Well.. Microsoft messed me up...
My wife and I are getting along great at the moment..
She's not home..
I walked into my local diner for some grub..
"Can you cook me a breakfast my way?"
The cook behind the counter said, "Certainly,
what's your way?"
I said, "Well, first of all I want a fried egg..
It should be fried so hard that you can take it off
of the plate and bounce it..
The beans, they've got to be cold inside, hot outside..
I want the fried bread absolutely dripping in grease..
I want tomato skins - no tomatoes, just the skins..
The bacon has got to be so well done that when
you put the fork in it, it bends..
You got that?"
He says, "I haven't got time for all that."
I said, "You damn sure found time yesterday!"
My friend has been hanging out at the gym..
I told him he might want to consider boxer briefs..
I am soooo glad I chose plumbing as my career
When I visit family, they always want me to look at
some kind of plumbing problem..
And to think I almost became a gynecologist..
I missed going to the gym this morning.
That makes 247 days in a row.
Might wake up early and go for a jog..
I might also win the lottery..
Odds are about the same..