Tuesday, May 19, 2015


Reading this blog is like sitting at the cool table in the 
cafeteria at a mental hospital. 

Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. 
They found out today that a full 7 minutes of his life wasn't 
photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook. 

It's all about perspective.... 
The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the 
ship's  kitchen. 

I love the look on people's faces, standing soaked in the 
rain at the bus stop as I drive past. 
It's partly why I became a bus driver.

People with the loudest car audio
 systems usually have the worst taste
 in music.

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't notice. 
Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget...

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after 
looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's 
outfit, a Frenchmaids outfit, and a police woman’s uniform, 
he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, 
she's not for him...

There is a new gym in town called "Resolutions". 
 For the first two weeks of the year it's a gym, the rest of the 
time it's a bar. 

Thank you for your automated e-mail from "do not reply". 
Permit me to introduce you to my automated filter, 
"did not read." 

3 ways to catch a tiger these days... 
Chinese method: Chase the tiger, tire it down, capture it. 
Hunter's method: Allow the tiger to chase you, when it draws 
near, trap and capture it. 
Police method: Catch a cat and beat it until it accepts its a tiger..

My earliest memory is nine months before I was born. 
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.