Tuesday, February 3, 2015



Only in America........... 
do we accept weather predictions from a dirty 
rodent but deny climate change evidence from 
highly educated scientists. 

Just can't Please Some people.....
For years Americans have complained to the 
Government that their voices weren't being heard.
Now they are freaking out over the NSA.

I met a blonde in a bar last night and I asked, 
“What’s your name?”
“It’s K,” she replied.
“That’s sexy,” I said, “What’s it short for?”
She smiled and answered, “So I can spell it.”

A rare weather phenomenon threatens America 
with brutal cold and a chance of thundersnow.

Son: Dad, what's a religious traitor?
 Father: A person who leaves our church and 
joins another.
 Son: And what is a person who leaves another 
church and joins ours?
 Father: A convert, son, a blessed convert.

An ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet. 
Oh my god, that damn thing would never shut up. 
But the bird was cool.

Q: What do you call a clean idiot? 
A: Soap on a dope. 

A new business was opening, and one of the 
owner’s friends sent flowers for the occasion. 
But when the owner read the card with the 
flowers, it said. “Rest in Peace”
The owner was little upset and called the florist 
to complain. 
After he had told the florist about the obvious 
mistake, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for 
the mistake, but rater than getting angry, you 
should imagine this: Somewhere there is a 
funeral taking place today, and they have flowers 
with a note saying, “Congratulations on you new 

Dog (curled up, napping): I never poop on the 
carpet and I love cats.
Wife: Is the dog talking in its sleep?
"Shhh let sleeping dogs lie." 

Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow 
Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to 
Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on 
Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and 
she ended up giving me an ear infection.