Good Morning, Friends and neighbors......
Hope you are having a great Memorial weekend....
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Full Stomach + Full Diaper = Bliss .......
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I think he's been drinking... at the cook-out....
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Another drinker.......
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She's got a nice privet space.....
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See mom.....paws are clean.....
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Now....how in the devil did you get up there?
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Nice spotter, Skippy!...
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Dump truck driver!!
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I would leave, but I can't get in.......
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~~ I had one of those Obama Census takers peaking in my window to
see if anyone was home.
She didn't see me so all of a sudden, I left out the door screaming
obscenities at her.
She ran but I'm sure she will be back.
They're just like the IRS.
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~~ I stole a couple of minutes from work to give my wife a call.
She put my two-year-old son on, and we chatted a while before he
ended it with an enthusiastic. "I love you!"
"I love you too," I said, with a dopey grin plastered on my face.
I was about to hang up when I heard him ask sweetly,
"Mommy, who was that?"
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~~ The Mexican restaurant looked great, but it wasn't open.
So I jotted down the name for another day.
Just then, a man came out of the restaurant and took a peek at what
I'd written.
"That's not the name of the restaurant," he said, pointing to the sign.
"That's Spanish for 'Closed on Mondays."
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~~ The economy continues to spiral.
I saw a bank robber today being held up by a teller.
It's so bad, I went to my ATM machine and it gave me an IOU.
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~~ Overheard in a computer shop:
CUSTOMER: Yeah, I need a mouse pad.
SALESPERSON: No problem, sir, we're got a large variety.
CUSTOMER: But will they be compatible with my computer?
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~~ AN NEWSPAPER AD: Get rid of aunts:
Zap does the job in 24 hours.
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~~ The owner of a Massachusetts day care center and several of her
employees were sued by the parents of a child in their care.
The parents found out that the owner, obviously intrigued by the
versatility of duct tape, wanted to find out if it really did "work on
everything"...and taped their child to the wall.
The child was not physically harmed and feels relieved to have
survived a very sticky situation.
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~~ Pete: What did you learn in school today?
Gus: Algebra.
Pete: Say something in algebra.
Gus: Pi r squared.
Pete: No, no! Pie are round, cornbread are square!
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~~ A sexual harassment lawsuit was settled by a Safeway Store in
Kapolei, Hawaii, when a male employee was caught spying on a female
customer through a restroom peephole.
He was caught when the woman realized she was being watched and
shoved a toilet plunger handle through the hole and into his eye socket.
Apparently the man wasn't lying when he said he got a real eyeful.
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~~ A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings.
As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she
had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned.
"Tell me," she asked the rather elderly salesman,
"is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said,
"one of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater."
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~~ Two guys rob a store, they burst out the door running as they hear
the sirens of cop cars coming closer.
The two dive into two separate bushes hoping they won't get caught.
Soon the cop cars stop near the bushes and the two robbers hearing
foot steps grow more nervous.
A cop then grabs one of the guys out the bush laughing "Busted".
As he drags the robber off he looks back shaking his head in shame...
"Come on John!!!!!!!!" he screams "They got US!"
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Todays Thought; The light of a hundred stars cannot equal the light of the moon.
I'm thinking of taking "Witchy" to possum lodge,
for a roadkill cookout......
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