Wednesday, September 23, 2015


Someone has two much time on their hands....

Just taking it easy with my pet......

If you ever feel like a complete moron never
forget that  I managed to text my wife today
that she forgot her mobile at home.
You're welcome.
We've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West…
I'm surprised that other countries haven't built
a wall around the U.S.
The Surgeon General said more Americans
should start going on walks.
Then to everyone's surprise, he added,
"Even if you're just going out to have a smoke."
For her birthday, my wife said "I want something
that goes around my finger and is sparkly."
She'll love the LED yo-yo I got her.
Did you hear about the baby that was born in a
high tech. hospital?
It came out cordless!
My local supermarket uses four checkout lanes.
Unless it's really busy, then they use one.
Some choices are easier than others:
An emergency doctor's appt vs a much needed
hair appt.
At least if I die my hair will be cute.
Enjoying her vacation in Hawaii, Lisa called a
café to make reservations for 7 P.M.
Checking her book, the cheery hostess said,
"I'm sorry, but all we have is 6:45.
Would you like that?"
"That's fine, " Lisa said.
"Okay," the woman confirmed.
Then she added, "Just be advised that you may
have to wait 15 minutes for your table."
 [5-year-old and 3-year-old screaming at each
Me: Is that how your mom and I settle
5: You want me to sleep on the couch?
ATMs should have breathalyzers...