A student was asked to write a signboard for the
traffic rules near the school....
He wrote: Drive carefully!
Don't kill the students......wait for the Teachers..
“Workers in an upholstery business demanded a
wage hike to cushion the high cost of living.”
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday
gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water
He squealed with delight and headed for the
I was not so pleased.
I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you.
Don't you remember how we used to drive you
crazy with waterguns?"
Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."
You might be a red neck if you refer to the 5th
grade as "my senior year."
A Sunday school teacher asked little Susie,
"Who's your favorite person in the Bible?"
Susie said, "King Solomon."
"Can you tell us why?"
"Because he was so nice to ladies and to animals."
"What do you mean?"
"He had six hundred wives and three hundred
On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another
man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay.
It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."
I was asked how long I had worked for my
I said ever since they threatened to fire me.
People often look at me like I'm mental.
They just doesn't understand that I enjoy
"Diamonds are forever. But so is herpes."
This is why I never get hired to write advertising
A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking
along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them.
The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby.
"Now do you see why it's important to learn a
Being a worm must great.
Its like "wow that dirt was great I hope there's
more" and there always is....