Thursday, March 31, 2011

Good morning.....Everyone staying dry?
We didn't get much rain, just a cold dreary day....
Today will be the same....

Bacon Coke, Petewete??

Even serve it in a Bacon mug.....

He's dancing for his bacon.....
in the snow, no less.....

Told you not to eat all that bacon,
now you got a fever.....
next time you'll listen.....


Every body wants my bacon...

Lookin cool....

Hey! your supposed to be working out.....
not watching soaps..... get at it....or no bacon..

sounds about right....
You need some bacon...that will smarten you up....

Eno's not gonna give up Bacon!!

Time to sell this Jewel...
Spring is here....

~~ Pete was asked to play in a golf tournament but he demurred... Then they told him, "Come on..... It's for handicapped and blind kids..." He thought, "Hey! I could win this thing!"

~~ Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for
married men.
Every month, the centerfold is the same woman!

~~ what do you know get when you cross darth vader's
son with a hamburger ?
The luke skywhopper....

~~ Despite the aches and pains that accompany aging,
my 99-year-old friend maintains a sense of humour.
"My nurse tells me that seldom do those over 95 years
of age get Alzheimer's so I'm off the hook,"
she told me the last time I visited her.
"Furthermore, my son tells me that anyone who can spell
"Alzheimer's" doesn't have it, so I keep practising my

~~ One of the youth league soccer coaches didn't care
much for my refereeing and had no problem letting me
know it.
Fed up, I threatened him with a penalty if he didn't
can it.
He calmed down, but an older woman took up where he'd
left off.
"You'd better control your sideline," I warned the coach.
The coach turned to the woman and barked,
"Knock it off, Mom!"

~~ An unmarried woman arrived at her office one morning
and started passing out cigars.
"What's the occasion?" she was asked.
She proudly flashed her new diamond ring.
"It's a boy! Six-foot-two, brown hair, blue eyes,
190 pounds!"

~~ The very height of diplomacy was reached one day in
a downtown building when Gus entered the
elevator and neglected to take off his hat.
The only other passenger in the elevator was a
middle-aged lady who said, "Don't you take off your hat
to ladies?"
"Only to old ones, madam"Gus replied with a smile.....

~~ Someone from the cemetery called to verify
information about my preplanned funeral and burial
After writing everything down, she assured me,
"That's all I needed........ You're good to go."

~~ Soon after celebrating her tenth birthday,
Daddy's little girl complained of aches in her legs.
Daddy said she was having growing pains and that she
was getting taller.
Later in the week, she said, "I guess I'll be lopsided
because it's just my left leg that hurts."

~~ Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he
was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken
“Yeah,” said Rob, “would you marry someone who didn’t
know the meaning of the word faithful, and who was flip
and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?”
“ No way in hell” said the bartender.
“Well, said Rob, “neither would my fiancée.”

~~ The man who performed his first prostate exam on
an Irishman felt deeply a Seamus.

Todays Thought: By the time we appreciate how important youth is, youth isn't.

Rae's Trivia.... The psychology department of Dayton University reports that loud talk can be ten times more distracting than the sound of a jackhammer....  Loud, incessant chatter can make a listener nervous and irritable, and even start him on the road to insanity.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Good Morning...Friends and readers....
Not gonna be a nice day.....A cold rainy day....Snow...
Gonna be bad all week......

Scrambled Eggs this morning?
No links?

Petewete's gonna have a B-B-Q....
Your gonna go crazy cooking all them
Burgers on that grill...

What? your having a cook out, and
never told me??
You an't right......

The cat don't like to hear the crying.....
hurts their ears.... yours too?

That cat sez; The heck with you....
I'm bailing....

Friends and playmates......

Cold and freezing down at the creek....

Now thats a bad neighborhood....

Seems everyone knows Eno.....

Gotta go....Gotta go....
Cool Huh?

~~ After Adam stayed out late a few nights, Eve became suspicious.      "You’re running around with another woman— admit it!" she demanded.     "What other woman?"    Adam shot back.... "You’re it!" That night, Adam was fast asleep when he was awakened by Eve poking him in the chest.
"What are you doing?"  "Counting your ribs."

~~ A job applicant’s polygraph test for the Washington
State Patrol came to an abrupt end after officers discovered
an interesting piece of literature on the front seat of his car.
The title of the book: How to Beat a Lie Detector Test.

