Monday, July 27, 2015


Couple One liners....... 
1) I make Bear fajitas, they're called "Sizzly bears"? 

2) Ancient Vikings had a secret method of 
communication. It was called Norse Code ....

You know what's interesting? 
Practically no one in this country wants to admit they 
watch porn, yet it's a multi-billion dollar industry. 

daddy can I tell you a secret?
Me: sure thing buddy
*grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't 
wash my hands... 

Five black men in purple dinner jackets & bow ties were 
found floating today under a pier in New Orleans. 
DNA tests later identified them as The Drifters. 
Rumor has it they were under the boardwalk, 
down by the sea.  

It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a 
million bucks..

Gus looking for love sent his picture to the Lonely Hearts Club.
The reply came back, “We are not that lonely.”

A Japanese man was caught in a revolving door.
He soon became disoriented. 

Teacher - "Peter, I am going to have to ban you from 
class permanently."
Peter - "why miss ?"
Teacher - "you disrupt the class, swear all day and 
worst of all you keep putting your hand up the girls 
skirts .
From now on you can drop your kid at school and pick 
him up at the normal time like the rest of the parents."

Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than throwing them 
a surprise party.

It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs 
telling deer where to cross the road.