Friday, October 23, 2015


If looks could kill.....

Nothing ruins a game of hide and seek like
when the cops let the K9 off the leash.
With the magic of makeup, I go from tired old
hag to tired looking old hag with eyeliner.
One Sunday a priest announced he was
passing out minature crosses made of palm
"Put this cross in the room where your family
argues most," he advised.
"When you look at it, the cross will remind you
that God is watching."
When the parishoners were leaving church,
a woman walked up to the priest, shook his
hand and said, "I'll take five."
I met my girlfriend online...
The only issue so did her ten other boyfriends
on Facebook.
Running away doesn't help you with your problems.
Unless you're fat.
Want to make a nerd's head explode?
Go to any site that posted the new Star Wars
trailer & write "Where's Captain Kirk?" in the
Star Wars:
A long, long time ago..............but somehow,
still in the future.
The napkins at Taco Bell aren't necessarily just
for wiping your face, as I found out today..
By the time you can make ends meet, they've
moved the ends.
Keep reaching for the stars but get a better