# 2930

☺☺

 

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♥

 I shaved my legs and now my socks keep falling down.
 Life is hard.

 

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My favorite part of the holiday party is getting to meet my
coworkers' dates & find out who chooses to put up with these
people for free.

 

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All these people on FB posting pics of their kids makes feel
so blessed...I don't have ugly children.
 

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Unroll wrapping paper.
 Shoo cat away
 Turn to get gift
 Shoo cat away
 Get tape
 Dammit cat
 Get tape
 Wrap up cat
 Wrap up gift
 Pet cat..

 

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Did you know it is scientifically proven that people with
more birthdays live longer?

 

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 Four Worst Feelings Ever:
 4. Losing your job
 3. Romantic break up
 2. Death of a loved one
 1. Needing to pee when you're stuck in traffic.......

 

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 Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over?
 *lies on floor, closes eyes tight*
 (in customer service line at Walmart)

 

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Christmas 12:15am]
Mrs. Claus: Shouldn't you have left by now?
Santa: [throwing couch cushions]
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY KEYS.....

 

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The only spanish I know is from the song Feliz Navidad,
so these last few days have been my time to shine.

 

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"Damnit!" -a burglar, discovering yet another drawer filled
with dead batteries, take-out menus, and pen caps.

 

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