Sunday, July 31, 2011

Mostly cloudy.
Scattered showers and thunderstorms in the afternoon.
Highs around 90.  I'm reading 72º now....

I got the hummers a new feeder...
they have been hitting it heavy.....

"Toad in the hole" breakfast just for Pete....

I can

Okay..... good enough....

Looks like he's got something
Warm...running down his leg..... look like a fighter.......

The Cat is
What's new??

Wow Buddy... looks like you drank too much.....

Scares the Hell out of alot of us.....

What can you say??

Well, time to go.... if I can find the Key......

~  A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,
"Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from
San Francisco to New York City?"
 The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

~  Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case.
"Look," said one to the other, "let’s be honest with
each other."
"Okay, you first," replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.

~   I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one:
with the words, I'm dumb....... Thats it.
That way in 10 years, when you go, Why did I get this?,
you can be like, Oh, I'm dumb!

~  "Hi Mum I'm back"
"And where just have you've been all afternoon?"
"Playing down by the railway line with my half-sister"
"She's not your half......."

*  `You seem to be in some distress,' said the kindly
judge to the witness.
`Is anything the matter?'
 `Well, your Honor,' said the witness, `I swore to tell
the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,
but every time I try, some lawyer objects.'

*  Three old ladies met on the street on a very stormy
The wind was so strong and loud that they had difficulty
in hearing each other.
"It's windy," said one.
"No, it's Thursday," said the next.
"So am I," said the third. "Let's go and have a drink!"

*  is this rude.....
Dressing up like the grim reaper and walking around in
the old folks home ?

*  Some newly-married friends were visiting us when
the topic of children came up.
 The redhead bride said she wanted three children,
while the young husband demurred,
saying two would be enough for him.
 They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until
the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying
boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a
 Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted,
"Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."

*  Answering Machine Message 97.....
"Camptown Races":
I can't come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.
Leave your message when you hear the tone; oh,
de doo-dah day.
Might be gone all night... Might be gone all day...
So leave a message when you hear the tone.
I'll call you back someday...

*  Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.

Pete's thought for today....
 I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.
He said I was being ridiculous.....
everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rae's Trivia.....
The majestic Hapsburgs’ Schonbrunn Palace in Vienna
has 1,441 rooms, of which 40 are opened to public
At age six, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart performed for the
royals in this palace.


Saturday, July 30, 2011


Mostly sunny.
A chance of showers and thunderstorms
in the afternoon.
Highs in the lower 90s.

Your just sleepy....

Okay, Thanks...I will..

Yes, It is......
Read any good books lately?

Okay....How about a Swift kick....?

No wonder the dishes are so clean...

We could just go to McDonalds for lunch.....

Hey! this is a family Blog.....
Cut it out!...

I threw this on in to help "Petewete cool off.....

Oh, no....not that.....

Is there a monkey in there??

Take the grass up and put concrete down
and paint it Green....


~  Obama is losing support from his own party.
In fact Jimmy Carter just compared him to Jimmy Carter.

~  My Dog .......It's just hit me !!
 My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
She has her food prepared for her.
 She can eat whenever she wants.
 Her meals are provided at no cost to her.
She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and
again during the year if any medical needs arise.
 For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
 She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is
much larger than she needs, but she is not required to
do any upkeep.
 If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep.
She receives these accommodations absolutely free.
She is living like a Queen, and has absolutely no
expenses whatsoever.
 All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and
earn a living every day.
 I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me
like a brick in the head.......
I think my dog is a member of Congress!

~  The rule of the 7 P's
Proper previous planning prevents piss poor

~  My wife went to the doctors with a bad leg.
She came back and said;
"The Doctor told me I can't drive".
"Damn, I could have told you that".

~  I  think these news stations are missing the boat with
these marathon storm tracking sessions.
They need to sell advertising!
"This Tornado warning is brought to you by Glad Trash
Glad...when you have to clean debris the next morning,
don't get mad..get Glad".

*  I have decided to produce and sell a strong alcoholic
drink called "Responsibly"
That way everyone in the country can get shit faced
drinking Responsibly.
And all the other drinks makers will be advertising for
me on their cans with the slogan "
please drink responsibly"
 Probably will piss off the government as well.

*  I've got this great new drinking game where you take
a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Wanna play??

