Good Morning....Everyone.....
New Years eve......are you celebrating?
I'll be asleep....I'll leave the celebrating to you...
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Yesterdays Sunrise...... I didn't think I would get a picture...
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Bad, Bad Santa.......

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Somebody Goofed!....

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 Another goof off......Must have been celebrating early......

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Don't look like any jelly donut I ever saw....

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Baa humbug......

Looks like he's enjoying himself....

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Damn, things stopped up...

and I'm hungry!!

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Pug...the Thug.

He's bad to the bone!!

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Eno's the MAN........

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Got a shout out from the Man......

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♥♥♥

~~ To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.

- Theodore Roosevelt -

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~~ As an instructor in driver education at the local area
High School, I've learned that even the brightest students
can become flustered behind the wheel.
One day I had three beginners in the car, each scheduled to
drive for 30 minutes.
When the first student had completed his time,
I asked him to change places with one of the others.
Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead,
he asked in a shaky voice, "Should I stop the car first?"

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~~ Q: A man was driving a black truck.
His lights were not on.
The moon was not out.
A lady was crossing the street.
How did the man see her?
A: It was a bright, sunny day.

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~~ I was working as a senior secretary at a small accounting
firm when one day my boss realized that a costly mistake had
been made on a client's financial statement.
It had already been mailed out, and my boss was expecting
the client to call in an uproar as soon as the mistake was
discovered.
He was in a quandary as to how to explain the error.
Although it was his fault, I magnanimously told him:
"Well, why don't you blame it on me?
That way the client won't be as upset with you."
"No, that won't work," he said.
"That's what I always tell them."

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~~ Maturity begins when people are content to feel they are
right about something without feeling the necessity to prove
someone else wrong.

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~~ When the first James Bond books were published,
they weren't particularly popular.
But when President John Kennedy announced that he liked
them, the books became best sellers,
leading to an endless series of movies some terrific,
others terrible, all of them popular.
Bond was known as 007 all over the world except in Italy,
where he was called Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

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~~ Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.

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~~ My cousin was behind the bakery's cash register one
morning when a gunman burst in and demanded all the cash.
As she nervously handed over the money, she noticed the rolls
of coins in the back of the register.
"Do you want the rolls too?" she asked.
"No," said the robber, waving his gun. "Just the money."

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~~ I bought a great new toilet seat recently.
On the label was a suggestion on how to clean it.
Although nice to have the option, I doubt I'll take advantage
of it.
My toilet seat, it seems, is "Dishwasher Safe."

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~~ Jasper Barnett, a young lad from St. Alban's, England
was asked by his teacher to spell the word 'straight.'
Jasper did so without error.
'Well done!' smiled the teacher,
'Now, Jasper, what does it mean?'
'Without water in it!'.. responded Jasper immediately.

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~~ "Any husband who says. 'My wife and I are completely

equal partners', is talking about either a law firm or a hand
of bridge." (Bill Cosby)

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~~ The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself
without it.

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Todays Thought:  Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.

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Good Morning, Friends, and Neighbors...

Well, cloudy and 52º....a regular heat wave...

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Early sunrise......

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Then later.......

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You better listen...!!

She can be mean.....

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There is a pole kitty under there......

I can smell it.....

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Man...what a bunny......

He does need big carrots......

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Don't play poker with this guy....

He'll take all your money....

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I don't believe you.......

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I  don't either......

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This guy must had loved his computer....

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The Divorce Ring??

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Redneck wood seller......

Want to buy some....

☺5

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♥♥♥

~~ Dear Kids,

Santa Claus is your mummy and daddy.
Regards,
Julian Assange
Wikileaks.org
p.s. Happy Christmas!

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~~ “Now there are more overweight people in America than
average-weight people.
So overweight people are now average.
Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.

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~~ The woman said to her beautician as she sat down for her
appointment, "When you're finished with me, will my
husband think I'm beautiful?"
"Maybe," replied beautician, "does he still drink a lot?"

