Thursday, August 30, 2012

Good Morning.....
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I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a
grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking
about with a coffin.
3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!
 
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My dad was a staunch republican, voting the conserative
ticket until the day he died..
Now he votes democratic.
 
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A married couple was watching volleyball game
at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers.
They were being very affectionate.
The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and
nibbling on his ear.
He had his hands on her chest.
 Looking at them, the wife said to her husband
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game."
 Husband said, "Better watch them!
You already know how to play volleyball."
And that is the last thing I remember saying... Doctor.
 
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Know what's ironic?
Getting hit by a Dodge .....
 
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I started smoking in high school.
I never thought I'd get hooked.
I always thought, by the time I graduate,
thats it: no more smoking.
But now I'm 33.
There's no way I'm ever going to graduate.
 
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I was upset with my wall climbing abilities,
I just couldn't seem to get a grip.
 
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A new scientific study has shown that drinking alcohol
and smoking cannabis can affect your short-term memory.
 It may also affect your short-term memory.
Funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible,
but 8 beers a day seems necessary.