Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Good Morning....readers.
A heat wave this morning... A warm 44º..
Are you ready for the rain, Pete??
Already posted a flood alert....also windy...

Sunrise from bedroom window.....

Weird looking deer in my yard......
White with brown ears??

The pit boss cooking chicken.....
Smells good....

He's waiting for his piece of chicken...
He likes the legs.....

That doesn't look comfortable....

The cat guard has everything under control...

He's fast huh??

Want a cute pet?
Would be okay if it stayed this small....

So true............

I have seen this happen....
Only it was wrestling...

Waiting for the snow.....

~~ Pete... You know why geese fly in v's right?.....

but do you know why one side of the "v" is longer than
the other?
Theres more geese on that side.

~~ The waitress was refilling cups of coffee when she
stopped at the table next to ours.
"Regular?" she asked her customer.
"Yes, thank you," said the man.
"Due to a steady diet of fruit."

~~ The first chemistry class of the semester at UVA.
featured common chemical reactions.
The professor had taken a flask of clear liquid and exhaled
into it. Instantly, it turned to green.
"What do you suppose is causing this reaction?" he asked.
Trying to sound scientific, one new student answered,

~~ A man at the doctors:
-Doctor, I have diarrhea and it won’t go away!
-Did you try using a lemon?
-Yes I did, but when I removed it, it started again!

~~ Stormy weather diverted our Dallas-bound flight to
another airport.
As we approached the runway, the pilot came on the intercom:
"For those of you who are not familiar with the area, this is
Lubbock, Texas."
Then he paused.
"And for those of you who are familiar with this area,
I think this is Lubbock, Texas."

~~ The American people are very generous and will forgive
almost any weakness with the possible exception of stupidity.

~~ Preadolescence had all the regular seasons.
Fall, the leaves fell and you had to go back to school.
Winter, it was cold and you were still in school.
Spring, it got warm again and you were still in school.
Summer was hot and sunny and lasted about fifteen minutes.

~~ Pete enters into a bar,and the waiter comes and
asks him "What do you want to drink sir?"
Pete points out to a guy laying on the floor and
replies..... "Whatever that guy was drinking."

~~ Man walks into a bar, has a seat and asks for two double
He knocks one back and tosses the second into his vest
This goes on for about a dozen rounds before the bartender
says, "Excuse me, but I'm curious as to why you knock back
one drink and toss the other into your vest pocket?"
The man says, "That's none of your damn business."
A mouse pops out of the vest pocket and yells."
And that goes for your damn cat too!"

~~ Applied excessively, styling gel could cause you to have
a hair-raising experience.

~~ A man with a wife and daughter picked up the telephone

and dialed his home where there was a phone in the kitchen
and an extension phone upstairs.
Two female voices answered simultaneously, each saying,
"I've got it," followed by two clicks as both women hung up.

~~ If a man's wife is his better half, and he marries twice,

what then becomes of him?

Todays Thought:  Retirement is that period of time when you sit around and watch the sunset, if you can stay up that late.


Monday, November 29, 2010

Good morning.....Had a good long weekend?
Now back to the grind.... After all that eating,
now it's Fat monday..... I think I gained 5 lbs....

Still getting leaves up....
Arty is tired of getting them up....

A fat "Chico".. he eats way too much...
Eats his then grabs "Maggie's"

Fixing breakfast...

Okay, a good baby sitter....

I can't hear you......

You can have the turkey, I would rather have
the Ham.... So good....

Talking about eating too much....
Looks like they could get him
a shirt that fit....

Are you teasing......


I bet this does go on......

Well, I gotta go....
My ride is here....

~~ Pete did you know....One of the most successful inventors of all time was the man who invented the hay-bailing machine.
Needless to say, he made a bundle.

~~ Q: What did the frog order at McDonald's?
A: A Big Mac and diet Croak

~~ Chuck: Why are you late?
Gus: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Chuck: Were you helping him look for it?
Gus: No. I was standing on it.

