Thursday, August 6, 2015



A local church built a new sanctuary. 
They moved their very fine old pipe organ from to the 
new sanctuary. 
It was an intricate task that was completed successfully.
The local news heralded . . . "St. Paul Completes Organ

The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped 
naked and ran around the precinct shouting, 
"Save the whales!" 

Can you describe the jellyfish that stung you?
Yes, it looked like a lazy toddler tried to draw an octopus. 

Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear?
Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops.
Wife: I counted 19.
Me: Well I rounded down. 

So, if you get pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have 
to stay there? 

GOD: I call them Water Buffalo..
ANGEL: But they live on land..
GOD: Yep..
ANGEL: You really don't care anymore do you?
GOD: Not a bit.. 

What's the difference between a new husband and a 
new dog? 
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. 

Got up at 6:30am today. 
Did some yoga. 
Had a protein shake. 
Ran six miles. 
Started lying about everything.