••
♥
We the people are the rightful masters of the Congress and
the Courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to
overthrow the men who would pervert the Constitution.
--Abraham Lincoln--
••
Wrestling is obviously fake.
Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them
are wearing pants?
••
I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows.
I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a
mustache.
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My wife's got a great personality!
It's her other 6 personalities that I'm worried about.
••
I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning
and thought, "Wow! That guy must be really
blind."
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You should have seen my dad's face when I took him to the
eye doctor to operate on him for cataract.
The doctor did everything he could to make him relax,
but my dad's nervousness was at it's peak.
The doctor kept reassuring him.
I also stood next to him if it gave him any consolation.
It was what the doctor said after finishing with his first eye,
that made my Dad jump!
The good doctor said, "Well, only one eye left."
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I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on
things.
Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists
that aren't washing their hands?
••
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter
STEP 2: Receive email newsletter
STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life...
••
Never try to pay a prostitute with chocolate covered ice cream.
Apparently, there ARE limits to what someone will do for a
Klondike Bar.
••
Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but
he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a
small business.
It did well, and soon he had enough money to
send for the wife and children.
The work kept him very busy, so he never had
time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to
do business with him, even though his signature
consisted of two X's.
He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids
were transferred to private schools, the family
moved into a fancy house (with one staircase
going nowhere just for show) you get the idea.
One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to
drop by.
"So vat's the problem? Greenberg asked, a bit
anxiously.
Smith waved a bunch of checks at him.
"Perhaps nothing, he said, "but I wanted to be on
the safe side.
These recent checks of yours are all signed
with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2.
Greenberg looked embarrassed.
"I'm sorry about making trouble, he said, "but
my wife said that since I'm now such a high-class
rich guy, I should have a middle name!
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