We didn't get much rain, just a cold dreary day....
Today will be the same....
Bacon Coke, Petewete??
Even serve it in a Bacon mug.....
He's dancing for his bacon.....
in the snow, no less.....
Told you not to eat all that bacon,
now you got a fever.....
next time you'll listen.....
Every body wants my bacon...
Hey! your supposed to be working out.....
not watching soaps..... get at it....or no bacon..
sounds about right....
You need some bacon...that will smarten you up....
Eno's not gonna give up Bacon!!
Time to sell this Jewel...
Spring is here....
~~ Pete was asked to play in a golf tournament but he demurred... Then they told him, "Come on..... It's for handicapped and blind kids..." He thought, "Hey! I could win this thing!"
~~ Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for
Every month, the centerfold is the same woman!
~~ what do you know get when you cross darth vader's
son with a hamburger ?
The luke skywhopper....
~~ Despite the aches and pains that accompany aging,
my 99-year-old friend maintains a sense of humour.
"My nurse tells me that seldom do those over 95 years
of age get Alzheimer's so I'm off the hook,"
she told me the last time I visited her.
"Furthermore, my son tells me that anyone who can spell
"Alzheimer's" doesn't have it, so I keep practising my
~~ One of the youth league soccer coaches didn't care
much for my refereeing and had no problem letting me
Fed up, I threatened him with a penalty if he didn't
He calmed down, but an older woman took up where he'd
"You'd better control your sideline," I warned the coach.
The coach turned to the woman and barked,
"Knock it off, Mom!"
~~ An unmarried woman arrived at her office one morning
and started passing out cigars.
"What's the occasion?" she was asked.
She proudly flashed her new diamond ring.
"It's a boy! Six-foot-two, brown hair, blue eyes,
~~ The very height of diplomacy was reached one day in
a downtown building when Gus entered the
elevator and neglected to take off his hat.
The only other passenger in the elevator was a
middle-aged lady who said, "Don't you take off your hat
"Only to old ones, madam"Gus replied with a smile.....
~~ Someone from the cemetery called to verify
information about my preplanned funeral and burial
After writing everything down, she assured me,
"That's all I needed........ You're good to go."
~~ Soon after celebrating her tenth birthday,
Daddy's little girl complained of aches in her legs.
Daddy said she was having growing pains and that she
was getting taller.
Later in the week, she said, "I guess I'll be lopsided
because it's just my left leg that hurts."
~~ Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he
was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken
“Yeah,” said Rob, “would you marry someone who didn’t
know the meaning of the word faithful, and who was flip
and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?”
“ No way in hell” said the bartender.
“Well, said Rob, “neither would my fiancée.”
~~ The man who performed his first prostate exam on
an Irishman felt deeply a Seamus.
Todays Thought: By the time we appreciate how important youth is, youth isn't.
Rae's Trivia.... The psychology department of Dayton University reports that loud talk can be ten times more distracting than the sound of a jackhammer.... Loud, incessant chatter can make a listener nervous and irritable, and even start him on the road to insanity.