Monday, January 26, 2015



The implant is specifically designed to be injected 
in the forehead. 
When properly installed, it will instantly allow 
the terrorist to speak to ALLAH. 
It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 to 
.50 cal. 
The exact size of the implant will be selected by a 
well-trained and highly skilled technician, who 
will also make the injection. 
No anesthesia is required. 
The implant is likely to be painless. 
Side effects, like headaches, nausea, aches or 
pains are extremely temporary. 
Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the 
injection site. 
In most cases, it’s not noticeable.

Thinnest Books....
1.The Book Of Virtues By Bill Clinton.. 
2.The Amish Phone Directory.. 
3.Mike Tyson's Guide To Dating Etiquette.. 
4.George Foreman's Big Book Of Baby Names.. 
5.French Hospitality.. 
6.Everything Women Know About Men ..
7.Everything Men Know About Women.. 

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassailabled 

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, 
can go home. 
One boy throws his bag out the window. 
Teacher: who just threw that?! 
Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 

When I married my wife, her father promised me 
a cow and an acre of land. 
20 years later, I'm still waiting for the land. 

It has been reported that the Tooth Fairy 
has collapsed and died of a heart attack today 
after accidentally getting lost and wandering 
onto the set of the Jerry Springer Show.

Actual Headlines;
Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out 
- Tallahassee Bugle 
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link 
- Cornell Daily Sun 
Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff 
- US Paper 
Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete 
- Miami Herald 
Bar Trying To Help Alcoholic Lawyers 
-Seattle Times 
Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee 
- Toronto Star 

Everyday I beat my own previous record for 
number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports 
that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 
doctors is an idiot.

Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the 
street from the retirement home? 
A: So all the old people can see their futures!