Wednesday, February 11, 2015



One crazy day,in the clinic saw me hand a young patient a
 urine sample container and tell him to fill it up in the bathroom. 
A few minutes later, he returned to my nurse’s station with 
an empty cup. 
“I didn’t need this after all,” he said. 
“There was a toilet in there.” 

Two fleas where running across the top of a 
cereal packet?
"Why are we running so fast?" said one
Because it says "Tear along the dotted line" 

Time for a poem....
There was an old man of Madrid 
Who went to an auction to bid. 
In the first lot they sold 
Was an ancient commode--- 
And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

There once was a girl named Miss Nokes, 
Who showed her behind to the folks. 
Everyone cheered, 
And a vendor appeared 
Selling hotdogs and popcorn and Cokes. 

Do you know about the madman going into a 
psychiatrist's office shaking imaginary bugs off 
his head and screaming "get them off me". 
The shrink starts screaming, "stop throwing them 
at me"

When the last mule-packing unit of the U.S. 
Army was eliminated at Ft. Carson, Co. in 1956,
some of its soldiers wept. 
They said the U.S. wouldn't win another war 
without the mule.
So far, they're right.....

"Who are you to judge me!!??".... 
probably wasn't the best thing to say in Traffic 

There are two kinds of people. 
Those who wake up in the morning and say, 
"Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in 
the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? 
A. Because he was pissed off! 

“The church insisted on a new seminary graduate. 
They were looking for greener pastors.”