Monday, August 27, 2007

We had a good Birthday....

Lunch time....
We had a good time at the pasture party....

Talk about Alaska food prices.
A women went to the store tobuy a couple heads of lettuce, but when she saw the price
at$2.00 she told the grocer, "Do you know what you can do with this lettuce?"
"No thanks, lady, I've got a $2.00 cucumber up there now."
(and we won't even talk about the $20.00 watermelons)

Thank you friends for all the cards........

Friday, August 24, 2007

Steam and Gas Pasture Party..



Apple Butter time is getting here..but it's too hot!

The two men stood on the lonely lighthouse.
Through the fog they could see a small boat making its way toward them, with a lonely occupant.
Suddenly a squall lifted the craft and tossed the man into the water.
The two men on shore sprang into action.
Hurriedly they launched their own craft and fought their way through perilous and treacherous waters to reach the man.
At last they got him aboard their boat.
"It's a good thing you rescued me," the dripping man said gratefully.
"I was coming out to see you about your income tax."

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Some Cool stuff............

Blue foot Boobies

Steam and pasture party this weekend....

Pete walks into a doctors and says, "Doctor, I think i have a slight discharge."
The female doctor says, OK, stand here and pull your pants down.
Pete does as she says, the doctor then begins massaging his willy, After a few minutes, she says, Theres no discharge here.
Pete replies, "I know, its in my ear....."

Question....
How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
If she farts, her ankles swell.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Nuttin going on.....


Books we'll never read or use:

"Dr. Pock's Seven Quick-Day Steps to Acne and Blackhead Removal"

Dr. Sigmund Pussible's "Book of Boils for the Med Student"

Dr. Incredible's "Supremely-Perfect Marriage and Never-Divorce Manual"
"
Your Mother-in-Law Is Just Like Your Own Mom...Really!"

"Miss Teague's Coffee Grounds Ice Cream Sundaes"

"Foot Soaks To Win The Woman Of Your Dreams"

Exercise/Health Equipment With Catchy Names and New to the Marketplace:

"Brainiac Jack or Jill in the Sack"---a head device increases your IQ while you still get 8 hours of sleep! Amazing!

"The Sub-Fat Jacket"---wear it while eating low-fat subs and lose an extra 20 pounds in 6 weeks!

"Ice Cream Churn-Off"---in 10 minutes a day for 2 weeks, all ice- cream cravings go to zero!

"Butt-B-Gone"---large butts go to normal size in 30 days with this unusual device. Note: the "end butt" may still offend you!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

We get alot of these around here.....


An "Aye-Aye"

The Aye-aye is native to Madagascar, that combines rodent-like teeth with a long, thin middle finger.

Being the world’s largest nocturnal primate, It’s characterized by its unique method of finding food, tapping on trees to find grubs, then gnawing holes in the wood and inserting its elongated middle finger to pull the grubs out.
The Aye-aye is currently an endangered species.
They’re the world’s largest nocturnal primate, and dwell predominantly in forest canopies, weighing about 5.5 pounds (2.5 kilograms).

Now the joke.....
Two nuns were walking across a pasture when one stepped in a cow patty, She yelled,"
Oh SHIT, I stepped in some # 2!"

What do you call a person who can't walk through a pasture without getting shit all over their shoes?
"Incowpoop".

Friday, August 10, 2007

A really hot day....

The Shop....
The little one is nipping and trying to play...She's not scared!
A man rushed into a jewelry store, told the clerk he needed a pair of diamond earrings for his wedding anniversary, and quickly made his selection.
When asked if he wanted them wrapped, he replied, "That would be great, but hurry.
My wife thinks I'm taking out the garbage!"

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Ah..So....I have a suprise for you........

Gentle thoughts for today.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,
but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

Friday, August 3, 2007

Pot roast on...Smells so good......

Old Age Combat Hat..
Now the funny....

Two women were discussing reincarnation.
One asked Ruby if her husband believed in it.
Ruby said, "Does my husband believe in life after death?
My husband doesn't even believe in life after dinner!"

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Couple pics I thought were nice..

Found on the internet..
Boomer coming in......
"We have women in the military, but they don't put them in the front lines.
They don't know if they can fight or if they can kill.
I think they can.
All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." ~~~

Saturday, July 28, 2007

One day at a time.....


Walking path in the woods...

Your girlfriend is ugly when...
(1) She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.
(2) As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.
(3) Even mosquitoes stay away from her.
(4) She startles the animals at the zoo.
(5) On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
(6) She makes onions cry.
(7) Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds.
(8) Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
(9) The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.
(10)She was so ugly, when she was born they put tinted windows on her incubator.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Somebody's got a hard head.....

Dinner is served........
Maybe we need to listen to the old folks....
Well, Ruby fell at work the other night and had to have 5 stiches in the back of her head.
But she's O.K... I've been telling her she's got a hard head for years......
Now for a laff...
FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME....
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.
Most of us have naively thought this was connected with marriage or religion, but the Indian embassy in Washington , D.C. has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.
On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States .
If nothing is there, he must take a job answering telephones giving technical advice.
I know I BAD.....

Monday, July 23, 2007

Nothing to report..



My name is Gus from Virginia ...
I pass my gas through a little red stoma....
Embarrassing noise and a bit of aroma ....
Sure beats hell out of dying in a coma ....
Thinking......
I never cared for Tammy Faye through the years..
But nobody should die like that.....Damn!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Well, now you know I'm lazy...been a week.

I thought this house was funny lookin..........
I'd like to be swimming here.....nice

Funny;
Did you hear about the Newfie terrorist who tried to blow up a school bus?
He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe.

How many Newfies does it take to go ice fishing?
Four. One to cut a hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

Did you hear about the Newfie who went ice fishing?
He caught fifty pounds of ice and his wife drowned trying to cook it.

I know.....Bad..Bad....

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Really hot day.....

Want to buy an apt.??
Maybe a ride ???

Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard.
The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum.
The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher.
I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface.
I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.
"You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied.
"I just threw my wife's credit cards in there.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Well I got lazy......O.K.?

How about this sunset?



Country roads.............
The English language can be tricky.
If you tell a woman that time stands still when you look into her eyes, she'll be thrilled,
but try telling her that her face would stop a clock...........

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

July 4th. 2007...


Hope everyone has a good July 4th, just be careful.

We don't want to lose anyone.

Eating time starts at 3:00, Fireworks start at dark.

Bobby's house.

Whole family will be there.

Everybody's welcome...

Friday, June 29, 2007

In the pasture of life, don't be a cowpie.

Now....that would tickle!!!

The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver.
He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator,
"Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."

Thursday, June 28, 2007


Old woman sitting alone at a table in a truckers's cafeteria...three tough, very road-weary drivers come in, see the only space to sit is at the table she's at.
They get their trays, sit down with her, and wanting to talk trucker stuff, decide to gross her out.
"Damn", says the first one, giving his armpits a delicate sniff..."I stink...haven't had a bath in three days..."
"Me neither," says his buddy..."In fact, it's been two weeks...."
"Hell, I haven't even been rained on in a month," says the third.
"I tried to change my drawers yesterday, but they fought me!"
The old woman smiles and says, "Would one of you smelly bastards please pass the salt?"

Monday, June 25, 2007

Chance of rain all week.

This barn is at the end of our road.. I see people taking pictures quite often..

A man parked his car in Washington, DC. A policeman rushed to him, shouting, "Are you crazy? Here is where the government is!"
"No problem," the man answered, "I've good locks in my car."