~~ Hygiene is in the eye of the beholder, I've decided.
One lunchtime I watched the man in the sandwich shop
spreading mayonnaise on my bread, and noticed part of his
grubby work shirt was dragging across it.
"Excuse me," I ventured, "your sleeve is in the mayo."
"No problem," he reassured me..... "I need to wash it anyway."

~~ Sign In a pet shop window:
"Free legless parakeet. No perches necessary."

~~ Mark Twain said, " Well, I left home at 17, and four years
later I had to return home.
When I left the old man was the dumbest man I ever met.
It amazed me how much that man had learned in four years."

~~ A man walks into a bar and says...
"I just got back from the battered woman's shelter,
and boy are my arms tired".

~~ Working in a library, one of the tasks we have to do twice
a week is call patrons about their overdue items.
One day I had to call someone about a late book entitled
Don't Forget: Easy Exercises for a Better Memory.

~~ As the family gathered for a big dinner together,
the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an
army recruiter's office.
There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter
as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could
handle this new situation.
"Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one.
"You didn't really do that, did you?"
"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just
gazing at him.
When she finally spoke, she simply asked,
"Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"

~~ Q. Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to
ride a bike?
A. The pavement.

~~ A friend asked me the other day why I never got married,

I replied, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman.
I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh come on now," said my friend.
"Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."
"Yes there was one girl, once.
I guess she was the one perfect girl, the only perfect girl I really
ever met.
She was just the right everything.
I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."
"Well, why didn't you marry her? asked my friend.
I shrugged my shoulders and replied.
"She was looking for the perfect man."

~~ A baby boy is born without eyelids...
but the doctor says,"don't worry, when I circumcise him,
I'll make eyelids out of his foreskin".
When the operation was over, he said it went well,
but he's gonna be a little cock-eyed.

Todays Thought: "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by Stupidity."


Sunday, November 28, 2010

# 1130

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....
A chilly 25º this morning... today's daytime temp...44º
The weather is bouncing up and down like a yo-yo..

A sunrise from the back yard, I was feeding the cats..

A sunset from the other day...

Friends?? the dog looks scared..

Mama's got her baby.....

Okay, I'm sorry of disapproving...

Pete, they need your help strighting out the wires you put up....

Oh, Boy are you going to get a talking to....

Now, you know why I won't swim in the creek out back...

Yeah, tou better not.......

I just don't know about this guy?

No wonder they don't have room for me...
It's that time.....good day...

~~ Our 17-year-old daughter, has finally shown some interest in cooking.
Recently, while we were watching TV, she was baking some
french fries and asked me to pause the show.
In less than a minute, she came back to the den.
"What was that about?" I asked.
She said that the instructions told her to turn the fries
halfway through cooking.
I remarked that she was pretty fast in flipping all those fries.
"Is that what it meant?" she replied.
"I just turned the pan around."

~~ Every effort must be made in childhood to teach the
young to use their own minds.
For one thing is sure: If they don't make up their own minds,
someone will do it for them.

~~ Taxiing down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped,
turned around and returned to the gate.
After a two hour delay, it finally took off.
Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward,
'What was the problem?'
'The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine',
explained the flight attendant,
'and it took us a while to find a new pilot.'

~~ When the graveside service had no more than terminated,
There was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a
distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,
"Well, she's there."

~~ As a newspaper photographer, I often spoke to groups
about my job.
After a presentation at a local primary school,
I received a note from one of the students:
"Thank you for telling us about your job.
I really like the photo with the burning house.
I wonder what it would be like to be a fireman?"

~~ A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has
not sufficient capital to form a corporation.

~~ At the dinner table, Lauren's six-year-old son Vincent
asked, "Are there still kings and queens in the world?"
Lauren just rolled her eyes when her nine-year-old son Reed
answered, "Yes Burger King and Dairy Queen."

