Thursday, January 28, 2016

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Drunk man staggering down the road comes across a
car broke down on the road, with a guy under the hood .
Drunk guy asks , wha, whats the prob problem?
Guy replies ; piston broke...
The drunk man says; me too...
 
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OF COURSE IT'S A GENUINE BEETHOVEN!
Look at those brush strokes, the stunning use of color.
 
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Gus told his wife he wanted a guitar to play while sitting
in the Jacuzzi.
“The next day she bought him an electric guitar.”
 
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I asked a magician how he did a particular trick and he
said: "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
"OK", I said, "just tell my wife."
 
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Two Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on a Mexican's door
and said: "We want to talk to you about Jesus."
The Mexican said: "Oh no, what's he done now?"
 
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Him: Favorite workout?
Me: Pilates.
Him: Why?
Me: Because we lay down for an hour.
 
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There's no time capsule quite like the pocket of a coat
that's been in the closet for a year.
 
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Headline News: Police use spike strips to stop self-driving
runaway car going in circles.
It's the first time police have stopped anything making
doughnuts.
 
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Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if
anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a
Whole Foods.
 
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Are your clothes meant to scream out "help" when you
squeeze yourself into them?
 
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Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
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