handed the newborn baby girl
to the father, who already had five girls.
"You sure know how to make pretty girls," she complimented him.
"Why, that was easy," he said, "I had the pattern in front of me
the whole time."

.
~~ My sex life is so bad that when I called one of those phone
sex lines, a voice came on and said, "Not tonight.
I have an earache."

.
~~ My sister Darlene has the courage -- but not always the skills
to tackle any home-repair project.
For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawn mower she
once tried to fix.
So I wasn't surprised the day my other sister, Jesse, and I
found Darlene attacking her vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver.
"I can't get this thing to cooperate," she explained.
"Why don't you drag it out to the garage and show it the lawn
mower?" Jesse suggested.

.
~~ A horse walked into a restaurant and ordered a well-done
cheeseburger with onions, pickle, relish, ketchup, and mustard.
The waiter brought the food to the horse, who finished it off with
great pleasure.
Noticing a cowboy staring at him as he ate, the horse said,
"I suppose you think it's strange that a horse should come into
a restaurant and order a well-done cheeseburger with onions,
pickle, relish, ketchup, and mustard."
"Not at all," the cowboy said. "I like it that way myself."

.
~~ My wife was grading a science test at home that she had
given to her elementary-school class and was reading some
of the results to me.
The subject was the human body, and the first question was:
Name one of the major functions of your skin."
One child wrote: "To keep people who look at you from throwing up."
.
.
Todays Thought:  Before you point your fingers be sure your hands are clean.

Good Morning, Friends....I'm not eating today...getting ready for tomorrow.
.

She's glad she's not a Turkey.....

.

Oh My! Your breath stinks...Bubba.

.

My what big teeth you have gramma!!

.

WHOOOOOO......Sorry I asked....

.

Yawn....

.

Look! Out! He'll crap on you !!

.

Lovey, Dovey....Just wait....they'll rip you face off.....

.

More Bad eggs.........

.

What can you say??

.

Can you give me a tow...I need to leave here...

.

♥♥♥

~~ Due to his hectic schedule, I had seen little of the medical

student who had moved next door to me two years earlier.
I learned that he had graduated, and one day when I spotted
him in his driveway, I went over and congratulated him.
"Well," I said, "Now if I break my arm, you'll be able to fix it."
"Gus," he replied, "I've been able to fix your arm for some time.
The important thing is that now I can bill for it."

.
~~ Live a good, honorable life.
Then when you get older and think back,
you'll enjoy it a second time.

.
~~ Name-calling and profanity are not tolerated at our
junior high school.
So I was concerned when a student complained that another
student had called him the e word.
"E word?" I asked.
I couldn't think of even one.
"What e word did he call you?"
He lowered his voice and muttered, "Idiot."

.
~~ The aptly named entertainer Harry Richman was occasionally
known to tip a waiter fifty dollars simply for being handed the menu.
Richman once asked a head waiter, "What's the biggest tip you've
ever received?"
"A hundred dollars" The waiter replied.
Richman gave the man two hundred dollars.
"Now tell me," Richman asked, "who gave you the hundred?"
"You did, Mr Richman." the waiter replied.

.
~~ When my son was in third grade, he was having difficulty
with his math homework.
I asked my son if he needed help.
“Thanks anyway, Mom, but you can't help me,” he replied.
“You only teach second grade.”

.
~~ A printer consists of 3 main parts:
1. The case
2. The jammed paper tray
3. The blinking red light.

