Going to be another good day... The weather has been
rough for the middle of the country....
"Wake up Pete" The Sun's out and the serf's up....
☼
Fancy hardboiled eggs this morning??
☼
So that's were my damn ham went.....
Now I gotta just have them eggs....
Just remembered Pete cooked a ham...
Maybe.........
☼
Hey, Clyde....you that hungery...
You better wait....I know were their is a fat frog..
☼
Now look what you done....
I told you to stop eating all that Ham.....!
☼
No! It's for cats, too.......
☼
Awwww, you had to just let it go......
Not hardboiled eggs....wow...
☼
Yes they will...
They will laugh at all of us...
☼
Yep....thats true.....
☼
Fly the friendly Sky......
☼
I don't know about Eno.......
Just an't right.....
☼
Well, time to head out.....
gotta get these tires home...
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ Indigestion
The failure to adjust a square meal to a round stomach.
The failure to adjust a square meal to a round stomach.
☼
~~ Little Johnny had just learned to count on his fingers.
One day his uncle came to visit and Little Johnny was
anxious to show off his newly-acquired skill.
He asked his uncle to give him an addition question.
His uncle asked, "What is three plus four?"
Little Johnny counted it out on his fingers and said,
"Seven."
His uncle said, "Listen, Little Johnny, you can't count it
out on your hands because someday when you are in
school, a teacher will get mad at you for it.
Now put your hands in your pockets."
Little Johnny put his hands in his pockets and his uncle
asked, "What is five plus five?"
His uncle saw movement in Little Johnny's pockets,
and then Little Johnny said, "Eleven!"
One day his uncle came to visit and Little Johnny was
anxious to show off his newly-acquired skill.
He asked his uncle to give him an addition question.
His uncle asked, "What is three plus four?"
Little Johnny counted it out on his fingers and said,
"Seven."
His uncle said, "Listen, Little Johnny, you can't count it
out on your hands because someday when you are in
school, a teacher will get mad at you for it.
Now put your hands in your pockets."
Little Johnny put his hands in his pockets and his uncle
asked, "What is five plus five?"
His uncle saw movement in Little Johnny's pockets,
and then Little Johnny said, "Eleven!"
☼
~~ A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while
a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee.
The ladies are taking their time.
When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it
10 feet.
Then she goes over and whiffs it completely.
Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it
another five feet.
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says
apologetically, "I guess all those damn dance lessons I took
over the winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately responds:
"Well, there you have it.
You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck.
He was 68.......
a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee.
The ladies are taking their time.
When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it
10 feet.
Then she goes over and whiffs it completely.
Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it
another five feet.
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says
apologetically, "I guess all those damn dance lessons I took
over the winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately responds:
"Well, there you have it.
You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck.
He was 68.......
☼
~~ It was a joyous crisp November afternoon when
Scott brought his wife Karen and their newborn baby
Jordan home from the hospital.
"I want to hold my brother," four-year-old Logan begged
as Karen came in the house carrying the newborn.
"First we have to change his diaper," she said.
As Karen removed the diaper, Logan noticed the baby's
belly button and asked, "When does his umbrella cord
come off?"
Scott brought his wife Karen and their newborn baby
Jordan home from the hospital.
"I want to hold my brother," four-year-old Logan begged
as Karen came in the house carrying the newborn.
"First we have to change his diaper," she said.
As Karen removed the diaper, Logan noticed the baby's
belly button and asked, "When does his umbrella cord
come off?"
☼
~~ Q. What did the bartender ask Charles Dickens when
he ordered a martini?
A. Olive or twist?
he ordered a martini?
A. Olive or twist?
☼
~~ *Resurrection Update*
A singing group call "The Resurrection" was scheduled
to sing at a church.
Everyone was excited about the concert and looked
forward to the event.
We were disappointed when a big snowstorm
postponed the group's performance.
To let everyone know about the cancellation,
the pastor changed the sign outside to read,
"The Resurrection is postponed."
to sing at a church.
Everyone was excited about the concert and looked
forward to the event.
We were disappointed when a big snowstorm
postponed the group's performance.
To let everyone know about the cancellation,
the pastor changed the sign outside to read,
"The Resurrection is postponed."
☼
~~ A number of years ago I had applied for financial
assistance through a home-repair program.
The receptionist phoned to inform me that my
application had been reviewed and I could go ahead
with my plans.
She then added, "In order to receive assistance, you
will have to sign papers that you will live in this home
for at least five years."
"I can't agree to that," I said.
"I could be dead in five years."
"Oh, that would be fine," she replied.
assistance through a home-repair program.
The receptionist phoned to inform me that my
application had been reviewed and I could go ahead
with my plans.
She then added, "In order to receive assistance, you
will have to sign papers that you will live in this home
for at least five years."
"I can't agree to that," I said.
"I could be dead in five years."
"Oh, that would be fine," she replied.
☼
~~ ~~ Newspaper ads can be expensive.
As a result, many companies abbreviate words.
However this company cut just one corner too many:
"Wanted: Office Ass."
☼
~~ Middle age is that time when a voice
in one ear says --
Why not? and a voice in the other ear says -- Why bother?
☼
~~ In the final analysis, more people depend on solar
energy for snow removal than any other method.
energy for snow removal than any other method.
☼
☼
Todays Thought; "One of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope
that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation."
that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation."
Rae's Trivia....It is difficult to drown an ant because water doesn’t
penetrate their minuscule breathing tube;
the ants will suffer, however, from too much carbon dioxide,
which knocks them out.
It takes awhile, but they will eventually die.
penetrate their minuscule breathing tube;
the ants will suffer, however, from too much carbon dioxide,
which knocks them out.
It takes awhile, but they will eventually die.
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