*  Some people say I’m a dreamer, others say,
“If you fall asleep at work again you're fired"

*  A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided
what he wants to be when he grows up?"
 "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector,"
replied the boy's father.
His friend thought for a moment and responded,
"That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career."
 "Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage
collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

*  Some times I like to take my kids down to the car lot
and show them the nice Aston Martin V12 Vantage
I'd be driving if they had never been born.

*  Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a
juror in this case?
 Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long.
 Judge: Can’t they do without you at work?
 Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.

Petes Thought for today......
Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
-Ambrose Bierce

Rae's Trivia......
The crocodile does not chew its food, but swallows it
It carries several pounds of small stones in its stomach
to aid in grinding up and digesting its nourishment.


Friday, July 29, 2011

Good morning friends....
Heat Advisory today...Patchy fog in the morning.
Mostly sunny. Hot with highs 91 to 103.
West winds 5 to 10 mph.

Too damn Hot to sit on the deck...

Even the Hummers stay in the trees in the shade....

You do look mad....☼

You are an Orange kitty.....

I just don't know what to say about this picture.....
but that is a big cat.....

Is that how it works......

I feel a weekend coming......


Bar-B-Que time.....

Poor ENO....just can't win.......

Well, time to leave....Got a game to play.....


~  If I could have dinner with anyone dead or alive,
I would choose...alive.

*  A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a
synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming,
 bellowing voice: “Two years ago I insured my voice with
Lloyds of London for $750,000.”
 There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded
 Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal
voice of an elderly woman is heard, “So what did you do
with the money?”

~  At the beach with my girlfriend.
I noticed she had a loose thread in her bikini bottoms.
So I just slyly went to snag it off.
It wasn't a loose thread...

* Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a
interview for a good paying job.
The company boss asked various questions about him
and his education, but then asked him,
 "What is three times seven?"
"22," Rick replied.
After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator
(he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!)
and realized he wouldn't get the job.
 About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was
hired for the job!
He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but
was still very curious.
The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job,
even though he got such a simple question wrong.
The boss shrugged and said,
"Well, you were the closest."

*  As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after
surgery, he said, “Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?”
 “There’s a big fire across the street,” the doctor replied.
“We didn’t want you to think the operation was a failure.”

*  Answering Machine Message 205.....
Hello. ... If you're calling with bad news,
leave your message now.
If it's good news, wait for the tone.

*  The only commercial airline in Iraq,
 Iraqi Airlines, folded 9 months ago.
The CEO of the airline said the company could not
survive in a Market where everybody in the country was
on the no-fly list.

*  Sue  said she wasn't dumb like the stereotypical
blond and to prove it she decided she would paint the
kitchen all by herself without any help.
 So she bought the paint and supplies.
The next day when her husband came home from work
he discovered, to his amazement, that she had just
finished painting the kitchen.
 Although it was a very hot summer day she was wearing
two coats (indoors) and sweating profusely.
 When he asked her why in the world she would wear two
 coats while painting on a very hot summer day,
she said it was because she followed the instructions
on the paint can, which stated:
best if applied with two coats.

*  Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage
counter?, asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday
The clerk replied, "It's so you can kiss your luggage

*  Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the
Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know
both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-
kick you in the face.

Pete's Thought for today.....
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it
won't work. - Will Rogers

Rae's Trivia.....
A snake is capable of eating an animal 4 times larger
than the width of its own head.
Most varieties of snake can go an entire year without
eating a single morsel of food.



Thursday, July 28, 2011

Partly sunny. Highs in the lower 90s.
Another Hot day....I read 100º yesterday...


~  The Golf Couple A husband and wife are on the 9th
green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack!
"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 000 on his mobile phone, talks for a
few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly,
"they found a doctor on the second hole and he's
coming to help you.
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks
feebly .....
"No time at all," says her husband.
"Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

~  It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost
a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck
Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
 Pirates never were very smart.

~  In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the
role of the town's animal Vet.
One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.
An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"
 "Well, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?"
 the wife asked.
 "Both!" was the reply.
"We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a
burglar in it."

~  A guy is walking down the street with his friend.
He says to his friend, "I'm just a walking economy."
 His friend replies, "What do you mean?"
"It's like this: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is
 a victim of inflation, and the combination of these
factors is putting me into a deep depression.