~~ My father's method of accounting for the hundreds of
cattle on his ranch was very unique.
Every spring, he would move the herd down a long ramp,
through a wooden gate and into a holding pen for inspection.
As each animal entered the pen, he marked the count on
the gate.
One summer, he went to the bank to apply for a loan,
using his cattle for collateral.
The bank officer asked to see his records.
"No problem," replied Dad.
He went back to the ranch, took the gate off its hinges and
brought it to the bank.
Dad got the loan.

~~ Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else
doesn't think they're jokes.

~~ I'm kinda grieving.
My Grandfather Just died.
You see he worked at a Urethene Factory.
He had a horrible, horrible death.
His job was to stir the vats as they got kinda stuck together,
you know coagulated.
Well, one day he was doing his job stirring the vats as a bit
of urethene got stuck together.
They have a stir-rer in the vats but he had to get the excess
that they missed.
So here he was stirring the vat when one of the stirrers
catches the pole he's using to stir.
Sucker pulls him right into the vat.
Sure enough he drowns in this vat of Urethene.
It was a horrible, horrible death.
But man, what a beautiful finish.

~~ Question?: Why did god create aramadillos?
So rednecks could eat possum on the halfshell.

~~ A man runs into the doctor's office and screams
"Doctor, doctor I think I am shrinking!"
The doctor doesn't look up from his work but says....
"I am busy right now.
You will have to be a little patient."

~~ After she tripped and hurt herself, my sister filed a lawsuit.
While she was being deposed, the opposing attorney asked,
"Since your injury, is there anything you cannot do now that you
did before the injury?"
"Yes, I can't ride my bicycle anymore," she said.
"And why is that?"
"Because it has a flat tire."

~~ The plan: to build a garden walkway made up of dozens

of wooden squares.
I decided I'd slice railroad ties into two-inch-thick pieces for
the sections.
That's what I told the clerk at the lumberyard.
"You got a power saw?" he asked.
"No," I said.... "Can't I just use my hand saw?"
He nodded slowly. "You could.
But I just have one question.
How old do you want to be when you finish?"

~~ When my septic system was clogged,
a friend volunteered to help me.
Pete climbed down into the pit with a snake and yards of cable.
After 15 minutes I heard him muttering:
"My mother needs a ride into the city,
my brother is coming to town,
my car has to go to the garage..."
"Pete," I asked, "what are you doing?"
"Practicing," he replied.
"For what?"
"For the next time you have a problem."

Todays Thought: We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no one is entitled to his own facts.
Rae's Trivia....The good news in 1547 in Britain was that the law was amended to end the practice of boiling criminals to death.    The bad news was that the punishment was changed to burning them at
the stake.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Good morning, Readers... Chilly Morning here....
I'm reading 30º... And calling for cold rain tomorrow..
and 50% on Tuesday and Friday....
What Happened to Spring....Pete??

Carol's latest painting....
It's a great painting...some talent there!!

"Granny's' Tulip Poplar tree....
Was pretty until the cold got to it....

Steak for breakfast...this morning.... Pete...??
No eggs?

He wants just the Stake......
I think he heard wrong.....!

My yard is full of these critters...
They love to tease the cats....

And steal my coffee......

Ground squirrel spider??

Your lucky...could be a damn Squirrel...

"Can you Hear me Now??

Well, I gotta programs on.....


~~ One Sunday morning a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing.
He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work.
Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, "Are you really going to let him get away with this?" "No, I guess not," says God.    The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows.   The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one.   Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks,
"Why did you let him do that?"   To this God says, "Who's he going to tell?"

~~ As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army
Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier
remained at attention.
The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye
with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.
The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

~~ Two passenger planes landed in Washington, D.C.
with no assistance from a sleeping air traffic controller.
Luckily, the pilots were too drunk to notice.

~~ A guy is out around town when his cell phone rings,
and the caller ID says "Home".
He is confused, being a bachelor, as to who is in his home
calling him.
He answers, and it is his pet cat on the other line.
The cat says, "Can you hear meow?"

~~ As a volunteer in my son's second grade class,
I was listening to one young fellow read.
The book he had chosen had several sentences with colons,
and he read those lines twice.
Finally I explained that he only had to read them once.
"You see those dots there?" he said.
"They're repeat dots, and my music teacher says you have
to do the line twice."

~~ A family was having dinner, which included some
Swiss Cheese.
The little boy said, "Dad I don't like the holes in the
"Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the
side of the plate."

