Good Morning, Readers....Hope your having a great day..........






I can't believe my eyes.....What in the "L" is that?.....................

I don't have a clue..? Looks kinda funny to me.....

Watch it! I'm a strong bird......

What's with this strange person....He don't smell right............

Sunrise thru the window...

Maggi, Chico and Sadie playing tug of war.....

~~~Comic Will Rogers saw one payoff for our taxes:.

"The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad.

It might be worth it except they keep coming back."

~~~When President John Quincy Adams left the White House, he was elected to the House of Representatives, where he served into his eighties.

When a much younger congressman criticized Adams for being too old for politics, Adams countered, "An ass is older at thirty than a man is at eighty."

~~~ Two months before his 75th birthday, my friends husband had to get two hearing aids.

He kept telling people he now had to have a "bathroom list" of things to do each morning, which included putting in his hearing aids and false teeth, and exercising his replaced knee.

A few weeks before his birthday, when I was asking him what he wanted for his birthday, he kept saying he was asking for divine inspiration.

Then one morning, while he was struggling with his hearing aids.

I overheard him say: "For my birthday, Lord, please don't make my list any longer."

~~~A sign seen on a street-cleaning vehicle proclaimed, "Caution: driver's mind is in the gutter!"

~~~Coming out of church, Bobbie asked her friend, "Do you think that Jetter girl is tinting her hair?".

"I didn't even see her," admitted Gus.

"And that dress Mrs. Devine was wearing," continued Bobbie, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper outfit for a mother of two."

"I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Gus.

"Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Bobbie. "A lot of good it does you to go to church!"

Good Morning......Chilly Mornings now....Leaves falling.........





Mom...I'm tired!...................

Not us!...We're gonna run a foot race....

Damn it! ...I won't that Frisbee.....

He's plumb tired out....Mama hen's keeping him warm............

Ain't I got beautiful legs ? I can outrun you.............................

Don't get too close......He's not running anywere.........................

~~~To all my friends and family who have sent me best 'wishes' chain letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something...................................

NONE OF THAT SHIT WORKED!.

So if you could you please just send cash, bourbon,airline tickets, or maybe just a tank of gas, that'd be great.

~~~Hillary Clinton was at the debate........

And I thought, “Is it really a good idea to be leaving Bill at home alone?”

~~~My doctor is a very busy man...................

To save time he makes you take off your clothes in the waiting room.

~~~Doctors can be frustrating..

You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."..

~~~Inmates at our prison are allowed to shine shoes in order to make a few extra bucks..

One day, I was having my shoes shined when the prisoner began to complain..

"Here I am with a degree, and I have to resort to shining shoes," he grumbled..

"What kind of degree do you have?" I asked..

Without looking up: "First degree.."

Good Morning....Everybody....Even everybody in Fla.................






Damn, Dude...pull your pants up...It's not cool lookin ............

That's more funny lookin then a wheelbarrow full of monkeys.

Wrong lane....That's gonna cost someone..................................

Scard me.......

Scared you?.....I liked to had a heart attack....

Took my bike and road home.....

Working at IHOP, I recently learned why not to take money until the order has been filled.

One day a customer handed me a $20 bill to pay for her order, then changed her mind and added a doughnut.

I grabbed the extra doughnut but lost track of her money.

Later, on a hunch, I checked the video surveillance tape.

Sure enough, there I was wrapping the $20 bill around the doughnut like a napkin and passing it to the customer.

~~~My marriage is at the point where I put on a Michael Bolton CD and pour her some wine... just so she'll have something to do while I watch the game.

~~~The autumn leaves are a lot like raising kids.

First they turn on you, and then they fly away.

And next thing you know, you look out the window and they're back!

In our small town we decided, with the advent of recycling trash, that there would have to be tighter controls over the sorting of garbage.

Therefore, a permanent employee was hired by the township to ensure that this happened.

However, a number of people were upset because the dump was now locked after hours.