~~ "My parents, my whole life, combined my birthday with
Christmas," Rita Rudner once recalled, "and you know how
frustrating that is for a child...especially 'cause I was born in

~~ My mother-in-law did not like venison,
a dislike she made extremely clear to me.
One day she dropped in, so I served her what we had in the
house, which was little individual meat loaves wrapped
around hard boiled eggs and covered with cheese sauce.
She absolutely adored them and insisted that I give her the
After telling her twice that she really didn't want it,
I finally gave in.
Just after she put her third helping on her plate,
I began the recipe. "Take three pound of ground deer meat . . . "
She put her third helping back on the serving platter.

~~ Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.
Sue: It grew on company time.
Boss: Not all that hair.
Sue: I didn't get it all cut.

~~ W. C. Fields always kept a martini-filled thermos on hand
while he was filming.
When pressed for an explanation, he invariably maintained
that the flask contained nothing but pineapple juice.
One day, shortly after a colleague had put his claim to the test,
Fields's angst-ridden cry rang out across the set:
"Somebody put pineapple juice," he cried,
"in my pineapple juice!"
"What contemptible scoundrel," Fields asked on another
occasion, "has stolen the cork to my lunch?"

~~ On a crowded bus, Gus noticed that Pete had his eyes
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" he asked.
"No, I'm okay........
It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."

Todays Thought: "Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune;                                                      but great minds rise above them." - Washington Irving
And for pete this morning: Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

Good Morning....A bit Nippy this morning....
We're having a cold spell this weekend..
I have 30º right now but will get colder before
day break..
Only in the upper 40's daytime for a spell...

Cloudy yesterday... Sunny today...windy!

Okay, Okay... I sorry we didn't save you some Turkey!
was able to get you some stuffing....?

Damn! someones got a big appitite....
You better stick with the Turkey.....

My, what big claws you got.....

You gotta earn your keep.....
Be glad I didn't ask you to vacuum the floors....

It's a good thing he's not hungry....

Eno's gonna have a Turkey Taco!!
With stuffing no less.....

Eno can't get by with anything.....

Well, I guess I gotta go......
My green car....

~~ President Obama spoke to students this week and told them to stay focused and stay in school.
You know why? Because there are no jobs out there.

~~ North Korea attacked South Korea by brazenly firing
mortars into their country.
Apparently what happened was, Kim Jong Il got angry over the
fact that Bristol Palin made it to the finals of
“Dancing With the Stars.”

~~ While he was a college student, Garth Brooks briefly
worked as a nightclub bouncer.
One evening a fiesty female patron named Sandy Mahl
entered the ladies' room and threw a punch at another
woman: an ex-boyfriend's jealous ex-girlfriend.
Mahl missed the ex- girlfriend and got her hand stuck in the
Brooks freed her hand, threw her out...and later married her.

~~ Did you hear about the athlete who tested positive for
He tripped during the 100m sprint and won gold in the
pole vault.

~~ My sister deals with customer complaints at the call
center of a major bank.
A very irate customer called one day to declare,
“My new computer banking software doesn't work.”
My sister tried to determine the problem and eventually
realized the software was working perfectly.
She began to explain this when the customer cut in,
“But money isn't coming out of the printer!”

~~ In the gift shop where I work part time,
all items are keyed into the cash register according to
category. While ringing up a customer's purchase,
I was unsure which merchandise code to apply to one of the
I held the package up and asked my co- worker,
"What do I put these under?"
Before she could reply, the customer said, "Glasses!"
The package contained table coasters.

~~ Did you hear about the cyclist who used viagra eye drops?
They made him look hard!

~~ Driving through Virginia, my wife and I went out of our way
to stop at what was billed as the largest McDonald's in the
However, we were less than thrilled when an employee
addressed everyone over the intercom:
"Attention, world's largest McDonald's customers."

~~ My friend Anita recently started taking a yoga class at
the local university gym.
Being in her mid-40s, she is one of the older students there.
One day, she lamented to me that the younger people in the
class seemed far more flexible and able to get into the poses.
Her eight-year-old daughter, Sophie, was listening in and
following her instructions, bending and twisting easily into
each pose.
"When does this get hard?" Sophie asked us.
"In about 30 years!" Anita replied.

