Wednesday, January 21, 2015


A police officer made the mistake of arresting a 
judge who went to a costume party dressed as a 
The incident taught the cop a valuable lesson - 
that you should never book a judge by his cover. 

The President has invited a handful of average 
Americans who wrote him letters about their 
lives to his annual State of the Union address in 
D.C. tonight. 
Said Barack, “That’ll teach ‘em to write me letters.” 

My Muslim neighbour has the worst job. 
He's Allah's left-hand man. 

My wife said "you treat this place like a hotel".
She will regret that when I give her a low score 
on TripAdvisor for "rude staff'"! 

I joined a ballroom dancing club and told them 
I was an expert dancer. 
They soon found out I couldn't dance at all and 
accused me of bearing waltz fitness.

Church Bulletin Bloopers......
•A worm welcome to all who have come today.
•Don't miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian 
Martian Arts.
•Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
•If you would like to make a donation, 
fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the 
collection basket.
•Applications are now being accepted for 
2 year-old nursery workers.

Children are a great comfort in your old age.
And they help you get there faster too. 

On Monday, the Pope said Mexicans should not 
feel they have to breed “like rabbits” because of 
the church’s ban on contraception. 
“Not cool, dude,” said the Easter Bunny. 

Marriage is – The joining of two people, one who 
never remembers birthdays, and the other who 
never forgets them.

My sister was with two men in one night. 
She could hardly walk after that. 
Can you imagine?... Two dinners!

I have decided to leave my past behind, so if 
I owe you money, I'm SORRY, but I've moved on.