Sunday, November 15, 2015

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Cat Vision.....
What a human sees: A Beauteful sandy beach..
what a cat sees: The worlds largest litter box..
WHAT A HUMAN SEES: A new couch..
WHAT A CAT SEES: A new scraching post..
What a human sees: a new Pet fish ..
What a cat sees: A Tasty snack..
 
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Carpe diem is Latin for"seize the day".
Anyone know the Latin for "throw it back?"
 
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After a week of agonizing physical training,
police academy cadets still hadn’t been
admitted to the firing range.
“I don’t get it,” huffed one trainee to another as
they pounded out yet another five-mile jog.
“What do you mean?”
“We still don’t know how to protect people
and property, but we’re getting real good at
running away.”
 
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Have you ever tried eating a clock?
It's very time consuming.
 
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People who skip church to watch football
probably do more praying than they would have
in church anyway.
 
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What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf?
You get eaten is what you get.
Stop upsetting scary animals.
 
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Q: Who was the wealthiest male financier in the
Bible?
A: Noah.
He was floating his stock while everybody else
was in liquidation.
 
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I've been ill with night terrors, nausea, dizziness,
hunger pains, cry fits, and a stutter.
According to Web MD, I have a date tonight.
 
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*sees Deer Crossing sign*
*further down the road sees deer nailed to
crucifix*
"Oh wow, they weren't lying"
 
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I love the smell of fabric softener through the
outside vents when people do the laundry.
I get a lot of restraining orders though.
 
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