••
♥
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user...
Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".
Lady: I can't see your computer...
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your
computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on ur computer
from my computer???!!
Help desk: there is an icon labelled
"My Computer" on your computer...
double click on it...
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on
my computer ??!!!
••
My teeth are so crooked they should
run for office.
••
Be afraid! In fact very afraid, or be yourself.
Technology can hurt you.
A wife was calling out for her husband from the
kitchen to help her with the dishes, but did not
get a response.
She went looking for him in the bed room and
found hubby asleep on his files, tired of work.
She walked closer to him, looked at the innocent
face, played with his hair softly, sweetly and....
then suddenly.... slapped his face!!!
The husband got up with a shock and asked,
"what happened??!?!"
That's when the wife showed him his phone
which showed: Last seen on whatsapp 1 minute
ago.
••
One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is
to wait 15 minutes in your car before going
anywhere.....
••
A husband went to the police station to file a
"missing person" report for his missing wife:
Husband :-I lost my wife, she went shopping &
hasn't come back yet.
Inspector :-What is her height?
Husband :-I never checked.
Inspector :-Slim or healthy?.
Husband :-Not slim, can be healthy.
Inspector :-Color of eyes?
Husband :-Never noticed.
Inspector :-Color of hair?
Husband :-Changes according to season.
Inspector :-What was she wearing?
Husband :-Not sure whether it was a dress or a
suit.
Inspector :-Was she driving?
Husband :-yes.
Inspector :-Color of the car? . . . . .
Husband :-black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0
litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power
teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic
transmission with manual mode.
And it has full LED headlights, which use light
emitting diodes for all light functions and has a
very thin scratch on the front left door .............
and then the husband started crying …
Inspector:-Don't worry sir,.....
We will find your car.....
••
The soldier asked for a furlough, so that he might
get married.
"How long have you known the Girl?"
His superior asked.
"A Week."
"Why, my lad, that is hardly long enough.
I suggest that you wait a couple of months, and
then, if you still want to get married, I shall grant
you a furlough."
In two months the soldier was back, reminding
his superior of his promise.
"So you still want to get married?
My, My ! I did not suppose that a young man
would stay interested in the same girl for such a
long time nowadays."
"I know, sir...... But it is not the same girl, sir."
••
Tried to signal to my wife across the food court
to buy me an extra McNuggets and now I’m in
3 gangs and have to kill someone named “Snake”.
••
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military
training...
I set off a roach bomb... they diffused it!
••
Everything is drive-through.
In California they even have a burial service
called Jump-In-The-Box.
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