Wednesday, April 15, 2015


According to a new report, there is a shrine in Japan solely 
dedicated to hemorrhoids. 
Seating is limited, but usually available.

If every day is a gift, I'd like a receipt for Monday.
 I want to exchange it for another Friday. 

In a new interview, the president discussed the upcoming 
He said that Hillary Clinton is going to do great as a presidential 
When asked how Biden would do, Obama said, "Hillary's 
going to do great." 

I just dozed off for a minute and woke up freaking out because 
I thought I missed my exit. 

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the 
things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do, so throw 
off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade 
winds in your sails. 
Explore, Dream, Discover." 
- Mark Twain  

Unicorns are real, 
they are just fat and we call them rhinos. 

Son: Dad there is some one on the door to collect 
donations for a swimming pool.
Dad: Give him a glass of water.

All you have to do to spoil a good day is to figure out how 
much of your salary will be withheld for taxes.....

You know, I threw a boomerang a few years ago. 
I now live in constant fear.

The IRS says they can't give back 80 million 
dollars in refunds because they don't have 
addresses for the taxpayers. 
Yeah, they can't find you when they owe YOU