Wednesday, December 17, 2014


You arn't going anywhere....

Damn, we see this often....

Nice job...Bucky....


"If a man has a beautiful secretary, do you 
suppose that will cause him to take more interest
in his business?" asked Mr. Piglatch.
"I don't know whether he will take more interest 
in his business," said Mr. Peckton, thoughtfully, 
"but his wife will."

 Fact: Children can hear at a higher frequency 
than adults. 
How no one has developed an effective 
child-repellant yet is beyond me...

A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a 
potential employee's application and notices that 
the man has never worked in retail before. 
He says to the man, "For a man with no 
experience, you are certainly asking for a high 
wage. " 
"Well Sir," the applicant replies, "the work is so 
much harder when you don't know what you're 
doing! "

We are the last generation whose
 baby photos weren’t taken on phones...

If you work as a Security Guard in
 Samsung store, does that make you
 the Guardian Of Galaxy?

A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing all day. 
A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, 
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day 
The crow answered, "Of course, help youself." 
So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow 
and rested. 
Suddenly a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit 
and ate it. 
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing 
nothing you must be sitting very, very high up. 

One on EVERY corner!
In the historic first manned mission to Mars, 
two Astronauts were charting the Martian surface. 
"Look at that," said one to the other, "how 
beautiful this alien landscape is, untouched by 
At that point, he was cut off, as he found his radio 
communications knocked out by unknown 
Using an emissions detector, they followed the 
source of the interference until they reached the 
rim of a crater. 
"Do you see what the source of that noise is?" 
asked the first astronaut. 
"I don't know," said the second, "but it might 
be coming from that Starbucks behind you." 

In the news: Today's psychic conference is 
canceled due to unforeseen events. 

For months the archaeologists had been tolling 
deep in the Amazon jungle, clearing creepers and 
rampant, choking undergrowth from the faint 
traces of a Lost City. 
Their excitement mounted as the place`s 
extraordinary purpose became evident. 
Broad, winding avenues of giant flagstones had 
deep, narrow, perfectly circular holes every few 
hundred yards. 
It had to be .... a golf course! 
Any doubt was dispelled by the discovery of stone 
panels depicting human figures using primitive 
prototypes of irons or putters.
Next step was to interrogate local Indian 
tribesmen about traditions associated with the 
prehistoric golf club. 
And yes, the tribes did have legends of Old Ones 
who followed a daily ritual with the clubs and 
balls, until routed by tragedy. 
Watching a particularly wrinkled, aged elder 
chattering to the interpreter, a Professor 
murmured wistfully. 
"If only we knew why they gave up golf, making 
it vanish for centuries before rediscovery."
The interpreter nodded eagerly and relayed the 
The elder, surprised, made a sweeping gesture 
at the jungle, and replied tersely. 
"Simple," was the translation, "they couldn`t 
afford the green fees." 

I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t
 try this at home”, so I tried it at my
 neighbors house.