You arn't going anywhere....
Damn, we see this often....
"If a man has a beautiful secretary, do you
suppose that will cause him to take more interest
in his business?" asked Mr. Piglatch.
"I don't know whether he will take more interest
in his business," said Mr. Peckton, thoughtfully,
"but his wife will."
Fact: Children can hear at a higher frequency
How no one has developed an effective
child-repellant yet is beyond me...
A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a
potential employee's application and notices that
the man has never worked in retail before.
He says to the man, "For a man with no
experience, you are certainly asking for a high
"Well Sir," the applicant replies, "the work is so
much harder when you don't know what you're
We are the last generation whose
baby photos weren’t taken on phones...
If you work as a Security Guard in
Samsung store, does that make you
the Guardian Of Galaxy?
A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
The crow answered, "Of course, help youself."
So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow
Suddenly a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing
nothing you must be sitting very, very high up.
One on EVERY corner!
In the historic first manned mission to Mars,
two Astronauts were charting the Martian surface.
"Look at that," said one to the other, "how
beautiful this alien landscape is, untouched by
At that point, he was cut off, as he found his radio
communications knocked out by unknown
Using an emissions detector, they followed the
source of the interference until they reached the
rim of a crater.
"Do you see what the source of that noise is?"
asked the first astronaut.
"I don't know," said the second, "but it might
be coming from that Starbucks behind you."
In the news: Today's psychic conference is
canceled due to unforeseen events.
For months the archaeologists had been tolling
deep in the Amazon jungle, clearing creepers and
rampant, choking undergrowth from the faint
traces of a Lost City.
Their excitement mounted as the place`s
extraordinary purpose became evident.
Broad, winding avenues of giant flagstones had
deep, narrow, perfectly circular holes every few
It had to be .... a golf course!
Any doubt was dispelled by the discovery of stone
panels depicting human figures using primitive
prototypes of irons or putters.
Next step was to interrogate local Indian
tribesmen about traditions associated with the
prehistoric golf club.
And yes, the tribes did have legends of Old Ones
who followed a daily ritual with the clubs and
balls, until routed by tragedy.
Watching a particularly wrinkled, aged elder
chattering to the interpreter, a Professor
"If only we knew why they gave up golf, making
it vanish for centuries before rediscovery."
The interpreter nodded eagerly and relayed the
The elder, surprised, made a sweeping gesture
at the jungle, and replied tersely.
"Simple," was the translation, "they couldn`t
afford the green fees."
I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t
try this at home”, so I tried it at my