Our fire dept......
••
♥
Who ever said technology would replace all paper
obviously hasn't tried wiping their but with an
IPad.
••
My doctor warned me that my addiction to my
laptop could damage my health..
So he's trying to wean me off it with a course of
tablets..
••
The Daily Mail has a feature about a woman who
had a party to say farewell to her breasts before
a double mastectomy.
I had a similar party to say goodbye to my
testicles....... A wedding reception.
••
A recent study has found that women who carry
a little extra weight live longer than the men who
mention it.
••
I just nearly talked myself out of a speeding ticket
by telling the policewoman she looked really
stunning.
But then i messed it up by saying, "And thats not
the drink talking either."
••
A customer at a counter of a garden ornament
shop said to the cashier, "Give me four of those
pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of
those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over
grandmas in bloomers."
The cashier replied, "That'll be eight dollars for
the pinwheels, ten for the flamingos, six for the
sunflowers, and an apology for my wife!"
••
Flex told his wife he wanted a guitar to play
while sitting in the Jacuzzi.
“The next day she bought him an electric guitar.”
••
I eat my tacos over a Tortilla.
That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another
taco.
••
Lawyer-Client Relations....
Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers
and clients from having sex?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for
essentially the same service.
••
My doctor warned me that my addiction to my
laptop could damage my health..
So he's trying to wean me off it with a course of
tablets..
••
One day a teacher was talking about marriage
in class…
Teacher : What kind of wife would you like
Johnny?
Johnny : I would want a wife like the moon…
Teacher : Wow !! what a choice…do you want
her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?
Johnny : No, I want her to arrive at night and
disappear in the morning....
••••
