☺☺
♥
Gus was checking his itemised lawyers bill..
One item read:-
Spotted you across the street..
Crossed over to discuss a legal point in your case..
When I got there it was not you after all.
$20 dollars..
☺☺
An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the
impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the
Israel Philharmonic..
He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines
of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the
building..
Finally he turned to his escort and asked if the building was
named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author..
"No," his friend said, "it's named for Fredric Mann, from
Philadelphia."
"Really? I never heard of him..
What did he write?"
"A check."
impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the
Israel Philharmonic..
He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines
of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the
building..
Finally he turned to his escort and asked if the building was
named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author..
"No," his friend said, "it's named for Fredric Mann, from
Philadelphia."
"Really? I never heard of him..
What did he write?"
"A check."
☺☺
Q. If a peacock lays 123 eggs a day how many eggs will
there be in 456 days?
A. Peacocks don't lay eggs peahens do..
there be in 456 days?
A. Peacocks don't lay eggs peahens do..
☺☺
Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband?
Wife: he gives me no privacy..
Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true..
Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband?
Wife: he gives me no privacy..
Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true..
☺☺
I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still
get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice..
I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still
get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice..
☺☺
The invitation said BYOB, so it definitely felt awkward to
show up with all this beer at Bob's Bible study..
The invitation said BYOB, so it definitely felt awkward to
show up with all this beer at Bob's Bible study..
☺☺
Apparently a large amount of America's teenagers
are suffering from low self esteem and body image issues..
Not all of them though, it's just the depressed, fat and
ugly ones..
Apparently a large amount of America's teenagers
are suffering from low self esteem and body image issues..
Not all of them though, it's just the depressed, fat and
ugly ones..
☺☺
My wife and I are trying to conceive of how we ever came
up with the foolish idea to get married.....
up with the foolish idea to get married.....
☺☺
Ghost of Caesar: and what of my legacy?
what now bares my name? Buildings? Mountains?
Me: uhh remember how you used to love romaine lettuce?
what now bares my name? Buildings? Mountains?
Me: uhh remember how you used to love romaine lettuce?
☺☺
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time..
At the roulette table she says, "I have no idea what number
to play.."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her
age..
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 25..
The wheel is spun, and 30 comes up..
The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted..
At the roulette table she says, "I have no idea what number
to play.."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her
age..
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 25..
The wheel is spun, and 30 comes up..
The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted..
☺☺
Today, in the US, the average man has 1.7 children..
I was told this fact by my 0.3 brother..
I was told this fact by my 0.3 brother..
☺☺☺☺
