Monday, February 16, 2015



April Fool's Day - Here are 5 pranks you can play on people..
1. Conference call two people then don’t say anything,
just listen. 
 2. Place a ‘house for sale’ ad in the newspaper for someone’s 
 3. Paint the tips of someone’s pen and pencil with clear nail 
polish so none of them work. 
 4. Hide a small radio in the ceiling tiles above someone’s desk
 and turn it on very softly. 
 5. Fill someone’s hair-dryer with baby powder. 

Your so Broke...
Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep 
breath outside a restaurant. 
You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 
You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a 
psychic bond with Abe Lincoln. 
Long distance companies don't call you to 
switch anymore. 
You look at your roommate and see a large 
fried chicken in tennis shoes. 

We have enough "youth". 
How about a fountain of "smart"? 

Just read the following on the FOX news website:
"Explosives and a marijuana farm were 
discovered at a Southern California home 
doubling as a child day care center after a man 
blew off his hand while mixing homemade 
explosives, authorities said Thursday." 
You can say what you like about Americans, 
they can certainly teach us a thing or two 
about multi-tasking. 

Two Hippies are walking down a railroad track 
One Hippie says "This is a really long  staircase!" 
The other Hippie says "I don't mind the stairs, 
it's this low handrail that's killing me."

“When you purchase stuff south of the border, 
you don't Peso much.”

A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is 
looking for a place to stay. 
He hears that room and board is available from 
the three old spinsters at the edge of town, 
but is advised they are very picky in letting 
strangers stay there.  
He decides to chance it, and limps on up to 
the front door.
His knock is answered by Gladys.  
"What do you want, sonny?" she asks him.
"Ma'am, I'm just looking for a hot meal and a 
room for the night," he answers.
The other two old spinsters gather around the 
door......  "Who's out there? 
Does he look decent?" they ask.
Gladys says, "It's a soldier, and he's got a 
Purple Heart on."
The other two spinsters giggle and say, 
"The hell with what color it is...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Quacker who?
Quacker another bad joke and I'm leaving!

Men are like fine wine. 
They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's
job to stomp on them and keep them
in the dark until they mature into something 
you'd want to have dinner with.

“Do birds know where they're going when they fly 
south for the winter or do they just wing it every time?”