~~ In the summer of 2002, a six-man team led by
Cornell University ornithologist John Fitzpatrick went
on a month-long trek through marshland in Louisiana
to make a recording of what was thought to be one of
the world's rarest woodpeckers tapping in a distant
tree trunk.
(A pair of the birds had apparently been spotted by a
university student while he was turkey hunting in a
Louisiana swamp.)
When the team did not see any first-hand evidence of
the bird, they passed their tapes on to another team of
sound experts.
The verdict?.....
"Sadly," they reported, "analysis proved the sounds
were distant gunshots, with reverberations that sounded
to human ears like drumming on a hollow snag."

~~ Helping me sort clothes into "save" and
"give away" piles, my six- year-old daughter came
across a garter belt. "What’s this?" she asked.
"It’s a garter belt," I said.
Seeing that meant nothing to her, I added,
"It’s for holding up stockings."
"Ah," she said, carefully placing it in the "save" pile,
"we’ll use it Christmas Eve."

~~ Frustrated at my attempts to find something
suitable for my diminutive daughter to wear that didn't
look like something for a child,
I approached a rather harried-looking saleswoman.
"What do you have for a petite woman about five feet tall,
around 95 to 100 pounds?" I asked.
The short, pleasantly plump clerk looked at me with
a rueful smile... "Nothing but contempt," she said.

~~ A girl looked calmly at a caller one evening and

"George, as it is leap year—"
The caller turned pale.
"As it is leap year," she continued, "and you've been
calling regularly now four nights a week for a long,
Long time, George, I propose—"
"I'm not in a position to marry on my salary Grace"
George interrupted hurriedly.
"I know that, George," the girl pursued, "and so, as it is
leap year, I thought I'd propose that you lay off and give
some of the more eligible fellows a chance."

Todays Thought:  "When you feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you, too."
Rae's Trivia.....  Where is Stonewall buried?

Civil War General Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson has two separate burial sites.
His left arm, which was amputated after the battle of Chancellorsville, was buried on a nearby farm.
A week later, Jackson died and was buried in Lexington, Virginia.  (His own men Shot him by

Monday, March 28, 2011

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors...
Well, we're in a cold spell....
The weather keeps going up and down....
In the 80's then freezing....
I'm reading 31º right now......

A wee bit of snow yesterday morning.....

Ready for breakfast.....Pete?
Oh, No....he's still in bed.....
Sleep on, I eat it.....

If "Bubba" don't watch out he'll be breakfast....

Bubba...He's waiting.........

Breakfast time for the cats...
Dogs gotta wait.....

Their waiting for the "Breakfast bee's" to come by.....

Oh, No...just what I needed.....
You put them back were they were!

Cool bike, Huh?

Got any "Chia" Cats??
You cool, Homer!!

If we had this Pete, we could go fishing.....
It's cool....Huh??

~~ A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee.
He made it himself and he was so proud.    Anxiously, he waited to hear the verdict.
The grandmother in all her life had never had such a bad cup of coffee.
As she forced down the last sip, his grandmother noticed three of those little green army guys were in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, "Honey, why would three of your little army men
be in the bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV.
'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'."

~~ From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man
on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving
his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."

~~ "Isn't politics just horrible these days?
People are now saying that Hillary Clinton has spent millions
of dollars on plastic surgery.
She's so good looking now that her husband hit on her by
accident last night." --Dave Letterman

~~ A young woman was preparing a ham dinner.
After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan
for baking.
Her friend asked her, ”Why did you cut off the end of the ham”?
And she replied ,”I really don’t know but my mother always did,
so I thought you were supposed to.”
Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut
off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother
replied, “I really don't know, but that's the way my mom
always did it.”
A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother,
the young woman asked, “Grandma, why is it that you cut off
the end of a ham before you bake it?”
Her grandmother replied, “Well dear, otherwise it would
never fit into my baking pan.”

~~ Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the
doctor away.
But since all now are Muslim, I've found that a bacon
sandwich works best!

~~ A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were walking
along the beach.
A seagull flies over and craps all over the blonde.
The brunette says in a disgusted voice, "Hang on.
The bathroom is just up the hill.
I'll go get some toilet paper."
After she leaves the blonde begins to laugh.
The Redhead says, "What's so funny?"
The blonde says, "Well, blondes are supposed to be so
dumb and look at her!
By the time she gets back with that toilet paper that seagull
will be miles away!"

~~ A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and an ever
present help in time of trouble.