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~~ A woman pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car,
opens the hood, and checks the engine oil.
After a few seconds of intelligent thinking,
she takes a dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high,
walks up to the attendant:
"Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?"
"May I ask why you need a longer one ma'am?"
"Because this one isn't long enough to reach the oil!!"

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~~ Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing
of the hospital.
When a new baby was brought into the nursery,
all the women tried to guess its weight,
but the guy standing next to me was the only male to venture
a number.
"Looks like 9 pounds," he offered confidently.
"This must not be your first," I said.
"Oh, yes," he said. "It's my first."
"Then how would you know the weight of a baby?" I asked.
He shrugged......... "I'm a fisherman."

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~~ The bank robbers arrived just before closing and promptly
ordered the few remaining depositors, the tellers, clerks, and
guards to disrobe and lie face down on the floor,
behind the counter.
One nervous blonde pulled off all her clothes and lay down
on the floor facing upwards.
"Turn over, Cindy," whispered the girl lying beside her.
"This is a stick-up,... not an office party!"

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~~ When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in
Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read,
"It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you."
The company thought that the word "embarazar"
(to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read:
"It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant"

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~~ Our anniversary was approaching,
so when my husband told me that he had booked a
"tee" time for Sunday at 10 a.m., I was delighted.
"Tea at the Empress Hotel, how lovely!" I exclaimed.
The look on his face was priceless as he quickly ran to
the phone to make the reservation.

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~~ Sean Connery was delighted to land the role of
secret service agent James Bond in 'Dr. No',
the first film in the classic series.
He and the producers were less delighted, however,
by the title chosen for the film's release in Japan:
"We Don't Want a Doctor".

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~~ Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped
animal has to buy the license.

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~~ A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl.
One day she told him that the next day was her birthday.
He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses...
one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered
twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered
first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that
since the young man was such a good customer,
he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl
so angry with him.

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Todays Thought:  A wise man should never argue with a fool! ....      Bystanders will not know which is which.

Good Morning....and it is a good morning.....

I got 29º and we're going to have a heat wave...

in the 40+ today, 50+ tomorrow, and maybe 60's Saturday..

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Yesterdays Sunrise......

Clouds leaving.....

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This was the mountains Monday..... Not much traffic......

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Time for a donut??

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How about some tea with the donuts?

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Cool table..... looks weird......

Need a end table, Petewete?

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Some people are just meant to not fly.......

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Now how did that get there??

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She's saying "Oh, No!"

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He's cool....Petewete you like "ENO?"

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I don't know about this guy!.....

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When they clean up the road I'll be able to leave....

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♥♥♥

~~ With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

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~~ Gus was walking down the street and he met a
small boy.
Gus asked the lad his name.
The boy replied, 'Six and seven-eighths.'
Gus asked him why his parents had given him such a
strange name.
The youngster answered,
'They just picked it out of a hat.....'

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~~ A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the
pharmacist if he sells condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do.
What size would you like?"
She responds, "Oh, just mix them up,
I am not going steady with anyone right now."

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~~ It's true that wine improves with age.
The older you get, the more you like it.

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~~ "How did the wedding go?" asked the minister's
wife.
"Just fine until I got to the part where I asked the bride
if she would obey and she said, 'Do you think I'm nuts?'
and the groom said, 'I do,' and then things really began
to happen fast."

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~~ In fourth grade, my daughter had to write a
200-word essay.
She chose the subject “My Grandma, My Heroine.”
I suggested she e- mail a copy to her grandma,
which she did immediately, adding this postscript:
“Did you get my Christmas wish list last week?”

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~~ I think one of the greatest things about marriage is
that as both husband and father, I can say anything I
want to around the house.
Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

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~~ NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION...JOGGING:
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of
your glass.

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~~ The banquet was about to begin when the master
of ceremonies was informed that the priest invited to
give the blessing was unable to attend.
He asked the main speaker if he would oblige,
and the man agreed.
He began, "There is no priest present, let us thank God."

