A local church built a new sanctuary.
They moved their very fine old pipe organ from to the
It was an intricate task that was completed successfully.
The local news heralded . . . "St. Paul Completes Organ
The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped
naked and ran around the precinct shouting,
"Save the whales!"
Can you describe the jellyfish that stung you?
Yes, it looked like a lazy toddler tried to draw an octopus.
Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear?
Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops.
Wife: I counted 19.
Me: Well I rounded down.
So, if you get pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have
to stay there?
GOD: I call them Water Buffalo..
ANGEL: But they live on land..
ANGEL: You really don't care anymore do you?
GOD: Not a bit..
What's the difference between a new husband and a
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Got up at 6:30am today.
Did some yoga.
Had a protein shake.
Ran six miles.
Started lying about everything.