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"If men were angels, no government would be
necessary."
-- James Madison
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Hamburger Helper only works
if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs
help.
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If you love a balloon, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a
balloon.
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Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher.
"Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind
of language.
Where did you hear such talk, anyway?"
"My daddy said it," he responded.
"Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher.
"You don't even know what it means."
"I do, too!" Little Johnny retorted.
"It means the car won't start."
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Yo momma is so short, you can see her feet on
her driver's license.
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Dad, will you help me with my homework?"
"I'm sorry," replied the father.
"It wouldn't be right."
"Well, " said the boy, "at least you could try."
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Vegetarians live up to nine years longer.
Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless,
baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
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Reading an article that said, "spice up your love
life”.
One of the suggestions was to make love in a car
wash.
It’s also the perfect way to ruin a church fund
raiser
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Q: Why are many Jewish girls still single these
days?
A: They have yet to meet Dr. Right.
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In my experience, the quickest way to escape
Jury Duty?
As they read out the charges, yell out,
"Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"
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WARNING: if you get a message from me
with a link asking you to look at my tinned meat
DON'T OPEN IT.. it’s SPAM....
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