Monday, August 10, 2015



Q: What kind of lure must you use if you want to attract 
lawyers so as to shoot them?
A: You may use any as long as it yells every once in 
a while "I'm gonna sue!" or "Help, I've fallen and I 
can't get up!" 

Cats are the type of animal that, if they could, 
they would correct your grammar.

Instagram is down. 
Please call me so I can describe my breakfast to you.

Wanna know what it's like being married?
Chain yourself to a wild animal.
Now kick the animal. 

Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. 
It means… Without Information fighting every time! 
WIFE says No, it means – With Idiot For Ever.....

I've heard that the Black mane lion numbers are on the 
decline and could possibly become endangered or 
even worse, extinct......
I have to hurry and get me one before they're all gone. 

“The salesman claimed the shoes were made from 
alligator, but I knew it was a crock.”

A police officer Called into his the station on his radio. 
"I have an interesting case here. 
An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the 
floor she just mopped." 
"Have you arrested the woman?" 
"Not yet. The floor's still wet." 

“When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to 
the highest bidder. 
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, 
but auctions speak louder than birds.”

If insanity is doing the same thing over & over and 
expecting different results, I must be sane cause I 
don't even like doing things once. 

Dictionary is the only place where death comes before 
success before work,& divorce before marriage.
 but the Best part is Friend comes before relatives..