Well, it's hot... 95º yesterday...
and will be in the 90's all week...
Got us a heat wave going....
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Don't want cake...
want sausage gravy and biscuits....
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I know, you like tuna....but don't you
want the cake..?
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You wouldn't....
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I guess he don't like Spam....
with french garlic??
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I try to be, but I fail sometimes....
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Oh, no!! And I got a date with "Witchy"...
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Been Sleeping long???
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You need too....you broke it....
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Why?? why don't you get your own??
I need all mine......
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I doubt that......
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Oh, no....now I'm scared.....
I won't get any sleep tonight.....
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♥♥♥
~~ Little Johnny pulls up in front of the bakery with his
little sister in their lil red wagon.
They walk in and Johnny while clutching a nickel in his
fingers, presses his face up against the glass case where
the whipped covered cream filled long johns are.
"how much are those long johns?" johnny asked the
baker.
"well for you they are a nickel" replied the baker "
great!!!" said johnny pulling a dollar bill from his
pocket "I'll take 20 of em"
little sister in their lil red wagon.
They walk in and Johnny while clutching a nickel in his
fingers, presses his face up against the glass case where
the whipped covered cream filled long johns are.
"how much are those long johns?" johnny asked the
baker.
"well for you they are a nickel" replied the baker "
great!!!" said johnny pulling a dollar bill from his
pocket "I'll take 20 of em"
☼
~~ A man walked into a Wal-Mart and the Greeter said,
"Automotive, aisle 15."
The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
Another man walked in and the Greeter said,
"Sporting goods, aisle 28."
The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing
supplies?
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
A woman walked in and the Greeter said,
"Tampons, aisle 5."
The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid medicine."
The Greeter said, "Darn, I missed it by an inch!"
"Automotive, aisle 15."
The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
Another man walked in and the Greeter said,
"Sporting goods, aisle 28."
The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing
supplies?
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
A woman walked in and the Greeter said,
"Tampons, aisle 5."
The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid medicine."
The Greeter said, "Darn, I missed it by an inch!"
☼
~~ "Arnold Schwarzenegger might have to give
Maria Shriver 100,000,000 dollars in a divorce
settlement.
When asked for a comment Arnold said,
"But I have families to support." –Conan O'Brien
Maria Shriver 100,000,000 dollars in a divorce
settlement.
When asked for a comment Arnold said,
"But I have families to support." –Conan O'Brien
☼
~~ Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock
the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they
couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to
catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,
"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they
couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to
catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,
"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
☼
~~ Son: "Dad, did you go to Church when you were
little?"
Dad: "Yes son, every single Sunday."
Son: "I thought so.
Bet it won't do me any good either."
little?"
Dad: "Yes son, every single Sunday."
Son: "I thought so.
Bet it won't do me any good either."
☼
~~ Americans must be easygoing because they can
never stay mad enough to get a third political party
started.
never stay mad enough to get a third political party
started.
☼
~~ Will Rogers was once asked by a piano manufacturer
to compose a short testimonial praising its products.
Rogers, unwilling to endorse any product which he
could not personally test, replied thus: "Dear Sirs,
I guess your pianos are the best I ever leaned against.
Yours truly, Will Rogers."
to compose a short testimonial praising its products.
Rogers, unwilling to endorse any product which he
could not personally test, replied thus: "Dear Sirs,
I guess your pianos are the best I ever leaned against.
Yours truly, Will Rogers."
☼
~~ The day my great-aunt had her new carpets
installed in her senior- residence apartment,
I visited her to see if she needed any help.
I found her in a somewhat frazzled state.
As I went about placing the furniture in its usual position,
she suddenly plopped down in a chair and declared,
"I just can't figure out what happened, but it seems the
day I turned 90, I lost all my energy!"
"But you're 80, not 90," I pointed out.
Upon hearing this, she marched into the kitchen, mixed
her favorite cocktail, took a sip and said,
"Well, I really don't have any excuse then!"
And proceeded to vacuum the whole apartment.
installed in her senior- residence apartment,
I visited her to see if she needed any help.
I found her in a somewhat frazzled state.
As I went about placing the furniture in its usual position,
she suddenly plopped down in a chair and declared,
"I just can't figure out what happened, but it seems the
day I turned 90, I lost all my energy!"
"But you're 80, not 90," I pointed out.
Upon hearing this, she marched into the kitchen, mixed
her favorite cocktail, took a sip and said,
"Well, I really don't have any excuse then!"
And proceeded to vacuum the whole apartment.
☼
~~ A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his
parents went to town shopping.
He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that
evening.
"I didn't catch a thing!"
"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare
the fish away," his mother said.
The boy said, "It wasn't that..... She ate all the bait!"
parents went to town shopping.
He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that
evening.
"I didn't catch a thing!"
"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare
the fish away," his mother said.
The boy said, "It wasn't that..... She ate all the bait!"
☼
~~ Austrian pianist Artur Schnabel was once amused
to find an elderly woman in the front row sleeping right
through one of his concerts.
When she abruptly woke as the final ovation rang
through the auditorium, Schnabel leaned over to
apologize:
"It was the applause, madame," he whispered.
"I played as softly as I could."
to find an elderly woman in the front row sleeping right
through one of his concerts.
When she abruptly woke as the final ovation rang
through the auditorium, Schnabel leaned over to
apologize:
"It was the applause, madame," he whispered.
"I played as softly as I could."
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Todays Thought: I have come to the conclusion that politics are too
serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
- Charles De Gaulle
serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
- Charles De Gaulle
Rae's Trivia...The first woman executed by the U.S. government was
Mary Surratt. She was hanged July 7, 1865, for conspiracy in the
assassination of President Lincoln.
Mary Surratt. She was hanged July 7, 1865, for conspiracy in the
assassination of President Lincoln.
1 comment:
Lucky nu Gus!!! I'm jealous! .........:(
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