Tuesday, November 18, 2014

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"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - 
and most fools do."
       -- Dale Carnegie

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For Sale; FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. 
WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE 
SMELL.

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Joan and her neighbor are talking about their 
daughters. 
Joan says, "My daughter is at the university. 
She's very bright, you know. 
Every time we get a letter from her we have to go 
to the dictionary."
Her neighbor says, "You are lucky, every time we 
hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.

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Last night a friend asked if he could crash on my 
couch. 
I had to explain to him I was married now and 
that's where I sleep. 

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I got a date ! 
O.K. so I was posting on socialist mingle for a 
huge hootered GILF, and hot dam ! 
I get Nancy P. on the line , she wants to have a 
three way with some dork named Gruber....

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A wise Chinese man once said, 
"If a dog barks it's undercooked" 

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"The world is full of willing people, some willing 
to work, the rest willing to let them."
       -- Robert Frost

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A guy is walking down the street with his friend. 
He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy."
His friend replies, "How's that?"
"It's like this -- my hair line is in recession, 
my stomach is a victim of inflation, 
and the combination of these factors is putting 
me into a deep depression." 

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When a  man opens the door of his car for his 
wife, you  can
be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the 
wife is.    

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DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR 
VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK 
PUMPED. 

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I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid 
Man retire they'll open up a small demolition 
business together. 

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