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How much to learn the thriller dance moves..
"Ma'am... this is senior citizens Zumba class!"
••
"Two women friends met up for coffee one morning..
One said: 'Be honest: Do you think my skin is
starting to show its age?'
'I can't tell,' said the other.
'There are too many wrinkles.'
••
My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get
out of this bean bag chair..
••
"Two old men were talking about their distant youths..
One said: 'Can you remember the name of the first
woman you ever kissed?'
His friend answered: 'I can't even remember the
name of the last one!'
••
Two blonds are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of
the blonds leans inside and asks the bus driver:
"Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No,
I'm sorry."
Hearing this, the other blond leans inside, smiles,
and twitters: "Will it take ME?..."
••
I found an email in my junk folder from a General
Somebody..
The subject of the email was TOP SECRET..
I chose not to open it because I'm such a rat and
I know I would give away the secret...
••
"Two elderly women were in a beauty [parlor] getting
their hair done when in walked a 21-year-old girl
with a low-cut blouse that revealed the tattoo of a
rose on one breast..
One woman leaned over to the other and whispered:
'Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years
she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket!'
••
Me: "This is shit, I'm changing the channel.."
Wife: "Leave the baby monitor alone.."
••
My wife insists I have Alzheimer's
and that my short term memory is gone..
My wife insists I have Alzheimer's,
and that my short term memory is gone.
My wife insists I have Alzheimer's,
and that my short term memory is gone..
••
I'm on the new Ass Chewing Diet......
piss off your boss and lose 20lbs in one session..
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