A new device modeled after the Keurig coffee machine has
been developed that makes instant Jell-O shots.
“Where have you been all my life?” said Bill Cosby.
There is a new problem now.....
GLOBAL WARMING IS DEAD
CLIMATE CHANGE IS DEAD
Next problem is... drum roll please....
(They will figure how to tax that too..)
WHEN I WAS A KID, I wanted to be older.....
this CRAP is not what I expected..
Inside every older person is a younger person......
wondering what the hell happened..
She’s wound up tighter than the girdle of a
baptist minister’s wife at an all-you-can-eat
Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks
fighting for a parking place.
She’s uglier than a bucket full of armpits.
Bless her heart.
A French couple were touring America , one
week they were in the Kansas City stock yard
district , knowing that the best steak houses
were there they stopped at one .
After a few drinks they were ready to order hors
d' oeuvres, looking over the menu the lady asked
what the bull fries were, the waiter explained
they were fried bull testicles , oh she said I don't
think I would like that and kept looking , all of
a sudden she gets up grabs the husband by the
arm and runs out of the place ,outside the
husband all shocked said , dear whats wrong,
she says they have French fries in there !
*Forgot to pay his brain bill..
*Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels..
*His belt doesn't go through all the loops..
*If he had another brain, it would be lonely..
*No grain in the silo..
*Proof that evolution can go in reverse..
*Receiver is off the hook..
*Several nuts short of a full pouch..
*He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every
branch on the way down..
The secret to sustaining a happy marriage is to
keep the mystery alive.
So tonight I decided to clean something
PEOPLE TOLD ME To follow my dreams......
so I went back to bed..