Thursday, May 28, 2015



Some news....
A cascade of mishaps followed one Orlando area driver Monday
making the it memorable for all the wrong reasons. 
WKMG: “A truck driver crashed into a fire hydrant Monday in 
Apopka,… on Yvonne Street, causing the street to flood and 
opening a hole in the roadway. 
Neighbors said the driver pulled into a driveway after hitting 
the hydrant, got out and inspected the damage.  
The truck doors locked, however, so the driver kicked out the 
back window to get back into the truck, neighbors said.  
They added that the driver tried to leave the area but drove into 
the hole.”
And how was your day?

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. 
I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses 
begin with Miller or Budweiser than Kay. 

To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the 
doctor says, "Guess how many fingers." 

India launched a rocket to Mars this morning. 
That's a heck of a place to put a call center. 

Adam and Eve were the first people... 
to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading 

My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. 
She's right: I'm looking for the mute button. 

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, 
"You know, honey. I think there might be some 
real merit to what this article says; that the 
intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling 
block to the son." 
"Well, thank heaven," said the wife. 
"At least our James has nothing standing in 
his way."

I'm not allowed on cruise ships anymore. 
It all started with that whole "poop deck" misunderstanding. 

Her: Well, I know I told you that.
Me: *closes eyes*
Her: What are you doing?
Me: Checking for it in my spam folder. 

When my son was old enough to talk, he asked 
me what a stable was.
I thought for a moment how to explain it to him 
in terms he could understand, then told him, 
“It’s something like your sister’s room, but 
without that stereo.”