Friday, February 26, 2016

# 2990


If you took the Facebook IQ Test…
and it determined that you’re a Genius, the fact that you
participated in a Facebook test negates the results.
*Girl comes out in a slinky dress*
ME: Ooh that looks like fun
*I push her down the stairs*
Points To Ponder!
At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?

Do they have the word 'dictionary' in the dictionary?
Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
 [Spelling Bee]
Judge: Your word is... Grease.
Me: Grease is the word?
Judge: Yes.
Grease is the word that you heard....
"We can't put it off any longer Alan, our daughter needs
new shoes"
CENTIPEDE DAD: [staring out the window]
This is gonna bankrupt us Susan..
A girl at bus top spotted a handsome man and without
hesitation she told him "I love you!"
Man placed his hand on her head, "This love and
infatuation all are nothing.
Go back to your home and study hard so that you can
lead a successful life."
Man then placed a piece of paper in her hand,
"I have written some wisdom for you, read before you sleep...." and went away.
Girl went back to her house with tears and before sleeping
she opens the paper.
"Are you blind? my wife was standing behind me.....
anyways this is my number call me anytime.
By the way I love you too!"
Men Will Be Men!!!
It's actually not that difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators
One will see you later and one will see you after a while.....
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because
no one knew this level existed.
A blonde phoned a retail pharmacy to talk about her
She said to the pharmacist, "My doctor ordered this
prescription for me.
Your store filled it and gave me a bottle with 100 capsules
in it about two weeks ago.
I'm supposed to take one capsule every six hours and
I've been doing that.
This little packet came out of the bottle while I was getting
my capsule once.
The packet said 'Do not eat' on it...
That was four days ago, and I'm really hungry!"
Got so high last night we searched for my friend for half
an hour while he helped us look.
You know what I hate about NASCAR..?
All those hairy bellies sticking out of the bottom of
too small Dale Jr. T-shirts....
swilling Budweiser... spewing expletives...dirty Wranglers.....
greasy hair under dirty Quaker State caps...
and that's just the women !!