~  Little Johnny's mother taught him to say 'whisper'
whenever he had to 'tinkle.'
One day Little Johnny's grandpa paid them a visit.
He was lying on the couch taking a nap when Little
Johnny came up to him and said, "Grandpa,
I have to whisper."
Without opening his eyes, his grandpa said,
"Whisper in my ear, son."
When Little Johnny's mom heard a yell that carried for s
everal blocks, she came running.
"What's the matter?" she cried.
Then, seeing Little Johnny she asked, "Did Little Johnny
have to whisper?"
"Yes!" the old man shouted, "Thank God he didn't
have to shout!"

~  Actual argument between the wife and me:
Me: Do you want me to stop by the store and pick up the
things we need?
Wife: No, when you go shopping you ONLY buy the things
we need.
Me: Wait, WHAT??????

~  Bill took his dog to the vet.
"Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have
to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."
 The vet stepped back, "Bill, why should I do such a
terrible thing?"
Bill replied, "Because my mother-in-law's arriving
tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think
she is welcome."

~  Damn those Airports are strict now!
I was arrested at the airport.
Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I did was shout "Hi Jack".

~  A Russian, an American and a Irishman were
talking about how good there country's are.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
 The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Irishman said, "So what? We're going to be the first
on the sun!"
The Russian shook his head and said, "You can't land
on the sun, you idiot!.... You'll burn up!"
 To which the Irishman replied, "We're not stupid,
you know........ We're going at night!"

~  Know why New Yorkers are so depressed??
The light at the end of their tunnel is New Jersey...

Pete's Thought for the day.....
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing
on the shore like an idiot.

Rae's Trivia....
Even if the stomach, the spleen, 80 percent of the
intestines, one kidney, one lung, and virtually every
organ from the pelvic and groin area are removed,
the human body can still survive.
And even if 80 percent of your liver were removed,
the remaining part would continue to function.
Within a few months, the liver would have reconstituted
itself to its original size!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Good Morning...Friends.
Another 90 degree day,
Humidity not so high...
Hump day.......

Now I would call this a Bacon lovers sandwich...
No room for the lettice and tomato.....

And here I thought, Zombies go for your brain...
Looks more like a Vampire.....

Their saying- come on out and play....
yeah, right........

Stop trolling.....

Yeah your "What"??
Your just showing off.....

They are??
Yeah, Eno...sic him......
Reminds me of them old "Charles Atlas" Ad's.....
in the back of our comic books....Remember?

Got ya.......

Can't get comfortable.....

Someone goofed up.....


~  My mother was recently on a flight returning from
As the plane was a small puddle jumper, the flight
attendants were required to demonstrate the life vest,
the oxygen mask, etc., instead of turning on a video.
 After they finished their presentation, one of them said
“To those of you who listened, thank you.
To those of you who ignored us, good luck.”

~  After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that
he wished to meet with the church board after the
The first man to arrive was a stranger.
"You misunderstood my announcement".
"This is a meeting of the board," said the minister.
"I know," said the man. "
"If there is anyone here more bored than I am, I'd like
to meet him."

~  How do undertakers speak?

~  The red cross knocked at my door asking if I could
help towards the floods in Pakistan .
I said I would love to, but my hose only reaches the
bottom of the driveway.

~ If you were somehow able to land a punch on
Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact.
This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right
mind would try this?

~  An American businessman goes to Japan on a
Business trip, but he hates Japanese food,
so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place
 around where he can get American food.
 The concierge tells him he's in luck -- there's a pizza
place that just opened, and they deliver.
The concierge provides the phone number, and the
businessman goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
 Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the
door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza and starts sneezing
He asks the delivery man, "What in the world did you
put on this pizza?"
 The delivery man bows deeply and says,
"We put on the pizza what you ordered: pepper only."

~  A new Muslim clothing shop opened here R-ville,
but I've been banned from it after asking to look at
some bomber jackets...

~  One of my friends, is a porno star.
Guess how he got discovered?
This girl sat on his lap, and she was like, Ooh,
you should do porno!
Same girl sat on my lap and was like,
Ooh, you should tell jokes!

*  Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he
crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that
get too close.

* I went to my doctor yesterday.
After a long wait in the outer office, my name was finally
When I got into the examining room, the nurse pointed to
the scale and said, “I need to get your weight today.”
 I immediately replied, “One hour and 5 minutes.”

Pete's Thought of the Day:
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the
 freedom to make mistakes. - Mahatma Gandhi

Rae's Trivia......
The Super Ball was born in 1965, and it became
America’s most popular plaything that year.
By Christmas time, only six months after Super Balls
were introduced by Wham-0, 7 million balls had been
sold at 98 cents apiece.