I went to a really tough high school.
We had our own coroner.
I tried reading a book about natural fertilizers
for your garden but it was full of crap.
A man and his wife were sitting in the living
room discussing a “Living Will”...
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a
vegetative state, dependent on some machine
and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw
out all the beer.
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way
for my wife to start a conversation.
I was going to buy a book on curing
procrastination but I put of until tomorrow....
or may be the day after.
MOVIE RATINGS EXPLAINED:
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The good guy gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl.
X: Everybody gets the girl!
“If you can't differentiate a blue collar and white
collar worker by his hands, it is callous
Why won't cannibals eat
Way to bitter.
I was in the line at Starbucks this morning..
The man getting served in front of me asked for
"Sorry sir, but we're out of mochas."
The guy was fuming.
"I have a mocha every morning when I come in
here!" he raged.
"I'll just have to have a latte!"
He went and sat down.
I went to the counter and said, "I'll have a large
latte too, please."
They asked me for my name.
I asked why they needed it and they told me
that they'd write it on my cup and shout it when
it was ready.
So I told them my name was Mocha.
I've been attending lots of seminars in my
retirement...... They're called naps.
Bobby getting dressed:
Sue: Purple and green don't go together.
Bobby: It works for the Joker.
Sue: My point exactly.