Friday, March 25, 2016



“A friend of mine found out he has the bird flu.
He thinks he was a victim of fowl plague.”
A nurses' aide was helping a patient into the bathroom
when the patient exclaimed, "You're not coming in here
with me.
This is only a one-seater!"
Confusus say .....
You can pick your nose, and you can pick your ass.
 But don't pick your ass and then pick your nose.
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with
his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having
trouble with one of his medications.
"Which one?", asked the doctor...
"The patch," he replied, "the nurse told me to put on a new
one every six hours and I've run out of places to put it!"
The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what
he hoped he wouldn't see . . . Yes, the man had over fifty
patches on his body! Now the instructions include
removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
I have enough money to last me for the rest of my life...
Unless, of course, I want to buy something.
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them...
All these knights going on a quest for the Holy Grail was
a waste.
They should've just asked their moms.
Moms can find anything.
What Does The Philosophy Major Say A Year After
He Graduates?
"Would you like fries with that?"
I came from a very poor family.
The only time I tasted meat was when I bit my tongue.
Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it
in the backyard but you don't remember where.
Enjoy a quiet day indoors.