Monday, November 17, 2014

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So Rosetta scientists have waited ten years 
and spent millions to finally get a few pictures 
back of the grey barren and lifeless world of a 
Comet. 
They should have just typed in "Detroit " on 
Google street view.

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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, 
‘Cough!’

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A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door 
last night and my wife made me go to the door. 
The Jehovah's Witness said, "Have you got some 
spare time to talk?" 
I said, "Unfortunately not, I'm off to the bar, 
but my wife has. 
Come in, she's behind the couch." 

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Grandma died because she farted when blowing 
out 103 candles. 

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Secret to longevity: don't drink, don't womanize, 
and don't smoke.
Will it really make your life longer?
No, but it will certainly seem it lasts forever.

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A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's;
 she changes it more often...

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"Doctor, doctor, will this ointment you've given 
me clear up my spots?" 
"You know me, I never make rash promises!" 

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"There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. 
Its knack lies in learning to throw yourself at the 
ground and miss. ... Clearly, it is this second part, 
the missing, that presents the difficulties."

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CAR IN DITCH 
DRIVER IN TREE 
THE MOON WAS FULL 
AND SO WAS HE. 
Burma Shave 

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AT INTERSECTIONS 
LOOK EACH WAY 
A HARP SOUNDS NICE 
BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY 
Burma Shave 

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Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep 
with the enemy.  

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