~~ Q. Did you hear about the new Reversed Exorcist Movie?
A. They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the

Todays Thought:  If you haven't got a smile on your face And laughter in your heart,
Then you are just a sour old fart!
"Have a Great Day, unless you've made other plans"


Friday, November 26, 2010

Well, It's Black Friday...And all the women have gone looking
for great sales...... It's in the 50's and showers today....
By the way....The ham was GREAT! Of course I ate to much...

Blowing them leaves into a pile,
to haul into the woods....
This is about the fourth time so far...

Your safe....I got mine, but Pete's not got his yet....

Are you doing the 12 steps??

I take it you like the ice pop.....Turkey  flavor??

Pete fixed the broken fork on the bike......

How in the LL... am I supposed to fix biscuit's this morning??

How about some Turkey burgers??
I will even throw in some stuffing....

I don't see any chicken......
Pete is those Turkeys??

Are you calling me stupid??

A great sign for a used car dealer.....

Damn...I backed up to fast......
Now if I can get it fixed .....I be on my way....


~~ It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family.
Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for
herself alone.
The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
"Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so
much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.
"Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.
"I don't know," the blonde said.......
"It wouldn't sit still!"

~~ I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that
got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.

~~ Amber’s father decided to take all the family out to a
restaurant for a meal.
As he d spent quite a lot of money for the meal he said to the
waiter, “Could I have a bag to take the leftovers home for the
“Gosh!” exclaimed Amber, “Are we getting a dog?”

~~ President Obama said GM's comeback would be the
success story of this recession.
GM said it wanted to thank those who made its recovery
possible: Toyota’s brakes, Toyota’s steering and Toyota's

~~ Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

~~ My wife and I had bought some gadgets for our almost
teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we
realized we didn't have batteries.
She stepped over to a counter to get the batteries but couldn't
attract the attention of the clerk.
I waited for a little while then said "I'll get a clerk over here
real fast."
With that, I pulled out my pocket tape measure and started
measuring a plasma TV.
Amazingly, a clerk leap-frogged over several pieces of
furniture to reach my side in jig time.
To his "may I help you?" I said... "Of course.
I'll take 8 of those batteries over there."

~~ "A group of economists unveiled a new plan to reduce
the deficit by $6 trillion in the next 10 years.
The first step of the plan is to look at all our spending over
the past five years, determine what's unnecessary...
and then ask China for $6 trillion."

~~ My wife, and I recently went out to a comedy club with a
bunch of friends.
Since we sat near the front, the inevitable happened:
A comedian brought me up onto the stage.
He asked me who I came to the show with.
"My wife," I told him.
"How many years have you been married?" he asked.
"Fifty blissful years," I replied.
"It's actually 52 years," the wife corrected me.
Turning to the comedian, I told him, "Like I said,
50 blissful years...... The last two have been rough!"

~~ Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
Great food but no atmosphere.

~~ Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish.
The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the
One of the men said to the other, “Please help yourself.”
The other one said “Okay”, and helped himself to the larger
After a tense silence, the first one said,
“really, now, if you had offered me the first choice,
I would have taken the smaller fish!”
The other one replied, “What are you complaining for;
you have it, don’t you?”

~~ Our minister gathered the children at the front of the
church one Sunday and instructed them on the significance
of the "breaking of the bread."
He gave each child a morsel and said,
"Eat it and think about how you feel."
After they had finished he asked, "Now, do you feel closer
to God?"
"No," piped one young boy,
"but maybe with a little peanut butter I would."

~~ The minister was troubled because every Sunday an

increasing number of his congregation started leaving the
church during his sermon.
Then one day he had an idea...
The next Sunday he began his sermon with these words,
"The first half of my sermon today will be for the sinners
amongst you.
The second half will be for the saints...

Todays Thought....Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.