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~~ How many reindeer does it take to change a light
bulb?
Eight!........
One to screw in the red light bulb and seven to hold
Rudolph down!

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~~ My wife asked me, "How many women have you
slept with?"
I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling.
With all the others I was awake."
Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 AM to 8 PM

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~~ "New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to
make your regular annual good resolutions.
Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."

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Todays Thought: "It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy.

Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest."

#1160

Good Morning...Friends..... Still cold and windy..
I got 24º degrees this morning.....
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Next door Neighbors having a meal....

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Farm kids having fun...

But too cold now..

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Stay outta the chair....

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Good stay away from the tree.....

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Got a cramp....had to get up....

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A lot of people up north are doing this.....

We lucked out.....

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Hey! Mama, keep moving...

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Yeah, he's a safety nut.......

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Are you going to jump, or you just showing off??

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care for a burger...?

these are for people on a diet....

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Well, I think I'll go fishing with my friend....

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♥♥♥

~~ Gus with a swollen foot goes to the doctor.

After a careful examination, the doctor hands Gus a pill big
enough to choke a horse.
"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.
The doctor has been gone a while and Gus loses patience.
He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down
his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his
throat.
He hobbles back into the examining room.
Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water.
"Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20
minutes."

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~~ “I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas
With a note on it saying, toys not included.”

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~~ It seemed every time my brother Tim drove his
2009 Mustang late at night, he got pulled over by the police
for a registration and licence check.
One night as we drove home after picking up a pizza a few
blocks away, the police followed us up our street.
They put on their flashing lights just as we reached our house.
Not knowing what to do, Tim pulled into the driveway,
with the police right behind.
The officer directed his flashlight in the car, saw the pizza,
quickly assessed the situation and, apparently a little
embarrassed, asked, "Is your pizza hot?"
Tim, unnerved, replied, "No, we paid for it."

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~~ Ivan visits a doctor and says, 'Doctor I just dropped in
to tell you how much I benefited from your treatment.
Doctor Marvin replies, 'But you are not one of my patients.'
Ivan exclaims, 'I know, but my uncle Bill was,....
and I am his heir!

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~~ Tarzan and Jane were expecting their fourth child and were
pretty strapped for cash, so Tarzan decided to go into the
used-crocodile business.
Monday morning he got up early, shaved, put on his best loin
cloth, swung down to the river, and spent the whole day fighting,
haggling over and hassling with cranky crocs.
As dusk fell, a wan Tarzan swung back to the treehouse and
demanded, "Quick, Jane, a martini!"
Tossing it back he barked, "Another, Jane, on the double!"
Gulping it down, he held out his glass again.
"One more, Jane."
"Aw, honey, don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?" she
chided gently.
"You don't understand, Jane... it's a jungle out there."

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~~ Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.
One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night!
She went on and on and wouldn't stop!
The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just
don't listen.
How do you do that? Says the other.
It's easy! I turn off the light!

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~~ No man knows his true character until he has run out of
gas, purchased something on the installment plan,
and raised an adolescent.

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~~ While shopping, I bought some new organic doggie treats.
I gave the dog one and then left them out on the counter.
After work, I noticed the package was open and several
cookies were missing. I asked my kids about the missing
dog treats, but neither of them knew anything about it,
until I said that the treats actually looked like cookies,
"Ooh!" my son, Robert, looked up and said.
"I had four or five of them,. I was wondering why they had a
picture of a dog paw on them.

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~~ "You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking
younger."

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~~  I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of
burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state
his or her name and role for the court reporter.
"Leah Rauch, deputy prosecutor," I said.
"Linda Jones, probation officer."
"Sam Clark, public defender."
"James," said the teen who was on trial.
"I'm the one who stole the truck."

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~~ Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I
still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine
I gave you?
Patient: I sure did...the bottle said 'keep tightly closed.'

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~~ Pete: You always carry my photo in your handbag to

the office. Why?
Pat: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Pete: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Pat: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

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Todays Thought: "Alas! How dreary would be the world if there was no Santa Claus!...                 There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence."

 
 

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