Thursday, April 9, 2015



Comcast is doing home security now... 
so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there 
next Tuesday between the hours of 12 and 4pm......

Saw a six foot bunny at the mall the other day. 
Either it was Easter or the doctor screwed up my meds again.

Life lessons......
Some of the best life lessons come with bleeding, stitches, 
scars, broken bones and permanent mental and physical 

 Q. Why don't retirees mind being called 
senior citizens?
 A. The term comes with a 10% discount. 

My friend has canceled our lunch plans 
three days in a row. 
I'm starting to think she really doesn't like lunch.

The crime ring stole the information from 
hundreds of thousands of websites. 
Experts recommend that you change all your 
passwords just to be safe. 
I have to say I would almost rather have all my 
information stolen than to have to change all my 

We got two inches of snow last night and now I 
can't find my Smart Car. 

"Daddy, what happens when we die?" 
"You get married and have kids." 

My daughter said she needs a bag of Skittles for 
a class project. 
Starting to get suspicious. 

Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks 
what I'm doing. 
Google asks where I am. 
The internet has turned into my girlfriend. 

I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentines Day. 
The vacuum cleaner should be working soon.