Friday, August 21, 2015



I thought this was amusing! 
"I think the scariest part of having triplets Is having to be 
pregnant for 27 months.." Kim Kardashian..

LIFE HACK: Tired of the neighbors' noisy kids playing in 
front of your house? 
Sign up for the sex offender registry...

Harry and Esther are out shopping one morning when
Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday
 What shall we buy for her? 
She said she would like something electric."
Harry replies, "How about a chair?"

 If you still had hope for kids today, a teenager in a bookstore 
pointed to a book title and asked me if it was about World 
War Two or Eleven...

Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by 
Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips.... 
Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."

why is Irish chilli called "the 239 bean soup"..? 
Well if it had one more bean in it, it would be two farty"... 
don't ya know..

I called the ASPCA to let them know that I found a suitcase 
that contained a cat and four kittens.. 
"Are they moving?" asked the lady on the other line.. 
"I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase.."   

5-year-old: I'll stop asking you to take our family to 
Me: You finally understand we can't afford it..
5: You should just send me..

I recently received a photo summons..
The police sent me a picture of me speeding.. 
So I sent them a picture of my money..