.
~~~ Frequently complimented on what a pretty girl she was,
my five- year-old daughter, had become fairly used to relatives
and friends' comments.
One evening my friend Eleanor came to visit just as Maria
was being tucked into bed, so she came to say good night.
“My!” Eleanor said, “you have really long eyelashes!”
“Yes, Eleanor,” said Maria.
“They should be long.
I've been growing them for five years,” she paused,
“and I never cut them once.”

.
~~ When your children are teenagers, it's important to have
a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

.
~~ A painter, who lived in Great Britain,
Interrupted two girls with their knittin'
He said, with a sigh,
"That park bench--well I
Just painted it, right where you're sittin.'"

.
~~ A lifeguard and a beautiful young lady were going at it hot
and heavy on the beach.
A passerby said to the lifeguard, "You're supposed to give
mouth-to-mouth rescuscitation."
The lifeguard said, "Well, that's how this started out!"

.
~~ I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone.
After several minutes of searching, her young daughter said,
“You know what they should invent?
A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”
.
.
Todays Thought:  "Opportunity is missed by most people: Because it is dressed

in overalls and looks like work." --Thomas Edison....

 Good Morning....Neighbors......
.

Cuddle up to "Teddy"....

.

Wishful thinking.....

.

He's Hungry......

.

Want a ride??....

.

Cool, Camper.....

.

What a Tie up....

.

This is why the tie up.......

.

Yep...There they are.....

.

My Man "ENO"....

.

Well, time for me to go.....later..

.

♥♥♥

~~ Bobbie: I have a headache.

I think I'll lie down and take some aspirins.
Gus: Bayer?
Bobbie: No, I'll keep my clothes on.

.
~~ QUESTION: What's fifteen inches long and hangs in front of
an a**hole?
ANSWER: A lawyer's necktie.

.
~~ Washington, D.C. serves a very important function in our
system of government.
It keeps all the politicians in one place where it's easier to keep
an eye on them.

.
~~ Christmas: It's the season when radios keep you awake until
three in the morning playing "Silent Night."

.
~~ Gus and his date were walking through the park
when they came across a snarling dog.
Gus started to beat a wise retreat.
Bobbie said, "Gus, you always swore you would face
death for me."
Gus said, "I would, but that damn dog ain't dead!"

.
~~ Did you hear about Mr. Frog who parked his car illegally?
It got toad away.

.
~~ As a foreman for a construction company, my friend John
was interviewing an applicant.
He asked the plasterer to bring his tools in so he could see
what he could do.
The fellow returned with tools slung over his shoulder and
hanging from his pockets, and in one hand he was holding an
unidentifiable object covered in plaster.
John asked what it was.
"My radio," the chap answered.
"All right," said John, "you can start tomorrow."
The applicant looked surprised.
"That's it? You don't want to see what I can do?"
"Any plaster man who has a radio looking like that one,"
John said, "must have put in at least three years of work."

.
~~ Pete: My, what a surprise meeting you here at the
psychiatrist's office!
Are you coming or going?
Gus: If i knew that I wouldn't be here.

.
~~ Gus: I'm on my way to try out for the school swimming team.
Bobbie: Are you joking?
You can barely fight the current when you let out the bath water.

.
~~ I love the self-checkout aisle at my super market.
The only problem comes when I leave an item on the scanner
too long and the robo-voice scolds, "Please move your whole milk
(or whatever) to the bagging area."
Ordinarily, I just ignore it.
But on my last shopping trip, I moved fast when the voice began
shouting, "Please move your pork butt."

.
~~ PATIENT: Nurse, nurse, nobody ever listens to me.
NURSE: Next!

.
~~ The morning after a terrible snowstorm,
I spotted my neighbor Janet shovelling her driveway.
I waved hello and asked why her husband wasn't out
helping her.
She explained that one of them had to stay inside and look
after their two small children.
They had flipped a coin to determine who would be the one
to go out and shovel.
"Sorry to hear of your bad luck," I said.
"Don't be," she replied quickly. "I won!"

.
~~ A formation of geese was flying south for their winter vacation.
One of the geese in the back complained, "How come we always
have to follow that same leader?"
"Shut up!" replied another bird.
"He's the one with the map."
.
.
Todays Thought:  The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.

Good Morning....Friends, How goes your week ends...
We're having a nice one weather wise.....
.

Robert Satcher's Self-Portrait ........

Astronaut Robert Satcher uses a digital still camera to take a
self-portrait during the STS-129 mission's first spacewalk.
During the six-hour, 37-minute spacewalk.......
.

I guess I need a Shave!!

.

A 1920's lady....

.

I hate that....Why I don't walk barefoot in the yard....

.

Shoplifting don't pay......Bubba.

.

No! that's nothing to laff at....

.

What Can I say??

.

Oh No not that!!  You an't right!

.

♥♥♥

.

~~ Chuck: I have the body of an athlete.

Gus: Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape.
.

~~ A customer called our rental store to ask about rectangular
tables.
I told him we had six-foot and eight-foot tables.
His response: "What's the difference?"

.
~~ One Wednesday eve, I invited my son, Alex, for the weekend
and suggested he ask his friend Steve to join us.
This email exchange between the boys soon followed:
"My mom wants to know if we're still on for Friday night.
She's looking forward to our visit...... Signed, Alex."
"Sounds good. I'll stop eating now.... Signed, Steve."

.
~~ Our daughter's condo was the target of a break-in.
The following morning in church one of her girlfriends came
running to her, gave her a big hug, then told her,
"You need to either get married or get yourself a pit bull."
A middle-aged usher offered his advice: "Get the pit bull!"

.
~~ A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar,
telling all the Polish jokes we knew.
Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain.
While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me,
"Hey pal, I'm Polish and I don't like you telling all those Polish jokes."
So I said, "Well, they're not against you, pal, just against anyone
in Poland."