~~ The judge was firm, "I sentence you to eighteen months
for breaking into a house during the night."
The defendant said,"Your Honor, the last time I was here,
you put me away for eighteen months for breaking in
during the daytime.
If I can't do it at night or in the daytime, when am I supposed
to make a living?"

~~ Back in the 1940s, two first-time flyers took a plane from
New York to Los Angeles.
When they made their first stop at Philadelphia, a red truck
arrived to put fuel in the plane.
A little while later, they landed in Pittsburgh, and again a
red truck pulled up to fill the plane's tanks with fuel.
Each time they landed to discharge or take on passengers,
a red truck would pull up and add fuel to the tanks.
Finally, after landing in Kansas City and seeing the truck pull
up again, one passenger said to the other:
"We sure are making good time."
"Yes, we are," said the other," and so is that red truck!"

~~ A thin man started down the escalator in a shopping mall.
Behind him was a rather plump lady.
The plump lady lost her footing and crashed into the man,
dragging him down the escalator with her.
At the bottom, the man brushed himself off and said,
"Thank you, but this is as far as I go!"

Todays Thought:  life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Rae's Trivia... A dolphin produces notes 100 times higher than the highest note a human soprano can reach even in the shower..........


Sunday, March 27, 2011

Good Morning....Friends and neighbors.....
Looks like a bit of snow on the grass and leaves outside...
I'm reading 36º right now....

"Whats for Breakfast?"
Scrambled eggs with cottage cheese....

She wants some!!

"Are you mad?"
Don't worry I won't......

"Nap time".....
We bring our own pillows.....

What a mess....
I bet all the colors looked cool....

Any one want to buy some seeds??
"Buck a pk."

Oh...He's so good to his people....

Just cruising along....

Poor Eno........

A cool ride....huh?

~~ The sages of the general store were discussing the veracity of old Petewete when Old Man Gus ambled in."What do you think about it, Gus?" they asked him.
"Would you call Petewete a liar?"
"Well," answered Old Gus slowly, as he thoughtfully
studied the ceiling, "I don't know as I'd go so far as to
call him a liar exactly, but I do know this much: when
feedin' time comes, in order to get any response from
his hogs, he has to get somebody else to call 'em for him.

~~ An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a
desolated area.
Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong
horse, named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,
"Pull, Nellie, pull!"..... Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!"....
Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!"
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!"
And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious.
He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong
name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he
was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

~~ My neighbor just gave birth to Siamese twins.
I've knitted them a W-neck sweater as a gift.

~~ Pete: "Do you know what happens to liars when
they die?
Gus: "Yes, sir; they lie still."

~~ Rock Bottom is when you ask out a blind babe and she
tells you she is already seeing someone!

~~ My grandfather likes to give me advise,
but he's a little forgetful.
One day, he took me aside
and left me there.

~~ When I was working as a fishing guide at a remote lodge,
a client once failed to return from a hike to a nearby lake.
We spent most of the night fruitlessly searching and calling
for him, then in the morning a rescue team was flown in.
They soon found him, tired and mosquito-bitten, but safe.
Asked how he had spent the night, he said he tried to sleep,
but had been bothered by the moose calls.
"Moose?" I asked, surprised.
"What did they sound like?" "Sort of like, 'Baahhb," said Bill.

~~ In a courtroom, a purse-snatcher is on trial and the victim is
stating what happened.
She says, "Yes, that is him. I saw him clear as day.
I'd remember his face anywhere."
At which point, the defendant bursts out, "You couldn't see
my face, lady.
I was wearing a mask!"

~~ Q: Why are cakes similar to baseball teams?
A: They both need good batters!

~~ During her retirement party from the Cook County
State's Attorney's office, coworkers told stories about my
less-than-worldly mother.
My favorite came from her supervisor, who recalled one
of the first arrest reports Mom had created.
Under "Offense," she'd typed, "Possession of cannibals."

~~ My Dad told us that at work they had been given
shirts with their names on them.
A man came in and addressed Dad by his first name,
and kept on talking to him as if he knew him.
Days went by, with Dad trying to figure out who that
man was and how he knew him, until finally he realized
he didn't know him at all, the man was just reading
the name on Dad's shirt.

Todays Thought; "Moral responsibility is not just a matter of avoiding harm to others; it also means helping people in need."
Rae's triva....During World War II, in May 1942, U.S. ice cream manufacturers were restricted by law to produce only 20 different flavors of ice cream..... But to this date, no explanation for the law has ever been

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