Down Hummingbird Lane

☺☺

 

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♥

 

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

 

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"I" before "E", except after "C". That's an efficient rule.
Very efficient.
Yep...efficient.......

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What did the cat do after eating cheese?
It waited by a mouse hole with baited breath.

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Apparently nine out of ten single women who sit at home
and have conversations with their cats are mentally
disturbed.
My dog's full of useful information like that.

 

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If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out,
how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!

 

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I never realized how short a month is until I started
paying rent...
 

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I went to my doctor and asked to be tested for HIV.
He asked me why I felt I needed to be tested at my age.
I said: "I'm sure I heard on the news that a man should
be tested after annual sex."

 

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Therapist: You need to focus on setting healthy boundaries.
 Me:
 *goes home*
 *puts broccoli around perimeter of donut box*
 *eats 12 donuts*

 

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STEPS TO FOLD A FITTED SHEET
1) PUT SHEET ON BED
2) FOLD BED

 

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Lucy plans elaborate jewel heist.
Lucy dons cat burglar suit to conceal identity.
Lucy pulls off heist.
Lucy in disguise with diamonds.

 

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Beauty and the Beast is my favorite story...
about how beauty is only skin deep and that what’s really
important is that you're rich and live in a giant castle.

 

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[breakup]
Who should get the cat?
"I don't know...let's see who he loves the most"
{3 weeks later}
Can you tell?
"Nope"

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