"My mother is in Poland!" he screams and pulls out a razor.
Boy was I scared!!
I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to
plug it in!

.
~~There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too
old to ignore and too young to kick.

.
~~ Some things are hard to grasp.
Where do square fish come from so that fast-food outlets
can make square fish sandwiches?
Why do we play a round of golf, but we square dance?
Why does a business have to tell the truth about his product,
but politicians can lie about each other?
Why does a can of dog food have more nutritional information
on it than a jar of baby food?
Why are women's size 6 shoes smaller than a man's size 6 shoe?
Why do British drivers drive on the left side of the road and
most others drivers in the world drive on the right side?
Why does it "rain cats and dogs" and not "catfish and bass"?

.
~~ A hole had been found in the wall in the ladies changing
room in one of the big departmental stores -
the police are "looking into it".

.
~~ Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf has for men.
Mary: TELL me about it!
I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked
too many questions!
Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game.
What questions did you ask?
Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions..like,
"Why did you hit the ball into the trees?"

.
~~ The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.

.
~~ A man stops a stranger on the street and asks,
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"
"Practice!" the stranger answers.

.
~~ One day a studio usher knocked on the door of actress
Ethel Barrymore's Hollywood dressing room.
"A couple of gals in the reception room, Miss Barrymore,
who say they went to school with you," she announced.
"What shall I do?"
Barrymore's reply? "Wheel them in."

.
~~There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old
to ignore and too young to kick.
.
.
Todays Thought:  You know you're getting older when pillowcase lines on,
your face last until it's time foryour afternoon nap.

Good Morning.. Friends.... Today's sunrise.....36º dgrees...
.

Nice picture....

.

Watch out!...don't get near them......

.

Get out of the window...Dummy!!

.

Now this is a big Joker.....I would not get in the ring....

.

Too, many!..FATTY!!

.

You better turn off..Theys will find out....

.

Sorry bout that...wrong gear.. I wanted to go forward....

.

Who needs a truck??

.

Nice Door....Bubba...when will you paint it??

.

♥♥♥

.

~~ Children who never come when called will grow up to be

doctors.
Children who come before they are called will grow up to be
lawyers.

.
~~ Faith picked up her eight-year-old daughter Colleen after
school and asked, "What exciting things did you do in school
today?"
"Well, in art class I made a sign for my bedroom door,"
Colleen replied.
Turning to her three-year-old sister Cadie, who was sitting in
her car seat, Colleen said, "It says 'No little kids allowed.'"
Cadie responded, "I can't read, so I can still come in your room."

.
~~ It’s not your salary that makes you rich, it’s your spending
habits.

.
~~ "Can anyone tell me," asked the teacher,
"why the Middle Ages are often called the Dark Ages?"
Bobbie raised her hand and shouted,
"Because they had so many knights?"

.
~~ The company where I work provides four-foot-high cubicles
so each employee can have some privacy.
One day a co-worker had an exasperating phone conversation
with one of her teenage sons.
After hanging up, she heaved a sigh and said,
"No one ever listens to me."
Immediately, several voices from surrounding cubicles called out,
"Yes, we do."

.
~~ A football player sat beside a boy in class that was really
smart and the teacher knew that he was cheating,
but she just couldn't catch him.
One day she was grading a test and she noticed that the
smart boy had written "I don't know the answer" on number 10.
So she looked at the jock's paper and smiled.
He had finally given himself away.
His answer looked like this:
10. me neither....

.
~~ A second-grade math class that was learning about groups.
In one exercise, pupils were asked to label a group of items
according to their common characteristics.
Pictured were onion rings, doughnuts, a bundt cake and
ring cookies.
The correct answer would have been that all the items have
holes in the center.
But one health-conscious boy's response was,
"All of those things contain too much cholesterol."

.
~~ Annie, an elderly Scots lady, lay dying.
She looked up and asked her husband if he would do her just
one small favor before she went.
'Fergus,' she asked, 'on the day o' the funeral I'd like ye tae ride
in the same coach as ma mother.'
To which Fergus replied, 'A' richt, Annie.
I'll dae that tae please ye.... But ye've completely spoilt the
day for me.'

.
~~ A sweater is usually put on a child when the parent feels chilly.

.
~~ On a crisp fall afternoon, my four-year-old son was helping

rake leaves in the front yard of our farmhouse.
I glanced up just in time to see a flock of geese flying over
and pointed out how they flew in a formation shaped like a V.
He patiently watched them as they disappeared over the
horizon and then turning to me and asked,
"Do they know any other letters?"

.
~~ Our eleven-year-old twin grandsons, Martin and Christopher,
spend a lot of time golfing with their parents.
I realized how much time one day as we began a meal.
We always say this grace:
"For food and friends and all God sends, we give Him a grateful
thanks."
That day I began "For…," and waited for the boys to join in.
When they kept talking, I repeated more loudly, "Foooor…."
Martin looked up and said, "Look out, God, there’s a prayer
coming!"

.
~~ It is amazing how nice people are to you when they know
you’re going away.

.
~~ Some things are just meant to go together: love and marriage,
mom and apple pie, baseball and hot dogs, joy and happiness,
grace and peace, mercy and forgiveness.
These are but a few of the Siamese twins of rightness.
Other things just don't mix well: oil and water, cats and dogs,
frogs and little girls, hate and love, rain and drought,
war and peace, grace and hatred, honor and a fool.


.
~~ For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun.
He gave me a sweater with a bull’s-eye on the back.
.
.
Todays Thought:  You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose,

but you can not pick your friends nose...
.