Friday, August 28, 2015



I wish all my electronics came with as
much memory as my wife..
My friend Zippy just passed The Bar Exam..
Hope I can get free drinks at whatever bar he lands a job at...
Posting a "No Trespassing" sign on your property
and someone steals the sign......
The stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for
some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half
attention to his replies..
"Are you feeling OK?" he asked..
"Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with
every man I meet," she admitted..
 "Is there a name for my condition?"
"Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and began
carrying her to the couch....... "It's called 'Good..
[visit to zoo]
See kids? All these animals have to live here in cages
because they woke daddy up early one time..
I ordered a wake-up call the other day..
The phone rang and a woman's voice said,
"What the hell are you doing with your life?"
I was surprised when my psychic friend complimented me
on the way I had cooked his steak..
"Well done" is rare from a medium..
Unfortunately, my wife wears a not-in-the mood ring..
My boss called me today and said, "How's it going at the
office today? Is everything okay?"
I told him, "Yep, all under control..
 It's been busy..
 I haven't had a break all day."
"Great. Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure, boss. What?"
"Speed up play; I'm in the foursome behind you!"
More than anything else, doughnuts have contributed
to my personal growth..