Red Sox rookie Clarence Blethen thought he looked older
and meaner if he took his false teeth out when he pitched.
He forgot to put them back in his mouth when he was batting.
While sliding into second base to break up a double play,
his own teeth bit him in the butt.
It's just dawned on me!!
My dog sleeps most of the day.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. if any medical needs arise.
He lives in a house that is much larger than he needs.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me
like a brick.........
I think my dog is a member of Congress!
How a shy guy can pick up a girl......
First: A shy guy just needs to get a Lamborghini with the pop
Second: He just rolls up to a hot girl, and just waves to her
to get into the car.
Third: Honk the horn and repeat the wave motion for her to
get into the till she get's into the car.
Don't belive me--get a Lamborghini..
A girl says, "I'm scared you will find another girl to love."
The guy replies, "yeah, I will in about ten years, and she
will call you "mom."
If you became invisible, what would you do first?
I’d go to Paris, find a performing street mime
and beat him to death; the round of applause
he’d get would be astounding.
Oscar a silly question, get a silly answer!
And the Lord said unto John 'Come forth, and receive
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
Two kids are talking to each other.
One says, "I'm really worried.
My dad works all day to give us a nice home and good food.
My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me.
I'm worried sick!"
The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about?
Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
The first kid asks, "What if they try to escape?"
I predict that in the future, Youtube,Twitter, and Facebook
will merge to create one super time-wasting site called
What do you call a goat dressed like a clown?
A silly billy.