"Isn't it ironic," the mayor reflected, "in our little town, people don't lock their cars, they don't lock their homes, and yet we lock our garbage dump!"

~~~More and more baseball stadiums are bringing back natural grass.

They have to. All that tobacco juice is killing the Astroturf.

Good Morning Everyone.....Kinda chilly here this morning..
"Witchy's" having a good trip back home.................................
Have a safe day...







Looks lickin good...................................................................

I'll fight ya, for it !

Dress up for Halloween ?

I don't know........Stay away from my baby...............

Another "Jaws" movie?

And I thought I was dumb......Damn..................

When a person tells me talk is cheap, I ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs.

A dead English lord and his dead butler run into each other in Hell.

"My lord," the butler exclaims. "What are you doing here?"

The lord sighs, "I'm here because I lied, cheated, and stole to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine.

But you were a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?"

butler replies, "For fathering your playboy son."

When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Morris couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him.

"Well, Gus," said the doctor, "It's going to take at least five days for the parts to get in.

As for the cost, there's no way to tell until we get in there and see exactly what the problem is."

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got two girlfriends.

Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

An other weekend is here....the leaves are falling.....................
and my mind is not on what I'm doing......................................
Oh, Well what else is new?.........................................................






Shouldn't we go to the Red Roof Inn ??......................................

Don't mind us ...we're just hanging out.........................................

I'm hanging out on the Internet................................................

He's cleaning the street..with his new street sweeper...............

A man who can recognize a woman when she does something good and acknowledge it,

is a real man, and that separates the men from the boys.

Real women like real men.

A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing,

but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

We need to remember that the models and actresses whose looks we covet are merely people too.

Much of what you see is the air- brushed, computerized version of what appears to be a real person.

I got tired of looking at all those leaves in my yard,

so I got up off the couch and went into action.

I closed the curtains.

That Rascal is sad.....but, he'll live........

Good Morning.....Almost didn't make it......another crash.....
Oh, well....another day, another dollar..........
"Witchy" have a safe trip back home...








Friends......................What can you say?

Hanging in there?..........

Too early to get up..........................................

Friends playing.....................................................

I'm leaving before that cat sees me...............................

We're hiding, they an't gonna get us.........................

Answering machine message...................

Hello, this is Gus's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life.

After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message.

Thanks.

Arriving home very drunkA man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes.

He is obviously drunk.

So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."

The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times.

They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man.

He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.

The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"

Recruiting any and all pilots

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services.

He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.

As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.

The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.

He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"

The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" aide hustles the young man off.

The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man says, "I chop wood!" "Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?"

"I chop wood!"

"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"

"Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!"

"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"

The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"

Good Morning..... Everybody ready for fall ?........................
The old computer is crazy this morning..............................

Some cool carving of pumpkins.................

Maggi don't trust them funny lookin guys...............

Leaves starting to turn and fall......won't be long..................

Good gas Mileage ?....................

Waiting for the tide......no use getting in a hurry..........

♣

A journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

"There is no such doctor" she tells him.

"Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"

"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.

"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."

He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Sir, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"

"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."

♣

If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark.

♣

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

♣

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her.

Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married.

Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.

But one day, he became determined to ask her the question.

So he calls her on the phone, "June."

"Yes, this is June."

"Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will! Whos this?"

Good Morning.......Hope every one slept good.........






Don't I have funny eyes?...................................

Your funny lookin all over...........

Us cat's have pride you know....................................

Oh...OMG....were is your hair gone?......................................

And they put me in a cage.................................

♦

How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

Look for elephant tracks in the butter.

♦

In certain parts of the world, people still pray in the streets.

In this country, they're called pedestrians.

♦

One day at the family reunion my grandparents were reminiscing.

My grandfather remarked, "I wonder what ever happened to the old- fashioned girls who fainted when a man kissed them."

Grandmother gave him a withering look, "What I'd like to know is what happened to the old-fashioned men who could make them faint!"

♦

A couple on vacation in Virginia decided on the spur of the moment to get married.

They went to the county courthouse, but they took a wrong turn and, without realizing it, ended up in the offices where hunting licenses are sold.

"We're from out-of- state," said the prospective groom.

"Can we get a license?"

The clerk replied, "No, but I can give you a 3-day permit."

Good morning.....Wow...Dial up sure is slow this morning.......
But, is supposed to be a great day............






Yesterdays sunrise....................

Time for breakfast..................................................................

We can't get awake.....need more rest....................................

I wouldn't go in there, if I were you................................

Sorry!,...if I scare you.........................................................

You just wait until I grow up...I'll be a watch cat too.............

♥

Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?

A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?

A: Parachute him from an airplane.

Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?

A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.

♥

DAD: How are your exams son?

BOY: Underwater.

DAD: Underwater? What do you mean?

BOY: They're below C level.

♥

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in a strawberry patch.